Long Road Back To Good
by cantstopobsessing
Summary: Part three of series Fixing What Was Broken. House tries to get himself together while he and Cuddy try to figure out where they go from there.
1. Chapter 1

"Was it a stupid thing of me to blurt out all those feelings like that?" Cuddy asked Wilson as she sat on his couch in his office.

"Iiii think it was brave. It couldn't have been easy for you to not only acknowledge but CONFESS those feelings." Wilson told her in an almost awe. "He's not an easy guy to love-"

Cuddy scoffed, "no, he's not."

"But, I think it's good you told him. Because now, at least he knows someone BESIDES me cares whether he lives or dies. That means a lot to him. Whether he'll say it or not."

"Which he probably won't."

Wilson hesitated, "yeah, he probably won't. At least, right now. But, it's a start. Have you talked to him since you last saw him?"

"No, I told him I'd call and check up on him tomorrow, which, now is today. The thing that gets me is he told me he never stopped loving me."

"And that surprises you?" Wilson's eyebrows raised showing surprise himself.

"No," Cuddy looked away from him and down at her feet. "I guess not. I just thought if either of us felt any good about what happened, it would be him. I mean, he's the one that got all his anger out."

She looked back up at him. "No, he's miserable about what he did to you."

Cuddy took a deep breath through her nose while twisting her mouth in thought. "I'll just have to see how he acts when I call him."

"I think that's all you can do at this point."

She got up and walked towards his door. "Thanks, Wilson," he nodded and she walked out, leaving him to replay all the events that she told him happened. All the confessions. He couldn't help but smile for his friend.

House was limping quickly from the bathroom when he heard his cell phone ringing. He remembered Cuddy saying she was going to call to see if he was okay and he told her he would answer. He half didn't believe her when she said that, but, he didn't want to take the chance of missing her call. He looked down at the screen and smiled at her name.

"So you did mean it when you said you were going to call," he said instead answering with a hello.

"Why would you think I wouldn't?" she asked looking confused, even though she knew he couldn't see it as she sat at her desk holding her cell phone in her right hand.

"I don't know. You had time to think about what happened. Maybe changed your mind about how you felt."

She looked down at her desk frowning. He didn't believe what she said was true. "House, I wasn't lying about what I told you yesterday. Were you?"

There was a long pause from his end that rattled her nerves. After talking to Wilson she stopped wondering about his point of view of things. But, did they both have him wrong? "No, I wasn't lying," he said softly into the phone. An uneven breath escaped her.

"So, have you thought about coming back to work?"

"Freddy's doing a good enough job isn't he?"

She smiled at the nickname he gave Fredrickson. "Yeah, he's working out. But, he also knows that there's a chance of you returning and he knows that Department was built around you and wouldn't mind stepping down to be a member of your team. If you decide to come back."

She hoped with that he would say that he'd be in tomorrow. "I don't think I'm ready."

"Okay," she said in an understanding tone, not wanting to push him into anything. She wanted him to take the time he needs. Cuddy heard a request for her in the Clinic over the speaker on her desk phone that House heard on his end. "House, I got to-"

"Go. I know."

"I'll call you later."

"Sure," was all he said then hung up.

She looked at her cell phone when he disconnected their call unsure of what to make of it. Was he getting help or just ignoring coming back? She got up off her chair and headed to the Clinic trying to not think of him for the rest of her shift...


	2. Chapter 2

House woke up the next morning in agonizing pain. His leg felt awful. He reached blindly for his Vicodin bottle with his eyes squeezed shut. When he found it, it didn't feel like it had any weight so opened his eyes to look at it.

"Crap!" he threw the bottle at the wall forgetting he took the last pill before he went to bed. He turned his body over to his left and pawed at his cell phone and selected Wilson's cell.

"What is now, House?"

"I need pills!"

"You're out already?"

"You didn't give me enough. I need more!" he whined.

"I stopped delivery service a long time ago. You want them, come in and get them yourself."

House decided to overlook his unwillingness to bring them to him and was just thankful he didn't put up a fight when he asked for more. He set his cell back on the nightstand to cradle his right leg over the side of the mattress and limped while clutching it to the bathroom to take a shower to go to the hospital.

He came into the lobby limping worse than usual and ignored the stares from the nurses as they took notice. He took a quick glance into Cuddy's office and saw she wasn't there. He took the elevator up to Wilson's floor.

Wilson jumped in his seat when House swung the door open and shouted out "I'm here! Now give 'em!" After Wilson took a deep breath to calm himself back down from House barging in the way he did he scowled at him.

"They're at the Pharmacy waiting for you," he said flatly.

House slouched on his couch and looked over at his friend who seemed not himself, on a shorter fuse than normal. "Why are you so pissy today?"

Wilson let out a long sigh, and looked at House. "I have this patient, that isn't going to make it. She got diagnosed too late and I don't think there's anything I can do. We've tried surgery to open her up and remove the tumors but when we did, we saw she had so much, removing them would be too risky," he paused and looked down at his desk. "So, we closed her up. Now I'm trying to find something I can give to her to take to make her more comfortable but-" Wilson trailed off in thought as he was staring at her chart he took from her room.

House examined Wilson's demeanor. "You know what you're problem is?" he started and Wilson looked back up at him. "You care too much. If there's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can do. It's not like you can't walk away and say that you didn't TRY to save her life." He watched as Wilson thought about what he just said. "Now go get my pills!" House demanded.

Wilson looked over at him annoyed. "Why do I have to get them for you?"

House lifted his leg, "because it hurts too much to walk on."

"You couldn't of gotten them on your way up here?"

"It was too far away from the elevator."

Wilson knew he was lying. But saw that House's expression was full of discomfort as he was holding his thigh. "Fine, I'll get them for you," Wilson announced surrendering. "Be right back," he got up and headed toward his door.

"Thanks, Wilson!" he shouted out after him after he closed the door behind him.

House was bouncing his cane on the floor in a beat waiting for Wilson to come back when the door opened. "Wilson I-" Cuddy stopped when she saw House look up at her from his couch, who also stopped bouncing his cane and held it still. "House, I, didn't know you were here."

"Came to get pills. Wilson went down to get them for me."

She nodded, "I just wanted to ask how his patient was doing and-"

"He should be back soon. Left a couple minutes ago."

"Okay," they stared awkwardly at each other not really knowing what to say when the drawings on her cast caught his attention. "Rachel's work?"

She followed his gaze. "Yeah, she wanted the whole thing to draw on," he saw her eyes were creased from his angle which told him she was thinking back to when she told her that and was smiling.

"When do you get it off?"

"Next week," she looked back up at him.

"That's good," he turned his head to the left and looked at the curve of his cane and started bouncing it again.

"So, how are-"

She saw that he looked up to look at her again, only he looked away from her to behind her and turned herself to see Wilson had arrived with House's pill bottle and tossed it over to him which he caught from where he sat. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?" Wilson stood where he was prepared to leave them alone if they wanted any privacy.

"No. I was just leaving." House opened his bottle and popped a couple before he leaned on his cane to help him stand and started walking toward the door, which Cuddy slid to her right to get out of the way of. "Thanks, Wilson," he looked at him at his right with a smile. Wilson nodded and smiled back and House's expression got serious again, put his head down but shifted his eyes in Cuddy's direction. "See ya," and with that, House walked out, closing the door behind him.

"What was that all about?" Wilson asked as he walked behind his desk to sit down.

"I have no idea," Cuddy answered staring at the closed door.

"He didn't say anything to you?"

Cuddy looked at him confused. "No, just small talk. Can you...talk to him for me? See if anything is going on? I would but-"

"You don't want to scare him off or freak him out?"

Cuddy nodded.

"Sure, I'll talk to him." He watched as Cuddy walked out herself and left Wilson wondering what the reason was for her to come to his office in the first place, and what was going on with House...


	3. Chapter 3

Before Wilson went home from the hospital he stopped by House's apartment. He walked up to the door, knocked, and heard the piano that was being played a second ago stop abruptly. "House, I know you're there. Your motorcycle is outside and I just heard your piano." He listened at the door and heard complete silence. "House."

A couple seconds later he heard steps coming toward the door. "What?" he asked opening only wide enough for House to stick his head through.

"Can I come in?"

House studied him as he stood there hoping House would open the door further. "Yeah."

Wilson walked in and started looking around, seeing that he has given up with locking himself in away from everyone that may be trying to get in. "It's good to see you don't have locks on the windows anymore." House sat on his couch and grabbed his mug that Wilson hoped was full of coffee after Cuddy told him how she found him when she came here a few weeks back.

"So what do you want?"

"I want to see what is up with you." Wilson said taking a seat on the left side of the couch, opposite the side House took.

"What is up with me?" House repeated.

"Yeah, you seemed fine this morning or more-yourself," Wilson corrected, "then Cuddy shows up and you couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough. I thought you two were okay now."

"We are," House took another drink of his coffee then reached into his pocket for his pills and took one.

"Does she know that?"

"She should."

"House," he said trying to get his attention and to look at him, away from the mug that he was holding in his right hand. He set it down, feeling Wilson's stare.

"What do you want me to say, Wilson?" his tone raised and he turned his head to face him. "That everything is okay? She loves me and I love her and we're going to live happily ever after? Is THAT what you want to hear?" his eyes were wide, challenging Wilson.

"Well obviously you guys have things to work through. But, shouldn't you TALK to work through them?"

House looked straight ahead again at the wall facing them and then glanced down at his hands while taking a deep breath through his nose. "That's what my shrink said," he admitted softly.

"You're back with him?"

Wilson saw his eyes shift back straight ahead to the wall then tilted his head to face Wilson. "No. He can't see me for another couple of months. He has too many patients. But, he advised me to go to a colleague of his if I wanted to see someone right away. I saw him for the first time yesterday after I- after Cuddy called me. APPARENTLY Nolan gave him all his notes he had been taking when meeting with me so this guy knows about my history. And HE wants to meet Cuddy. Wants her to come in with me in three weeks. He says he wants to sit with me a couple times alone. But thinks bringing Cuddy in will be 'Good for me,'" House said the quote sarcastically.

"This is good. This is big. Have you told her this yet?" Wilson was clearly excited about this step forward that House's new therapist has suggested.

House turned his head back to his hands, "nnno. I haven't."

"House, you have to tell her. This could be a positive step. For BOTH of you."

"I know," he said solemnly.

"House," Wilson started in a caring down. "Are you, afraid to make things right with her?"

He took a second to answer and appreciated the fact that Wilson wasn't pressing any more questions on him before he answered that one. "What if- we find ourselves back where we were- a couple. Only to find that ONE of us gets the other one mad all over again and we end up-BACK where we were? She's at a different hospital and I'm- here."

Once the shock of House actually opening up to Wilson as honestly as he just did without making any jokes subsided he took in what he just heard.

"Is she still worth taking that risk to you?"

"It's CUDDY, Wilson," he said giving him a look like it was a stupid question which made Wilson chuckle. He felt relieved to see that look, knowing he hadn't lost House in a depressed haze. He still had the ability to look at Wilson though he was an idiot and that was welcoming in Wilson's eyes.

"If you feel that way, then, tell her to show up. But first, you need to talk to her. Just, call her. About ANYTHING. You left her pretty confused earlier."

House thought over what Wilson just said. "I think I'm wasting money on all these shrinks," he tilted his head again back towards Wilson. "Who needs 'em when I have you," he said with a smirk.

"Oh believe me, you NEED THEM," Wilson said while standing up. "Call her, House."

"Yeah," House grabbed his mug and held it in his hands before taking a sip and saw Wilson walking toward the door. "I'm going to head home now. I'll see you later."

Wilson let himself out and House looked at his cell phone sitting on his coffee table and his wristwatch that read 8:30 and wondered if she was helping Rachel get ready for bed or if she was free to talk...


	4. Chapter 4

House grabbed his cellphone and selected her number and hit the call button. It rang three times before she picked up. He heard Rachel in the background and Cuddy was muffled not yet having her phone to her ear yelling at her to not run in the house. Something he always encouraged her to do. "There's so many things in here to destroy, Rachel!" That would always bring a smile to her face and get her to run from her room, down the hallway and into the living room where he was standing, leaning on his cane, waiting for her.

He was imagining her running down the hall when a thought hit him.

He had no idea what their hallway looked like. Because of him, they had to leave it. "Hello?" Cuddy finally said into the phone, House being able to tell she didn't see the screen to let her know who was calling otherwise would have addressed him directly. But, he couldn't do it. He took his phone off of his ear and disconnected the call.

A couple seconds later, as he expected, his cell rang with caller ID saying it was Cuddy.

"Yeah?"

"House, you just called, are you alright?"

"Yeeeaaaahhhh, you know, I called YOU by accident when I was meaning to call Candy. She's this..well, I was a bit lonely and-"

"Oh," her voice dropped in tone and he knew what he said hurt her.

He didn't even know why he said it. He squeezed his eyes shut, twisted his mouth and banged his left hand on the couch cushion next to him. "That's a lie," he paused, "I haven't even saved her number in here yet and-"

"House, I don't have time for this," she started to sound annoyed. "Either you have a reason for calling or you don't, which is it?"

"I have- a favor to ask," House dragged out of himself.

"Is it about work? Are you thinking of coming back?" her voice sounded eager.

He wondered why she kept bringing the hospital up. Was she trying to get him there for the benefit of the hospital, or just to have him there to be close? "You know what? Forget it. Never mind. Good night, Cuddy."

"But House I-" she heard the phone disconnect from his end.

He tossed his cell phone on the couch and looked around his apartment stopping at his piano. He grabbed his cane and walked over to it to play.

As he was playing his eighth song, he stopped midway through when he heard a knock at the door. Wilson was already here, he didn't call for anyone to come over so considered not answering it, deciding whoever it was, it wasn't of any interest to him. But, the curiosity got the best of him when the knock came again.

He got up from where he was sitting, grabbed his cane and opened the door. "What was the favor?"

House poked his head outside confused and looked at her. "Don't you have a kid who is supposed to be with you?"

"Called a neighbor to come over and watch her. What's the favor?"

"It's nothing."

"House."

"REALLY. It's nothing. You can go home now, I-" she stuck her foot in his doorway to stop him from closing it on her and raised her right eyebrow at him.

"What's the favor?"

He turned his back to her and walked to the couch. She walked further into the apartment and kept her eyes on him seeing that his limp looked worse than she remembered. His cut was better, and she knew he was in pain earlier needed his pills but, she doesn't remember his limp ever being this bad. She looked up when she saw his leg turned because HE turned to face her.

"What? What is it?"

"How bad is your pain?"

"Bad."

"How bad?"

"Oh...I don't know. Almost like- PART OF MY MUSCLE IS MISSING!"

She shouldn't have expected an answer any different than that. She closed the door behind her and walked to his couch and sat down, leaving a cushion in between them.

"Why did you call, House?"

She could tell he was struggling to find the right words. She was starting to be a little fearful of what it was he had to ask her. "I'm starting to see this shrink-"

"That's great!"

"I'm not finished!"

"Sorry. Go on."

"One of the things he wants to do, which I think is stupid and leaves me to question if I should even be dealing with this guy or wait until MY guy can take me because this one might be a moron- I mean, his first name is Scott. Says his friends call him 'Scotty.' I don't know if I can trust a guy who has a nickname that a five year old usually has. Therapist's names should be names that you hear from old century times. Because they SHOULD be old. Their names reflect their age. There should be no way to make it sound cute by sticking a "Y" at the end. What was he thinking even TELLING me that in the first-"

"House."

He sighed, while nodding his head as if saying 'no,' still showing signs of resistance and looked at her who was still fully interested in what he wanted to ask her. "He wants to meet you. He thinks it will help if we sit there together."

"Like COUPLES therapy?"

"No. Because we're not a couple."

"I KNOW we're not a couple!"

He looked down while he rubbed his right thigh and they fell into silence, which Cuddy broke after a few seconds. "So, when is it?"

"You don't HAVE to go," he looked back at her and she noticed he kept rubbing his leg.

"I know. But, I will. If it will help you. When is it?"

He looked up in thought. "Three weeks from now. On Monday at five."

"Okay. Then I'll talk to you again when it gets closer."

He nodded his head.

"I should get back home and let my neighbor get back home."

"Yeah," she stood up and let herself out. She paused on the other side of his door smiling at the thought of House going as far as talking to a therapist again to get back on track. But, her smile started fading when it dawned on her that she just agreed to go with him...


	5. Chapter 5

House was sitting in his therapist's waiting room to go in alone. He talked to Cuddy when she called a few days beforehand like she said she would to find out where his office was. But, it was ten minutes until they were both due to go in, and only he was waiting.

Wa she really not coming? It wasn't like her to be like this. Everything always had to be perfect with her. If she said she was going to be somewhere, she was going to be there.

But, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't. She didn't owe him anything. He sees that now.

If he were asked that question a year ago-maybe even six months ago, he would have said 'yes.' She owed him months to make up for the ones he was in pain. All the hurt he felt seeing her at the hospital after she broke up with him. Seeing her walking around, talking to the staff like nothing was wrong hurt him. His life completely flipped upside down while she seemed to go on like nothing happened.

That's how he saw it, anyway.

He was miserable so he must make her miserable. Seemed like logical reasoning at the time. But, he held off. Didn't have it in him to do it. She kept insisting they talk so got him to sit with her at the cafeteria. It was then that he realized that maybe she wasn't so happy either. But still, seeing her was too hard.

She said she wasn't seeing anyone. He felt slightly better when he heard that. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to stand seeing her with another guy after he dealt with seeing her with Lucas, and that was BEFORE they were together. His mind couldn't wrap around that idea quite yet. However, knowing that made the hurt worse at the same time. By her admitting that she hadn't seen anyone since him or is seeing anyone and she still isn't back with him, meant that she may not ever plan on it.

He desperately wanted back with her, but she seemed to not share that feeling.

But, when he finally cornered her and SAID how hurt he felt, she looked sad. That made him think.

Maybe.

He would play along, give her the stupid brush back if she wanted. Give her the space she seemed to need. Then maybe she will find her way back to him.

He felt there was a little hope left.

All that went away when he started limping up her walkway.

He saw his plan disappear. She saw him with another guy, right after she said she wasn't with anyone.

She lied.

The misery took control. The impulse to make her miserable was back, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He wanted her to know what misery felt like.

So, he kicked Wilson out of the car and did the only thing he could think of.

House pulled himself out of that memory and looked up at the clock on the wall. Five more minutes left. He stared outside the window that was at his right and continued to wait...


	6. Chapter 6

House saw the door to the office open seeing the same guy he sees every week walk out and Scott behind him, looking at House.

"Greg, you ready?"

"Yeah," he leaned on his cane to help him up and walked into the door leaving Scott to look around the waiting room then at House who already sat down and made himself comfortable.

"Did you ever tell Cuddy that I wanted her to come in with you?" Scott asked still standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, I told her. She knew." Scott gave him a sympathetic look while closing the door. "Look, can we move on and get this thing over with?" House asked annoyed that he asked about her. Did he HAVE to give him that look?

"Do you want to talk about her not being here?" Scott asked, taking the seat across from him.

"No, I don't. Next question."

"Have you gone back to work since I last saw you?"

"Nope." House stared at him for the next question.

Scott was warned that he was like this before he sat with him the first time. He's hard to pry open, but when you find the right question you'll know it. He'll give more than a 'yes' or 'no' for an answer and just go with whatever subject it is that makes him say more than that. Even though with House, there were many subjects he can cover, he wanted to try this one again. "Do you know when you WANT to go back yet?"

"No," he answered, irritated.

Scott heard the tone as a sign he's had enough with that subject. "How often do you talk to Wilson?"

"Enough."

"So, you still communicate with others? You don't keep yourself isolated for too long?"

"No."

"How's your leg since-"

"Good."

"Greg, are you SURE you don't want to talk about what-" There was a knock that interrupted him. "Excuse me," Scott got up and walked to the door as House stayed positioned where he was, looking straight ahead.

"Hi, I'm sorry I'm late."

House's eyes closed in relief when he heard Cuddy's voice.

"Lisa Cuddy?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Please, come in. You can take a seat next to Greg." Scott let her in and closed the door and Cuddy awkwardly walked over to the chair on the right side of House and saw that he quickly looked at her in the corner of his eye than back straight ahead. She sat down and Scott sat back down where he was. "My name is Scott Harper. You can call me Scott though."

"Okay," Cuddy smiled politely at him. "You can call me whatever you feel comfortable with."

It was his turn to smile back and House observed how nice they were with each other and turned his head to look at Cuddy and saw that she was once again wearing an infamous revealing top. Scott's smile made more sense to him now.

"So, Greg," House looked back at Scott silently, dropping his cane to the floor that his left hand was resting on which now moved to his lap. He left the cane where it was. "You never answered my question about your leg."

"We're still on this?" he asked letting his annoyance show.

"Yes, we are."

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Cuddy, who wasn't sure what they were talking about asked a question. "Are you asking him because of the infection he had a few weeks back?" She looked from Scott to House. "I thought that healed." House looked at her but didn't give an answer.

"You never told her what happened?"

He looked at Scott. "No. But, I'm sure you will."

"No. You should tell her. You need to open up more to the people in your life. This is a good way to start."

House said nothing, and stared at Scott, as he waited for him to speak, trying to give him encouraging looks.

"Will SOMEONE tell me?" Cuddy shouted out.

House turned his head in her direction but looked at her chairs armrest instead of into her eyes. "He's making it out to be a bigger deal than it is. It's nothing."

"Is this the reason why you had to get a refill so soon? Wilson was worried after you left that day. He said you shouldn't have asked for a new refill for at least another week. Is the pain worse?"

Scott sat back in his chair and watched as he let them talk.

"No. It's not pain like that. It's a different pain."

"I thought your infection was better."

He finally looked at her. "It is. That's not it. But, how would you know my infection is gone? Last time I saw you it-"

"Wilson told me."

House looked straight ahead again. But, not at Scott, instead he focused on the small window that was behind Scott.

"House, tell me what's going on?"

He didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else. The only one that seemed to notice that time was going by was Scott, but he wasn't going to rush anything. He wanted to see if House would say anything on his own. He kept staring out the window, and Cuddy kept staring at him, and he knew it. He felt her overly-concerned look on her face pointed directly at him.

Fifteen minutes had passed. He twisted his mouth, and looked down, knowing only he could break the silence and her stare. "I had this dream about- a month ago," House started still looking down. Scott wanted to smile at the fact he was talking, but, didn't, not wanting him to look up and see it and use it as an excuse to take it back. "It was my muscle. It started the same way it did years ago. Blood clot, and the muscle was dying. Instead of Stacy and I coming to you-" he looked at his cane still on the floor. Looking at anything but either of them. "I was alone. Stacy wasn't there. I didn't come to you. Instead it was this guy I never seen before. They were going to amputate."

House paused and Cuddy was holding her breath, not liking where this dream of his was going. "I was awake, during the surgery. I felt it. And when I woke up," he looked down at his lap. "I woke up to me cutting my leg. I was doing it to myself."

Cuddy was stunned into silence. She felt like all the life was pulled out of her. He was cutting his own leg in his sleep? She felt awful. He was dealing with all of this alone? She KNEW Wilson didn't know because that's the kind of thing that he would have went running to tell her.

"You didn't feel it right away? You didn't wake up the second you started..." she struggled getting the next word out, "cutting?"

He looked at her for the first time. "I was so out of my mind before I went to sleep. It was after-everything. Your accident. After I quit. I stitched it myself. Even when I went into the ER, they didn't question it."

House looked back outside and Cuddy didn't say anything more. Thinking back to all the times she saw him rubbing his leg, noticing it seemed like he was doing it a lot more, and seeing his limp looked worse. But, she never bugged him. Never got on his case about what was wrong.

If she didn't let her sister make him think those things about him, that he was the reason for EVERYTHING bad in her life than he wouldn't have gotten messed up and maybe would have felt what he was doing right away and woke up, and he wouldn't be feeling all this extra pain. "It's all my fault," she mumbled to herself.

"Yeah," House said with no hint of sarcasm. He meant it and she looked shocked.

"You BLAME me?"

"Didn't you just do that?"

"I didn't think you'd AGREE WITH ME ABOUT IT!"

"What did you want me to do? Say no. Nothing is your fault? That you in NO WAY DROVE ME to do this?"

Scott sat up straight opening his mouth, trying to speak and interject but he wasn't having any luck so far. So, he let them try and resolve it themselves.

"At least say it's not ENTIRELY my fault!"

"But you just said it's ALL your fault! And for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE you might be RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING!"

Their faces were inches away from each other, both bright red. "Don't act like you've done NOTHING to me!"

House scowled at her. "I know what I did to you. I DON'T need reminding! And yes, it was awful. But you have a list of things you've done to me! Or, have you forgotten?"

"What list?"

"You pulled me in...tell me 'everyone knows this is going somewhere.' You made me BELIEVE YOU actually felt that. But when I started seeing DEAD MEMBERS OF MY TEAM and have to go away and be institutionalized..YOU DECIDE TO START DATING LUCAS! You could have picked ANYONE but you pick the ONE guy that I knew OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL!"

Cuddy shut her mouth. She was ready to scream back but, she didn't know what to say to that. He was right. There wasn't anything she could say to make her side sound better. She gave him hope about them, and took it away.

House stared at her, as she slumped into her chair and looked away from him, like she was surrendering from that subject.

"Clearly," Scott broke in as carefully as he could, "we have a lot of things to work through. Lisa, I would like to see you again. Maybe come back in during Greg's time in a couple weeks? If that works for you?" Cuddy just stared at him and he went on. "I would also like to work out a day of the week where I can maybe talk to you one on one too. We'll do that before all three of us meet again. To get your side of how your relationship with Greg is like. So I have a better understanding of things. So, if you wouldn't mind staying for a few more minutes so we can figure that out-"

House looked at the time and noticed the hour was up. Without a word he picked up his cane and walked out...


	7. Chapter 7

Wilson was banging on House's door the next day nonstop screaming his name until House opened it. "You cut and stitched your own leg?" House rolled his eyes at him knowing Cuddy told him and closed the door when Wilson walked in.

"How did you even?-What did you even USE? What do you SLEEPWALK now?" Wilson was pacing House's living room his eyes wide, full of questions. "Why didn't you TELL me?" He stopped pacing and looked at House who was now slouched down on his couch.

"I had a knife next to my bed. I used it earlier that day to cut a tag off of a pillow I got. Must have grabbed it in my sleep. And I didn't TELL you because I knew you'd act like THIS."

Wilson let out a sigh and mirrored his slouch, sitting on House's left, and turned his head to face him. "So have you thought anymore about coming back to work?"

"Why is everybody asking me that?" House asked annoyed.

"Who's everybody?"

"My shrink, Cuddy, and you."

Wilson looked in front of him, away from House. "Yeah, that sounds like everybody."

House scowled at his sarcastic tone. "You know what I mean."

"Well, have you?"

"Why are you asking? So you can babysit me? Make sure I don't do anything stupid to injure myself?"

Wilson looked back at him. "Yeah. It's either me or Cuddy looking in on you. And she tells me that you still don't talk to her unless there's no going around it. That tells ME that she CAN'T look after you even if she wanted to which she DOES. So, that leaves me. I can't watch you when I'm at work and you AREN'T." Wilson watched as House was shifting his eyes around the wall in front of them and then looked at him. Wilson raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to say something.

"If I'm avoiding Cuddy, then why would I go back to the place where she is everyday?"

Wilson's hopeful expression, thinking he convinced House to come back, went away. "I don't know," he said softly. "I DO know that I am there, and I'm sick of worrying about you." He got up off the couch and turned to face the door but looked back at House before walking to it. "So if you care AT ALL about me, then at least consider it."

Wilson turned his head and walked out of House's apartment, leaving him with his thoughts.

He sat there replaying the conversation he just had with Wilson in his head a couple times and got up. He looked at his wristwatch that told him it was 1:30 in the afternoon. He grabbed his keys and jacket and headed out the door, ten minutes behind Wilson and went to the hospital.

"Does it still have my name on the door to my office?" House asked when he swung the door open to Cuddy's office catching her off guard.

"Yes," she said more as a question then an answer as she watched him sit down on the chair next to the couch and had his right hand resting on the top of his cane that he kept upright next to him.

"Good. Then I'm coming back."

"Okay," she said slowly.

"Is this conversation confusing you?" He asked picking up on her different tones.

"No," she snapped out of it. "When?"

"I'm thinking..." he looked at his cane as his hand was rocking it left to right like a pendulum. "The day after tomorrow." He looked at her, still moving his cane.

"Alright."

He inhaled deeply like he was getting ready to give a long winded speech, "good." He leaned on his cane to stand up and walked out of Cuddy's office, closing the door behind him leaving Cuddy at her desk speechless...


	8. Chapter 8

House walked into his office at 9:00 the next morning, threw his backpack and jacket on the chair facing his desk and went into the other room where his team sat around, staring at him, all their mouths open in shock.

"House, you're here." Taub stated dumbfounded.

House looked around the room and at himself, touching his chest, feeling around. "Oh my God, you mean I'm NOT invisible? You can see me?"

"Welcome back, House," Chase said greeting him after watching his performance. "Do we have a patient yet?"

"Iiii was hoping you would go down and ask Cuddy for me," House told Chase.

"Why?"

"Because I'm already up here."

Chase raised an eyebrow thinking there was more to it, but left without another word and headed towards the elevator.

"What is it, Chase?" Cuddy asked looking up from a stack of files she was sorting through on her desk only fast enough to see who it was before she looked back down to continue sorting through them.

"Is there a patient for us today?" he asked awkwardly.

She looked back up. "Of course, House isn't here yet. It's too early," she started flipping through them to get to his Department.

"Uh, no, actually. He is here. Just got here about-" he made a face in thought, "five minutes ago."

"And he sent you down here?" she asked when she got up and walked around her desk to hand it to him. Ever since she got her cast off she has been walking around as much as she could to bulk up the muscle that got smaller when she wasn't using it.

He took it from her, "yeah. He had some lame excuse about how he was already up there," he knew their history the best out of everyone on House's team and recognized the look of disappointment on her face. He has seen that a lot over the years-all House's doing. He felt bad for Cuddy. "You know, you can easily corner him when walking down the hall. Not like he can run away," he smiled when he saw that triggered a smile from her. He turned and let himself out.

Cuddy hadn't heard anything from House or his team and that started making her nervous. Not coming to her could mean one of two things: they are at a loss at making the diagnosis so they don't need her approval to do any radical procedure or, they DO have a diagnosis that does in fact require a radical procedure and decided to do it without coming to her because they know they won't get her go ahead. Knowing House is back and dealing with his rationality, she feared the latter.

She took the elevator up to his floor and before the doors opened she heard him talking in the hallway. She stepped out and saw House in the center ahead of all of them and his team on both sides of him following. "Don't you this we should run it by Cuddy, first?" Taub asked nervously.

House spotted her and kept his eye on her. "No," he answered Taub.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "what are you not running by me?"

"Nothing."

"Can I talk to you a minute?" Cuddy had that pleading look in her eye that he couldn't shy away from.

"Yeah, okay," he said in a tone that she got used to when they were a couple. His non-sarcastic, tone. When he's not trying to scheme anything out of anyone, or pulling a prank on anyone. He used his normal tone. She missed it.

He turned to his team, and as fast as that tone came, it went. He put a hand to cover his mouth from her so she couldn't read his lips and talked through one side of his mouth which distorted his voice. "Go get the thing done. But don't tell," he paused for the dramatic effect and looked in Cuddy's direction with his eyes as though he was motioning to her "you know whooo."

His team rolled their eyes and went in the direction of their patient's room and House looked back at her with a smile. "Now, what do you want to talk about?"

"Are you trying to avoid me? Because I haven't seen or talked to you since the last therapy session and well, that went..the way it went. And I just..."

"What? Want to be okay? You want everything to be the way it was before? Where I barge into your office, demanding that I need to-" he looked away thinking for a second then looked back at her, "cut off some guys head to make his nose stop running, that I need to give a guy a heart attack because he won't stop having seizures, that I need to biopsy someone's Kidney because I suspect he might have Lung Cancer? And you yell and scream back saying that those things won't prove anything because they aren't even related. I demand that they are- and then we don't speak for a couple hours, until I EVENTUALLY get my way because it's either that or do nothing and for some freak reason all those things work in diagnosing the seemingly unrelated things I want to do. You go home happy, I..just go home, and we do it all over again the next day. You mean like that?"

She didn't say anything. She just looked at him with a half closed mouth smile on her face. "What is it?" he asked searching her face for a clue to the answer before she said it.

"That's the MOST you've said to me in a month. It's a start."

He took a deep through his nose and let it out the same way and turned his head to the right of her but his eyes came back to her face, looking sad. "Therapy with you is all I can handle right now. I'm trying to work some things out." He turned and started walking away from her to meet up with his team.

"House," she called out.

"Then why did you come back?"

He turned back again to face her and thought for a second before answering. He wanted to say her. The way she was looking at him, waiting for his answer told him she wanted him to say that. Maybe she was serious about making it work with him for good this time. But, what he told Wilson was still true. He was afraid to make things right. Because of that risk that it doesn't work. But, isn't that why he's in therapy? To help assure him it's okay to take the risk? That this time maybe he will be happy and stay that way? It's the maybe he didn't like. He WAS trying. But, he had to try to stay away from her for a while. If he had to see her here in passing, fine. He could do that. If he had to sit with her in therapy for a while, sure, if it will get Scott off his back. Until he knew he was ready to dive back in, that might be all he could handle right now.

He knew she didn't want to hear any of this. She was being hopeful and he wasn't. So he lied. "I miss the puzzles." He turned back around and walked down the hall...


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks had passed since House came back to work, and since then, Cuddy has gone to see Scott by herself. She was sure he has too. Even though he didn't say anything to her about it, and they had to go back in together after their shifts were over.

She wanted to at least pass him in the hallway SOMEWHERE in the hospital before they go. Scott knows that he is avoiding her at work, they talked all about it when she was in her session but, she hoped that it would have changed by now. She wanted to tell him some GOOD news. House has been very careful about where he has been roaming. She felt it was time to put an end to it. To force him out of his hiding. She stopped caring about Wilson's advice about leaving him alone and waiting for him to come to her when he was ready.

That could take forever.

She took the elevator to his office floor and walked over to it, peeking in before reaching his door, disappointed to see that both rooms were empty. Even when he wasn't purposely going out of his way to not run into her, he was succeeding. She didn't want to give up; he had to come back sometime to bounce his ball on the wall and claim he's working. She sat on the bench at the end of the hall and started to wait.

After a minute of sitting with her right leg crossed over her left, moving her right ankle back and forth, like a nervous twitch, she thought about how it looked. She had reached the level of stalking.

She uncrossed her legs and stood up, letting out a moan of irritation with him. She had no choice but to go back down to her office and try again later.

She just passed his main office when she heard their voices. Of course, he was with Wilson, she thought.

Wilson.

All his advice he was giving her to give him space and he had nothing to worry about. Nothing changed for him. House was clearly fine with seeing and talking to him everyday. What made him so special and her so isolated?

She saw them appear from the hall that was on her left when they reached the open space that eventually led to the little hallway to Wilson's office. House was on Wilson's right, giving her perfect view of him.

Cuddy was walking closer, assuming he was following Wilson in his office when she heard him say goodbye and turned to go down the hallway she was coming from and stopped short when he saw her. "Were you up here looking for me, or Wilson?" It bothered her that even when he DID cross her path, on the rare occasion it happened, he talked as though he just saw her. Like nothing was wrong between the two of them.

"I was looking for you." He kept his eyes on her, waiting to hear what for. "Today is the next therapy session that we have to go to together and I was thinking, maybe we should ride together. Since, we'll be leaving at the same time, and going to the same place, it makes sense."

"Except for the part where, instead of leaving from there separately to separate places, we have to backtrack here to get my motorcycle so I can go home. 'Cause yeah, I rode my motorcycle here which means, if I agreed to this, which I'm not saying I am, you would have to drive. My point being, it doesn't make sense."

She expected him to walk away like he has been doing lately whenever he's done saying what he has to say. But this time, he stood where he was. Waiting for her to respond first. "House," she put her hand on his left shoulder and he looked at it until she continued. "We have to start somewhere. I don't mind coming back here to drop you off after."

He didn't want to agree. He knew that would mean if he gets angry he can't just storm out and go home. He would be stuck because she was his ride. Although, he had been left at places before and he managed just fine. He supposed he can do that again if it comes to it. He decided to give her this one.

"Fine, I'll come down to your office at 4:30. Should be done by then," he chose that moment to walk away. She thought she should have asked how it was going with his patient but, she didn't want to push it. She didn't want to give him a reason to take back what he just said. So, she walked to the elevator to go down to her office and made a conscious decision to leave him alone for the rest of the day.

It was 4:30, and she was shocked to see him walk into her office. She thought by the time 4:30 came around he would go on his own and claimed later that he had forgotten. But, he stood in her doorway looking impatient. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Without a word she got up and grabbed everything she needed to take home with her and walked out with him. She caught glances of him in the corner of her eye and he looked uncomfortable.

"You want me to get my car and swing by and get you here so you don't have to walk that far?" she asked, thinking about his leg.

"No, I'm fine."

They continued in silence the whole ride there, which was an awkward silence for both of them. However, she did take comfort in the fact that he agreed and actually ended up riding with her to Scott's office. Maybe he was trying more than it seemed to her looking in.

Scott smiled at them sitting next to each other as they waited to go in and motioned for them both to come inside.

They sat in the same spots they did the time before and Scott took his seat. "So, how have you both been since we met last?"

"You mean, the three of us, or separately?" House asked.

"Since we all met up," Scott corrected.

"Oh." Scott waited to hear more from House and got nothing, so looked at Cuddy and she answered with a "good."

"So, Greg, last time we spoke you said you were back at work. How is that going?"

"Aren't we supposed to talk about things that affect the both of us when we're together like this?" House asked, going around answering his question.

Scott looked at Cuddy confused and then back over at House. "The topic of work does include the both of you. How are you two getting along there?"

"Fine," House retorted.

Cuddy looked over at him shocked. "We're not FINE! You barely talk to me! I'm surprised I got you to agree to come with me over here instead of coming separately beca-"

"Don't say that in front of-"

"You two rode here together?" Scott was surprised himself and showed it, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"Great," House slouched in his seat and moved his cane over to the left side of his chair from holding it in his right hand and dropped it on the floor.

"How did that go?" Scott asked, directing it to either who was willing to answer first.

"It went fine," House said.

Scott looked at Cuddy to see what she had to say. "Yeah, it was fine."

"What did you guys talk about?" He watched as both their body language looked awkward. "You didn't talk about anything?" He saw that Cuddy didn't respond so looked at House. "The weather?"

"Why do people talk about the weather when there's nothing else? Maybe it works if you're on the phone with someone who is in a different state and doesn't know what it's like for you so asks. But, it doesn't make any sense when you're in the same city. Let alone same CAR. She doesn't need me to tell her the sun is out today," House ranted.

Scott looked from House to Cuddy, "you couldn't think of anything you wanted to say to him?"

"Sure. There's plenty of things to say to him. But, when I try to say things to him he leaves."

"He wouldn't have left this time. He couldn't. So, what held you back?"

Cuddy felt House turn his head to look at her and so she turned to look at him while trying to express her feelings. "I...guess, I was afraid." She watched as his eyes looked from wanting to hear how she would answer to soft, almost understanding, and a little relieved. She looked back at Scott but saw in the corner of her eye House didn't turn away. "I have this voice in my head telling me that no matter how hard we try, we might fail again. I REALLY don't want that."

Scott, who has heard this same fear from House looked at him, who was now looking down in his lap avoiding both of them. He didn't want to see the fear in Cuddy's face. The same that he felt, and he especially didn't want to see Scott's eager look, silently telling him to tell her he feels the same. So he avoided them both and became unresponsive.

Scott waited again, as Cuddy didn't elaborate any more on the subject, but hoped House would. He thought that if he was quiet, gave them enough time to think things over, they will open up themselves. But like before, they ended up all sitting in silence.

Until House spoke twenty minutes later. "Doesn't it break some confidentiality rule when someone tells someone else something that was discussed in say, oh, I don't know...a therapy session?" He looked up from his lap, which he was staring at this whole time in thought, back up at Scott.

Cuddy closed her eyes ashamed, knowing exactly what House was referring to. "I thought he knew."

"Am I missing something?" Scott cautiously interrupted.

"I told Wilson what House did to his leg and I brought it up because I was worried. It turned out, House never told him what happened so, he heard it first thing through me."

Scott looked interested. "Why didn't you tell Wilson? Isn't he your best friend?"

"I didn't TELL Wilson because he'll complain and yell at me for doing it in the first place; which doesn't do ANY good because I wasn't CONSCIOUS when it happened! So why put him through that...why put ME through that if I'm fine?"

Scott saw the exchanged looks between the two of them. Cuddy looked like she was pleading with him to be more open, while House looked sorry and ashamed. She wants to know what's going on with him. She wants him to tell the people who care about him what's going on. It was all over her face. Scott thought about their history he read about them, and what they have each told him separately, and what he is witnessing right now. Then Scott spoke. "You want to know what I see?"

"No," House retorted.

He ignored his answer and saw that they were both looking at him so continued with his thought. "I see two people who were drawn to each other the first time they met. Who, through the years, has grown so accustomed to each other it became hard to not be around one another. Who depends on each others opinions more than their own half the time. Who decides to take a step further in their relationship and they were happier than they ever were. But, things happened and it ended tragically. But still, despite that, found their way back into their lives because of that need. Only now, they are afraid to get close," Scott looked directly at House, "because they are afraid of that pain again. So they think keeping the other at arms length will keep them be happy. Save them from the unhappiness they felt when things fell apart, if it were to happen again. However, in the end, that distance will make them more miserable because they will be haunted with the thought of 'what if' when they get involved with other people and never TRULY gave each other another shot to see if things could be good again."

Scott looked at both of them and saw them stunned in silence. Neither arguing against what he just said. Then he thought of something else and continued. "When was the last time you two spent ACTUAL time together? I'm not talking about when you came to the hospital to see him, Lisa. Or, any work time. I mean, ACTUAL time. The last time you two were happy to be in each others company. No awkward tension, or angry feelings towards one another."

He watched them both look down in thought and almost instantly, he could tell they thought it at the same time. "I spent the night at her place-" House started.

Cuddy smiled, "you were hiding under the bed when I woke up."

As fast as it took to make them look happy, they looked sad. "I want you guys to do something for me before we meet next time." They both looked up at him. "Go out. Just the two of you. Away from the hospital, nothing like coffee, you guys are way passed that in the amount of years you've known each other. It should be dinner. One night, to start catching up."

Cuddy looked at House, not sure what to think of what was just suggested so looked for House's reaction.

He stared at Scott. "Like a date?"

"If you want to call it that, sure. But you have to do this. Before we all meet again in another two weeks. Make it for next Friday night. And when we do meet, I want to hear all about it." Scott smiled at them, "you're time's up."

House and Cuddy got up and left the office and drove back to the hospital together so she could drop House off without a word...


	10. Chapter 10

"I need your car tonight."

House came into Wilson's office ignoring his irritated look he was giving him trying to tell him that he was busy and doesn't want to talk. But, House wasn't busy, and wanted to talk so instead of leaving, he made himself comfortable on his couch, ignoring Wilson's mute wishes.

Seeing this, Wilson surrendered and shoved everything on his desk aside knowing the only way to get back to work was to just give in and find out what he wanted. "Picking up a hooker tonight?"

House squinted his eyes and looked up toward the ceiling in thought. "Mmmmm..you can say that." He looked at his friend, "although, Cuddy may not like the fact that YOU are calling her a hooker now."

Wilson now forgot about his work and was completely invested in this conversation. "You need it to pick up CUDDY? When?"

"Uhhh, TONIGHT. That's why I'm telling you I need it TONIGHT," he gave him a disappointed look. "I fear for you, Wilson. You're not as sharp as you used to be."

"I'm sorry this has come as a surprise to me. SURELY, I SHOULD have seen this coming," Willson said sarcastically that made House smile.

"So can I?"

"Of course! This is huge! Bring me home tonight, and you can take it from there."

House gave him a surprised look. "Now Jimmy-boy. You don't expect me to have sex with YOU before I go out with Cuddy, do you? That just doesn't seem-"

"All I'm asking is for a ride home," he responded, not letting it go on any further. "And pick me up in the morning for work. The ACTUAL morning. Not YOUR version of morning. I like to get things done before 10am."

House getting the go-ahead for what he wanted, and not wanting to be lectured about the time, got up and headed towards the door "see you later," he said over his shoulder and left.

When the clock reached 5, despite the fact that he still had work to do with his patient, decided his team could handle it, and he got ready to go home.

He stopped by Wilson's office before leaving the floor to get him. They took the elevator down together and walked through the lobby, House turning his head to look into Cuddy's office and saw that she was still there. When he talked to her earlier she said she'd be there until six. It seemed to be a busy day for her and when he asked if she wanted to put off Scott's little experiment, she said no. She still wanted to go.

Wilson saw House peeking in. "So, she's really letting you pick her up? She told you where she's living now?"

"No. She said that she's going to go over to my place and we leave from there together."

"So, you really DON'T need my car after all, do you?"

"Nope."

"But, you're going to take it anyway."

"Yep."

Wilson shook his head as they left the hospital and House took Wilson home and got ready for the dinner.

Cuddy got to House's apartment at 8:30. He got up from playing his piano and opened the door for her. "I'm sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my Mom to get to my place. She's watching Rachel for me," she took a breath, "and then when Rachel found out I was coming to see YOU she wanted to come with me so, I had to calm her down from THAT. Anyway, sorry."

House smiled at the fact that Rachel wanted to come. "It's fine. Not like I have reservations anywhere. There wasn't any rush." She watched him as he grabbed his cane that he had resting against the couch and his jacket that was hanging over it and motioned her to leave the apartment when he snatched up the keys that was sitting on top of his shelf next to the door.

When they got outside she recognized the car they were walking to. "Isn't that Wilson's car?"

"Yeah, it is."

"But, you have more than the motorcycle. Why did you need to-"

"Did you REALLY want to see that thing again?"

She recalled the last time she did. It was through her house. It was that moment when she realized since she came to work at the hospital, he has been using just his motorcycle. He didn't want to throw it in her face. "No," she said when it hit her she didn't give him an answer.

He opened the door for her and she got in with him closing it. She watched as he limped around the front of the car over to the drivers side and pawed at the handicap sign that he must of put in there earlier and hung it up. "What do you feel like?" he asked, not starting the car yet.

She wanted to tell him that she was hoping they could go to the pizza place they always went to. She never told him she went there on her date a couple months back. But, it wasn't a good experience. They weren't their best with each other yet, but, going somewhere that meaningful to both of them might help. So, she thought she'd tell him what she wanted and see if he suggested it. "I kind of feel like pizza, if that's alright."

He turned from looking straight ahead to look at her, studying her while thinking. "We can go to-" he drifted, not finishing what he was saying. Like he knew she knew what he meant.

"That would be good," she smiled at him with her closed mouth smile and the unmistakable twinkle in her eyes that only appears when she smiles at him.

He nodded his head once for a 'yes' and started the car and headed in the direction of what once was their pizza place.

They pulled up to it and avoided eye contact with each other. They both stared at the building with a sense of nostalgia overwhelming them both. House broke the silence. "So, should we go in or just sit here for a couple minutes so we can say we went?"

Cuddy smiled, "no. Let's go in."

"Okay." She unbuckled her seat belt, expecting him to do the same but instead saw him take the keys out of the car and shifted out without doing it.

"You didn't even have a seat belt on? House! What if we got in an accident?"

He bent down from standing up to grab his cane from the back seat and smirked. "Oh who would miss me?"

She scowled. She wanted to say 'I would you fucking idiot,' but held back. If he didn't care about his well being, then why give him the satisfaction of letting him know she does, AGAIN. Even though, that did make her worry about him more. He seemed as though he was making the effort to be better, he was HERE. But, that self-destructive side seemed to still be lingering.

When they walked in they saw the waitress that always waited on them when they came here as a couple. "Oh my God! It's been TOO long since you've been here! How are you doing? Here," she motioned for them to walk ahead of her. "Go to your spot. I'll send someone over to take your order. I'm not working that area tonight."

Cuddy smiled at her and House felt relieved. He didn't know if he had it in him to act the part as couple for the waitress all night. It was bad enough she was here so he had to look like he was enjoying himself in general. But, at least now, he doesn't have to hold conversations and be as caring as he was with her back then. He caught a glimpse of Cuddy before they both slid into their booth, both taking the sides they used to and she seemed happy to be there.

He was going to say he saw her here that night. He wanted to blurt it out ever since she said she wanted pizza. But, he held it back. It didn't seem like the right way to start out the night. And, he knew he'd have to explain himself to Scott after who would surely find out about it. That was motive enough to not speak about it.

They sat down and had their beers served to them. Not their usual drink of choice, but it's all the place had. Both their eyes were shifting around, taking in the familiar surroundings.

"Rachel really misses you," Cuddy spat out. She wanted to start with something and Rachel seemed like a safe topic.

House smiled and lifted his glass to his lips. "I miss her too," he took a sip and set the glass down.

Cuddy wasn't expecting to hear that as a response, nor did she expect to feel jealous of Rachel. She should be happy that he cared so much for her. She thought it was so cute when they were together. But now, it left her sad. However, she went on, knowing that it seems to get him talking and that is what they are supposed to be doing.

"She came into the hospital I worked at before once," she had his complete attention. He was looking into her eyes as she spoke. "And the nurses were watching her and one of them came and got me because they thought what she was doing was so cute and I had to go see. I went over there," she smiled at the memory. "No one knew the reason why she was doing this, but, I knew. She was playing with a cane."

House smiled. "She liked walking with mine when I was sitting. I was trying to teach her how to twirl it but-"

"She hasn't mastered that yet. But, she still tries."

Their pizza came and they both grew quiet, even after the waitress went away and they both took a drink of their beers to keep busy so they don't have to talk.

They were like this for a few minutes, quietly eating, then Cuddy decided to start up again. "So, how are you doing?"

"Fine," House answered, taking a bite.

"C'mon House. We have to at least TRY to talk about SOMETHING. How's your patient?"

House arched his right eyebrow. "Interesting."

"What?"

"YOU say, we have to talk about something. You can ask me anything. But, yet, you choose a topic that involves the hospital."

"There's nothing interesting about that. I just thought I might get an answer out of you if I did choose the hospital." Cuddy became annoyed that THIS he decides to analyze. Not his own behavior of not speaking to her.

Just to prove her wrong, he didn't answer. Instead he took another drink and she did the same.

A half hour into the seemingly very quiet date they started to order more drinks and loosen up a little bit. House cut himself off at three being that he was driving, and even that was pushing it, but, Cuddy kept ordering.

There was a question she wanted to ask him for a long time. But, she couldn't until she had enough to drink. She took a gulp of her latest refill and put it down. "House," she started.

"What?" he swallowed his bite he took a second ago.

"Do you miss her?"

His eyes got wide, eyebrows raised, he needed more to that question to give an answer. "Miss who?"

She wanted to say never mind, but, knew if she said that he wouldn't let it go so easily. "Your ex-wife. Dominika. Do you miss her?"

"What the hell kind of a question is that? Our marriage wasn't even real! Okay, well, it was, technically. But, it was just for a Green card."

"Just?"

He inhaled deeply and let it out through his nose, having closed his mouth, taking a second before answering which left her feeling nervous and wishing she never asked in the first place. "I miss...having someone there."

She looked down, feeling sad for him, now wishing she didn't bring it up for that reason and not her jealousy reasoning that seemed so valid a second ago.

"Do you miss YOUR ex? That moron?"

She looked up, ready to defend. "He wasn't a moron," she said flatly.

"He was."

"Maybe compared to you he was. Hell, anyone compared to you looks like a moron."

He knew that answer should make him happy. Make him even smile. But, there was one more question on his mind. "Did Rachel like him?"

Cuddy looked down at her plate with a sad expression. "She hated him. I feel awful for putting her through that." She looked back up at him and House wish she didn't. He hated seeing her sad and wanted to take the question back. "It was so hard when she asked why you weren't around anymore. Why you weren't coming to visit. She hated Ryan because she thought with him there, there would be no way YOU would come back. She BEGGED me to have you over," Cuddy's voice was straining and House looked down.

"Sorry. I'm sorry I got close to her," he looked up, "I'm sorry that she-"

"No, House," she put her left hand out and took his, "I'm glad you guys got along. It made things easier. You were able to spend the night...and she had a babysitter she actually LISTENED to. It was only bad when..." she drifted off, and she knew she didn't need to finish.

"Yeah, I know," he stared at her hand on his and she slowly took it away and his glance moved up to her face.

They didn't say much more for the next few minutes. After they finished their food House paid and they went back to his apartment.

He noticed when they got back to his place Cuddy wasn't walking in the straightest of lines and he quietly watched her in concern when she was heading to her car.

"Cuddy, maybe you shouldn't drive home," he stated.

She looked over at him. "No, House, I'm not ready for you to know where I live yet."

"I'm not saying that," he popped a Vicodin in his mouth. Something he was trying to avoid all night because he knew that's what started all their problems but his leg was killing him and couldn't take it anymore. "Call your Mom. Ask her if she can stay and watch Rachel overnight. You can sleep in the bed, I'll take the couch. You can leave early to change, do whatever you want to do, so no one at work will know you stayed. I just...don't think you should drive."

She thought it over a second and knew what he was saying made sense. "Okay," she said slipping her keys back in her purse. "But, I'll sleep on the couch. I don't want you to hurt your leg." She knew he would buy that as an excuse so she went with it. What she didn't want him to know is she didn't want to sleep in his bed. It has too many memories of the two of them and she wasn't sure how well she'd handle being in it again.

They went into his place and House disappeared into his bedroom when she called her Mom to tell her what was going on and that she will have to stay over. When she hung up minutes later, having to answer her Mother's many list of questions before hanging up, House appeared again with one of his t-shirts and a blanket off his bed. She looked at him from the angle of the couch that she was sitting on.

"Something to sleep in," he threw the shirt at her, "and something to sleep with," and tossed the blanket over the armrest. "Oh, hang on." She watched him disappear again and looked down at the shirt he threw at her and recognized it instantly as one of his shirts she had worn before when sleeping over. She remembered it being after their first night together. She wondered if he remembered too. She looked back up when she heard his limping down the hallway and he held a pillow from his bed and tossed it near the blanket.

"There. Everything is still where it is. Since..you know. So, if you need anything, get it. Leave when you want in the morning, and I'll see you later. Good night."

He turned to walk to his bedroom. "House," she called out to him and watched as he turned around, looking at her as though he was waiting for a question to be asked. "Thanks."

He stood up straight and looked at her sincerely. "You're welcome."

She thought back to when she went to his office back when she was trying to get pregnant and thanked him for giving her the injections. He said it in the exact same way. She wanted to go back to that. Before everything was so screwed up with them.

"That it?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said with a half smile.

"Okay, good night Cuddy," he slowly turned around, anticipating her saying something else.

"Good night, House."

House changed into his pajamas and popped more Vicodin, feeling relieved from all the pain that was building up that he was trying to hide and laid down, thinking of Cuddy in the next room and a few seconds later he closed his eyes.

Meanwhile Cuddy just changed into House's t-shirt and was situating the pillow and blanket he gave her and laid down with the blanket on top of her. She smelt him everywhere. She looked around the apartment. He was right, everything looked the same. She looked over at his piano, imagining him sitting at it, like she has seen countless times before, then thought how he was just in the next room. And even though, he did what he did and there was a time where she didn't feel safe with him because of it, all that seemed to fade. Right now, right there, she never felt safer. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Cuddy opened her eyes smelling so much like House she could have sworn he was right there next to her. But, he wasn't. She got up off the couch and looked at the time on her phone that read 7:30. She knew she should probably get going if she wanted to take a shower and change before heading to work but, she wanted to say goodbye to him.

She looked down the hallway and saw his bedroom door still closed, knowing the chances of him still asleep were high, but, she wanted to go in and see anyway.

She was walking closer, pulling at his t-shirt to try and make it seem longer. It barely covered all over underwear. She was actually pretty sure some was showing. But, she just left it. She knocked lightly and slowly opened the door poking her head in.

What she saw made her heart feel like it leaped into her throat.

He was on his stomach, his face was in the pillow, looking like there were no room for air and she saw an empty Vicodin bottle on the floor.

"House!" she ran to his bed. "House! House wake up!" she flipped him over and was startled at how lifeless he felt. "House!" she slapped him on the chest out of panic and saw him inhale deeply from the blow and opened his eyes.

"WHAT? WHAT IS IT?"

"Oh my God, House! I didn't think you were BREATHING! I saw your face in the pillow, your Vicodin bottle was on the floor," she motioned to it in hysterics, sitting on the side of the bed next to him, "and you felt so lifeless!" She looked at him and he saw the panic all over her face. "I HATE those things!" she pointed to the bottle. "What is it doing on the floor?"

"I took the last one last night. I must have threw it there when I emptied it."

He lifted himself with his bent arm and leaned over to see where she was pointing and she pushed him back down in anger. "Dammit House!"

He stayed where he was and watched as anger passed and relief flew over her. "Is...there, something you wanted?" he asked.

"No!" she let out a sigh calming herself back down and he sat back up leaning on his elbow again. "I was about to leave and just wanted to say thank you again. And, that I'll see you later at work."

"You're welcome." He kept hold of her eye contact. He looked sorry for scaring her but he wasn't saying it. He watched as she was looking all over his face. Her eyes shifting to every inch of it, and she walked over to the doorway and turned back, seeing him looking up to look at her, knowing that he was just looking at her legs. "I'm going to change and let myself out," she left the room not saying another word.

He stayed where he was, staring at the door that she shut behind her. Listening as she was shuffling around his apartment, then heard his front door open and shut. He sighed and let his elbow fall, that in turn, made his back hit the mattress...


	11. Chapter 11

"Good morning to all you impotent Doctors. Are you ready to experience work at the only place who will hire you? What are we all talking about?" House tossed his stuff into his office on the lounge chair and limped over to the head of the table furthest from the door.

Ignoring the insult he gave all of them Taub who sat at his right clued him in. "Adams was just telling us," he motioned to Adams who sat across from Taub, and House swung his head to his left to look at her, "that she doesn't believe in sleeping with someone after three dates. She doesn't think that's enough time to get to know a person first."

Adams was trying to avoid House's analytical stare at her as he pondered the information he was just given. She sat scowling at Taub. "That's not what I meant." She looked over at House who looked back at her welcoming an explanation. "It's different if you just want sex. But, if you want a RELATIONSHIP with someone, then to get to that step, three dates doesn't seem like enough time before you do that."

She watched as House squinted his eyes at her, further into thought. "Why haven't I fired you yet?"

"I see her point," Park chimed in.

He gave Park a disgusted look that made her awkwardly look away. "How can you see her point? You are always here! There's no time for you to have all these dates that you claim you need which tells ME neither of you are getting any." He looked from Adams to Park who sat on opposite ends of the table from each other. "No wonder you two are so moody. The only way you can spend a considerable amount of time with a guy before you have sex with them is if he..." he paused when a thought popped in his head, "is here."

"I don't want to have sex with you," Adams retorted.

House sat back in his chair. "Innntteeerrreessstttiiinngg."

"What? That I say I don't want to have sex with you?"

"That you say me, when there are two other guys in this room. Although," he looked at Taub, "I do see how you don't want him. He's all used up with all the cheating he has done and has two babies with two different women. By the way, are they 18 yet?" Taub scowled at him and he looked at Chase. "But, CHASE. He seems like every woman's dream. But you target ME."

"I said you because I DON'T. I in no way said I do."

"By pointing out that you don't means you at least thought about it." House sat back up and looked Adams up and down.

"Stop it," she said annoyed, with House grinning.

"House," he turned and saw Cuddy standing in the doorway. "Can I see you a minute?"

"We're a little busy with our differential."

"Impressive. Since you don't even have a patient yet," she stated holding a file in the air.

Taub turned his head between the two of them, "Mom seems mad," he commented looking back at House who was fixated on Cuddy's expression. He blindly grabbed his cane, keeping his eyes on her and started walking toward her. "For the record, I don't want to sleep with you either," Taub added.

House glanced at him "you say that now." He looked back at Cuddy and they walked into the hall together, House closed the door for his team to not overhear their conversation.

"Am I going to have to deal with a sexual harassment case because of you?" Cuddy asked when he faced her.

He swung his body to look back at Adams. "No, not because of me. Although, I may have to file one BECAUSE of her." He saw her unamused expression. "I'm sorry. Are you upset because I haven't harassed you yet?" He leaned forward to look behind her then looked straight at her chest. "Your ass looks nice in that skirt, and I want to use your breasts for pillows during my afternoon nap." He looked at her with a smirk, "better?"

"No. Here's the file on your patient," he made a face at her serious manner and took it uninterested. "And, I came here to say that I'm sorry for freaking out at you this morning."

"It's fine."

They held eye contact for a couple seconds and House noticed she was holding another file. "Who's that for?"

"Wilson," she said looking down at it then back up at House. "I have to give it to him on my way back down to my office."

"So, you haven't TALKED to Wilson yet?" he looked down avoiding eye contact which told her there was a reason behind asking her and it didn't seem good for her.

"No. Why?" she started to sound nervous.

"I, may have told him that you slept on my couch last night."

"House! The whole reason why I went home and changed was to avoid anyone knowing!"

"Oh come on! You really think I wouldn't tell WILSON!" he motioned his left arm behind him in the direction of Wilson's office. He leaned forward to get his face closer to hers."It's not like anything happened. And you OWED me this! You told him about my LEG!"

He stood straight again and she twisted her mouth, in annoyance knowing he was right. "Fine. But no more! What happens with us, we HAVE to try and keep between us."

"Fine," he nodded his head. "And Wilson."

"House!"

"He's going to know anyway! He'll drag it out of one of us."

She scoffed, "more like you'll just volunteer the information to him," she commented, clearly irritated.

"Maybe," she walked around him to go to Wilson's office and he turned around to watch her go.

"You can save your awkward looks, I know you know. House already told me he told you, and nothing happened." Cuddy closed the door behind her after letting herself in and put the file down on his desk and sat on his couch, looking at him for the first time and seeing an impressed expression across his face.

"Did you want anything to happen?"

She made a face at him. "It's just like you to ask that question."

"And it's just like YOU to go around answering it."

"Maybe...I don't know."

"Did you think about it at all?"

"I was in his place! The thought MAY have crossed my mind," she shifted uncomfortably on his couch, as a hint to him to drop it.

"What's this?" he picked up the file and opened it.

"It's a 40 year old woman. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer and wants you to look at her. She doesn't trust her own Doctor."

"Who diagnosed her?" he lifted his eyes off the file and on to her.

"Yeah. She wants your opinion, and if you agree with the diagnosis, she wants you to treat her."

"Okay," he closed the file, put it down and looked at her.

"Should I be at all concerned that House is..joking? Being his inappropriate self with me?"

Wilson's eyes widened. "He's talking. That's what you wanted wasn't it?"

"Talking, yes. But...not like this."

"But, Cuddy, he IS talking. He's not walking away from you anymore, right?"

"No, not just now. But, I can't help but think he's being inappropriate so he doesn't have to talk about things that MATTER. He's hiding behind what he's saying," she paused. "I don't want THAT."

Wilson looked down, knowing what she means. He silently hoped that isn't what House is doing. She sat there for another minute then stood up. "I should get back to work," and she walked out of his office...


	12. Chapter 12

Cuddy had been running around the hospital trying to catch up on what she missed when she had to get Rachel from school. A call from the principal saying that she called a teacher a name is never a good sign.

But, she couldn't deal with it until later. She had to get back to work then have 'the talk' with her when they got home and explain to her why what she did was a bad thing and hope she would learn her lesson and not do it again. But for now, all she could do is give her paper and pens to draw with if she wanted for the next hour until Cuddy was off work.

"Okay, Rach, I have one more thing to do then we can-" Cuddy looked up from the file she was holding and saw that she was talking to an empty room. "Rachel?" she looked in the bathroom and saw that was also empty.

Cuddy rushed out and over to the desk in the lobby, "did any of you guys see where Rachel went?" they all looked back at her blankly. "She's not in your office?" one of the nurses asked.

"If she were, would I be out here asking you?" she took a breath when she saw the looks on their faces. "I'm sorry. I just, need to find her."

"Maybe she's in the Clinic," the other suggested.

"Good, yeah," Cuddy went into the Clinic with the same frantic mannerism.

When she looked all over and didn't find her anywhere, she thought to call House to help her look.

She grabbed her cell phone and selected his number. After the second ring she heard it picked up, "hi, you've reached Gregory House. Sorry I missed your call. Actually, I'm not sorry, but you have tried to reach me in my few moments a day where I decide to do some light doctoring to keep the wrath of Cuddy off my back. Leave a message though, I MIGHT choose to get back to you."

"House, I know that's a fake message and you're really there. I need-"

"Beeeeeeeep," he interrupted.

She rolled her eyes and went into the elevator when the doors open. "I need to know if-" she looked at her phone when she heard her voice echo back. The elevator screwed up her signal and disconnected her. "Shit," she looked at the numbers change and saw that it lit his floor and walked toward the door before they even opened. She stormed down the hall and walked into his adjoining room, seeing that was empty and walked through the door that connects to his office, "House, I was calling because-" she stopped when she saw his chair swivel around and saw a sad Rachel facing her.

"Rachel! I was looking everywhere for you!" she came rushing to her side. "Why are you up here?"

"I wanted to see House," she said sadly looking down, which broke Cuddy's heart. "Where is he Mommy?" she looked back up and saw her eyes glisten with tears.

"Oh, honey," she smiled softly at her and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face that fell when she looked down. "He's working. He's busy with a patient right now."

"It's not fair. You get to see him all the time. I never get to anymore."

If she wanted to see House, she would have to make the effort to bring her to see him. "How about, tomorrow since it's teachers day at your school and you are off, I bring you by here for lunch. If he isn't busy, I'll ask him to join us," she knew what she was promising was a lot, and she just hoped House would agree.

Rachel squinted her eyes in thought, with Cuddy thinking she must have picked that up from him and slid off his chair. "Okay. Make sure he can come Mommy!"

"Okay, c'mon. I have one more thing to do then we can go home," she took Rachel's hand into hers and they walked out of House's office door together.

They quietly walked down the hall back toward the elevator when Cuddy thought she heard House's voice. She listened closely and it started to get louder. He was coming.

"You know, Taub, you should really check in on those daughters of yours. I mean, it's not like you are really doing ANYTHING for me. So, might as well make yourself useful to SOMEONE," she saw Rachel twist herself around, figuring she also heard House's voice and saw that he appeared around the corner from behind them. Rachel fought her way free from Cuddy's grasp and ran the opposite way of the elevator. Cuddy turned around to see Taub and House standing near the bench at the end of the hallway. "House!" Rachel screamed when running toward him.

House didn't move. Just watched as she came at him. Cuddy saw that once she reached him, she grabbed his legs to hug him. She tilted her head and smiled when she saw Rachel's right arm wrapped around House's left thigh, but her left arm held onto the back of his knee. She knew what part of his right leg hurt him.

House looked down at her and lightly touched her back with his left hand. He sat on the bench and Taub watched this interaction with shock on his face. He saw that once sitting, Rachel sat at his left, where there was a little bit of bench room and House welcomed her company.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" House asked, arching his left eyebrow at her.

"Yes," Rachel was kicking her legs in the air with a smile on her face.

"Why are you here?"

"They called Mommy to come get me."

"Why?"

"I called my teacher a moron."

Taub's eyes widened, standing on the right of House. Now seeing why House connected with her.

"Is she?" House went on with his questioning.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she said that I had be partners with this guy who sits next to me. And I didn't want to. I knew how to do what we were doing. It was EASY. So, I told her, 'I'm not a moron. I can do it myself. Maybe you're the moron who needs the extra help, but I don't.'"

House's eyes squinted and his mouth twisted. "I think maybe you are the moron. Your teacher may have had a point. You may have needed to be partners with the kid after all."

"House!" Cuddy screamed out, intervening in their conversation.

She heard Rachel giggling when House looked at Cuddy like he didn't know what he did wrong. "I'm not a moron!" she stated, her mouth forming the biggest smile Cuddy had seen in months.

"But you are," House started, looking back at her. "See, you SAID you called your teacher a 'moron.' But what you REALLY did is say 'MAYBE you're the moron.' If you weren't the true moron in this scenario, then you would know what the difference was, and you would know what I'm talking about."

Rachel laughed in response. "Okay, Rachel, c'mon, you saw him, let's go home," Cuddy said reaching for her hand, not being able to take the insults she was getting as well as Rachel was.

"No Mommy! I don't wanna go!"

House's head turned in the direction of Taub when he heard his pager go off. "What is it?" House asked.

"Looks like Chase is done with the lab work. We still don't know what's wrong." Taub watched as House looked straight ahead down the hallway and breathed deeply through his nose and looked back at Rachel who was looking at him with blotchy eyes that happened in her argument with Cuddy to stay there when he and Taub were talking.

"Sorry, kid," House leaned on his cane and stood up. "Looks like I gotta go," he walked around Cuddy who was now standing near Rachel and looked back at her who was looking at him still sitting on the bench. "Gotta go save a life. He's an even BIGGER moron than you," he smirked, "so you know, he comes first."

Rachel watched House turn and walk back down the hall with Taub until she couldn't see him anymore. "Come on, Honey, let's go home," Cuddy said softly, taking her hand which she now accepted. As they walked down the hallway Cuddy decided that they had to figure something out. If not for them, then at least for Rachel...


	13. Chapter 13

House stared at Scott when he took a seat for his private session with him. "How are things going for you, Greg?"

"I hate when you do that. Like I'm just one day am supposed to magically say 'oh things are just GREAT' and I what, walk out of here cured?"

"No, not at all. Not, that quickly anyway. I know you want to be okay. From what I've read in the notes Nolan gave me, and, from what I see myself since we've met. You're making the effort, and that's always a good thing."

House scowled at his optimism. He wasn't in the mood.

Scott made himself comfortable. "Greg, what's on your mind?"

House looked to his left and started bouncing his cane on the ground with his right hand. Scott didn't push him to answer. He watched as House continued, and after four more bounces, stopped, letting go of it. "I saw Rachel today at work," he said, still looking at his left.

"Rachel, Lisa's little girl?"

House snapped his head in Scott's direction, "have you ever heard me talking about any other Rachel?" He watched as Scott didn't react to his outburst. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Why was she there?"

House smirked, "she got in trouble for calling her teacher a moron," his face lit up, "actually, she DIDN'T do it as she said, she-" he stopped himself. "Never mind. That's not important. Cuddy had to pick her up from school and bring her to the hospital until she was off."

"And you went to Cuddy's office to go see her when you found out she was there?"

"No, she came to me."

"Were you happy to see her?"

"Yes."

"Then, what's the problem?"

"I...don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can start things up with Cuddy. I don't know if I want to fix things with her," House held his eye contact and Scott saw a man looking back at him who was lost. Who was looking probably for the first time in his life, to be told what to do. To be told whether he was making a mistake or not.

"What is making you feel this way all of a sudden? Is it because of Rachel?"

"Yeah, it's exactly because of her."

"But, from what you have told me before, and how you just looked talking about her just now, I can tell you care about this little girl. So why are you using her as a reason to not make things work?"

"Because, I know how important a Father is to a child. How important it is to have them there. I hated my bastard of a Father. He was mean and abusive, and I was mad at him for not being like the other Fathers I had seen when they would come and pick their kids up from school..." Scott waited until he was done, but he saw that he drifted off in thought, not sure when he would continue so, Scott spoke up.

"You are comparing yourself to your Father? Greg, it's different. You aren't Rachel's Father-"

"I KNOW THAT! But, DAMMIT, she LOOKS at me as though I AM! I CAN'T do that to her! I can't not have things work with Cuddy and Rachel HATE me for not being there the way she WANTS me to be!"

Scott stayed quiet this time. He sat and watched as House calmed his breathing, before continuing explaining how he feels. "If I try and make it work, and it doesn't...if Cuddy leaves again, and we don't see each other anymore, I don't want Rachel to think bad of me. To hate me like I hated him." Scott inhaled and let it out slowly. He let a couple minutes go by, and when he saw that he was lost in his own thoughts, Scott asked him a question. "Why do you think Cuddy will leave again?"

"Because they all do! I can say that I can try and NOT piss her off again. But, the chances of me doing that are pretty high. That's what people do in my life, they leave! All but Wilson. Stacy left, Lydia left...Dominika left. It's only a matter of time."

"Tell me about Stacy. She came back, what happened that made her leave again?"

"Uh, she was MARRIED. She chose her husband."

"So, she never really fully committed herself to you again when she came back did she?" House didn't answer, he just sat quietly and waited to see where he was going with what he just said. "Lydia, well, you haven't talked much of her, but what I remember was, she was married also, was she not?" House continued to stare. "And Dominika, she only left you because she was trying to do you a favor. She wanted to make you happy after you did her the favor of trying to make her happy. So, really, the two people that left you as you claim, didn't have the same feelings-no, not same feelings; they did care about you. Just not the way you did with them. Or, not enough to where, they were ready to jump when you were. But Cuddy-she IS ready to take that jump. She is here every time I ask her to be because SHE wants to make things work just as badly as you."

Scott gave House another chance to speak, but he was still looking at him, listening. "This is different, from all the women you just listed. Cuddy DID come back. She cares, Greg. So, with looking at it that way, can you honestly tell me you still want to give up on her?"

House looked over at the chair that is used by Cuddy during the sessions they are together while taking a minute before saying anything, "no, I'm not," he answered.

House grabbed his cane that was leaning on the right side of his chair, leaned on it to help himself up and walked out of the office without another word twenty minutes before his time was up...


	14. Chapter 14

Cuddy's hand hovered over House's door knob to his office, seeing that he was at his computer actually looking like he was working, which made her debate on going in or not. It's not everyday he actually listens when she tells him to work. But, this has been on her mind a while and felt it couldn't wait. So, she put her hand on the knob and turned it, walking in and closed the door behind her.

"House," she said getting his attention, watching as he turned in his chair, away from his computer and took his glasses off. She sat down and saw what was on the screen. He had Taub's Facebook page up, having hacked into it, no doubt, and was looking through his friends list. She couldn't believe she was so gullible to think he was working.

"What? Oh, hang on," he turned his head and reached over the keyboard to close the window before Taub came into the room to see what he was doing. "I had to do this. You see, we aren't friends on here and Taub has been saying he's been seeing this woman on here who is fine with him and all his babies. I need to see if she really exists or if he's lying to me," he shifted his eyes over to look at her. "That's all I'm doing, I swear," once he got the window closed he turned back around to face her. "What's up, boss?" he smirked at her.

"I..." she hesitated as she looked at him looking at her with his eyes wide in anticipation. He seemed eager and that was throwing her off. "I have to ask a favor of you."

"Oh! Is that what we're calling work now? Because if that's the case, I'd rather put off this 'favor' for another day. If you don't mind," he swiveled back to face his computer.

"House," she sounded irritated which got him to turn back.

"I'm, thinking of adopting again."

House stared blankly, not knowing why she was telling him. "I don't get it. What's the favor? You want me to go knock someone up for you? You want your baby to have my eyes?"

She expected a reaction like that from him, but, she couldn't help but feel a little hurt as to how open he was about talking about having sex with someone else to her. "No. The favor I need from you is to talk to me. No jokes, no snarky remarks, and tell me if you seriously think this is a good idea or not."

"Why me?"

Cuddy sighed, wondering that same question before she came up to his floor and told him the same rationalization she came to, to explain it to herself.

"Because, when I was trying to get pregnant you knew. You were seeing the flaws in the guys that I wasn't seeing because I was so eager and just wanted it to happen so badly I didn't care. But, you kept me grounded. Showed me, LITERALLY, the mistake I was making with my choices of guys. And when I was trying to adopt the first time, you were mean and UNBEARABLY cruel with your insults all day on the day it mattered most. But, when things fell apart, you were there. You came to me, in your own way, to check up on me to make sure I was okay," House's eyes shifted around knowing she was talking about when they kissed, and she waited until he looked back at her before continuing. "And then I got Rachel," she let out a laugh, "at first I didn't want you anywhere near her. But, then, we happened. And you ended up being great with her. And lastly, I'm coming to you..because, dammit, you're House. You speak the truth whether it'll be hurtful or not. I need that, if I'm making a mistake, I know that you will tell me without worrying about hurting my feelings," she paused, "I know this because you've done it PLENTY of times before," she commented sarcastically.

He winced at the last statement. The last thing he ever wanted to do these days was hurt her. But here she was in front of him, saying he's done it a lot. Not like it was news to him. He knew what he was doing during all those times. But now, he felt ashamed. Thinking if maybe he had treated her differently, they wouldn't be in the mess they are in right now.

House took a minute to take in everything she just told him, and started with a question. "What made you decide to think about this?"

Cuddy felt relief that he asked that. He was talking to her like she had hoped. "Rachel. I want her to have someone close to her, someone she can spend time with. Someone besides me."

House pushed the urge to say 'she can have me' aside and went on. "But, do YOU want another kid? Are you up for...having to possibly find a temporary replacement because you can't be at work because the kid takes up too much of your time? That you have to sacrifice one part of your life for the other."

"I have thought about it. And, I think I do. I think I want someone else in the house. To extend what I already have. Not that Rachel isn't enough. She's GREAT. But, it's because she's so great that has got me thinking that maybe I want to do it all over again."

House pushed the hurt feeling that came back away, and focused on HER and buried everything he was feeling deep down inside of him, and he went on. "THINK is different than wanting. If you THINK you do, then don't do it until you KNOW."

"House," she said softly.

"What?"

"You still haven't told me...do you think this would be a mistake?"

He thought about that question before answering. He looked into her eyes that were looking back into his, waiting. Wanting to hear what he was thinking. "I don't know what you want me to say-"

"I want you to tell me what YOU think. Instead of trying to get a straight answer of how I feel about it, I'm asking you, how do YOU feel about it?"

"I think...it's a mistake if you don't know you truly want it. If you take in everything, every aspect about it and you still WANT to do it, then no, it's not a mistake. If you have too many questions in your head about it, then you should hold off and wait a little longer. Because then, it might be the wrong choice."

He hoped she wouldn't see through the fact that he was lying to her. But, he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to tell her he thought she was making a mistake and he didn't want her to do it. He didn't want to tell her to not do it because then she'll be too busy and have to leave because of his own selfish reasoning of wanting her close. He lied because he DID want her to be happy. And if this is what makes her happy then he is going to have to deal with it the best he could.

His eyes followed her as she sat up from the chair she was sitting in across from him. "Thank you, House," she smiled and turned to walk to the door and he watched every movement.

"Cuddy," he called out when seeing her reach for the door knob. She half turned her body to face him. "Are you going to do it?"

She twisted her mouth in thought, "maybe." She turned away and opened the door and closing it behind her when she walked out.

House stayed where he was, watching her walk in the direction of the elevator through his glass walls, feeling like he had just gotten replaced by a possible soon-to-be-adopted baby...


	15. Chapter 15

House had Cuddy on his mind ever since she left his office. He hated that she came to him. Why did she HAVE to tell HIM? He knew why, she gave him the list of reasons. But why couldn't she have gone to Wilson for this one?

He avoided her all day. He did things without asking to not have to go into her office. Not that it was all that different. He did things behind her back all the time. But that was just to annoy her. This was because he didn't want to see her. Because he knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to hold in how he really felt.

He grabbed his backpack, jacket, and helmet to leave for the day. It was earlier than he probably should be leaving, but, he didn't care. Being there just made him angry.

He slipped passed Wilson's office unnoticed, seeing that his door was partly open. He usually has it closed, but knew he was probably waiting to see if House would pass him and try to catch him. He could tell when Wilson was starting to be overly concerned about him. He was so obvious about wanting to 'run into' him. His door open was always a tell for House. Luckily, he got into the elevator safely, not noticed by his friend.

When the elevator opened its door reaching the lobby House walked out and tried to go back in when he saw Cuddy step out of her office to leave but it was too late. The doors closed and he was spotted.

"House," she said with a half smile when she saw him.

He twisted his mouth in frustration. "Hi," he looked straight ahead and tried to limp passed her.

"House, are you alright?" she slid up next to him and continued to walk alongside of him.

"Yeah, fine, going home," he smiled with his eyebrows raised, hoping she would catch on that he didn't want to talk.

They walked silently out of the lobby together and the longer she was with him, the harder it was for him to keep quiet. He saw his motorcycle in the corner of his eye and looked down, ashamed for what he was just about to do. "I think it's a mistake," he said quietly.

"What? NOW you think it's a mistake?" she asked, her tone irritated, and grabbed his right arm to keep him where he was. "Why do you think NOW it's a mistake?" His eyes were shifting all around her, not wanting to look directly at the angry expression on her face that he was seeing in the corner of his eye. "House, LOOK at me!"

"IT'S A MISTAKE OKAY?" He shouted out, now deciding to look at her. "I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A MISTAKE! The first time you MENTIONED it I thought it was!"

"So, you LIED to me?"

"EVERYBODY LIES! That's NOTHING new!"

He leaned forward on his cane to close the gap between them and she saw his angry expression mirrored in her own. "Why? Why did you lie to me the ONE time that I wanted the truth from you?" she hissed.

"Ha! The one time? Yeah, sure, that's the ONE time you wanted the truth! I only told you what you WANTED to hear! You don't want to hear this do you? Would you have LIKED to hear first off that you were making a terrible decision? That adopting is an idiotic idea?"

"So, you think RACHEL was an idiotic idea?"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!"

There were people of both employees and patients walking by them. Some trying not to look, but others not being able to help it. Cuddy noticed them for the first time.

"So, you just think that adopting another baby is a bad idea?" she asked, her tone dropping in volume.

"YES!" he said still shouting, not caring who looks.

"Why?"

"Because you got lucky with Rachel! You didn't screw her up, you might not be so lucky next time!"

He saw tears forming in her eyes with that stab at her parental skills. "Screw you, House," she hissed and stormed over to her car, leaving him standing where he was.

He was pissed at himself for saying the words, but he just couldn't get himself to admit to her the REAL reason why he was against it.

He was afraid of losing her.

But, by the look she just gave him, he was afraid he might have already...


	16. Chapter 16

House opened both doors of Cuddy's office the next day. He walked through, stopping at her desk. "I need a patient."

She sat back in her chair, with her arms crossed over her chest. "That's all you have to say to me?"

He squinted one eye, and twisted his mouth, looking to his right, "mmmmm..yeah," his expression turned serious and looked back at her. "So, do you have one, or, should I go home?"

"UNBELIEVEABLE," she got off her chair and walked around her desk and around him which caused him to turn to face her as she paced the empty space of her office floor.

"What? That I came in here asking for a patient instead of hiding trying to avoid getting one? That does seem unbelievable doesn't it? Maybe I should just-go-" he started walking passed her and she darted a dirty look at him, while slamming the doors closed and walked back around her desk, standing near her chair, which in turn, made him swing back around.

"YOU aren't going anywhere! What gives you the RIGHT to say what I'm choosing to do is a mistake?"

"Oh? So this is why you are pissy? Uh, maybe it's because," he leaned on his cane to get closer, "YOU ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT! You're the one who came to ME!" He put his left hand on his chest, "I didn't come to ask you what you were doing, if anything was new with you," he lowered his hand back to his side, "no, you did that ALL by yourself! And now you're mad because I didn't say what you wanted? Why didn't you go to WILSON? Why me?"

"I told you why you!"

"PSH, YEAH. 'Cause I tell the truth whether it hurts you or not. Well GUESS WHAT, CUDDY! THAT'S THE TRUTH! So there! You got it!"

She stared at him blankly. She had nothing to say back and it pleased him. He was going around saying how he really felt, and this might get him out of this situation. She'll throw him out, and then there will be some avoidance and somewhere along the line, they will be talking again. He never knew how they manage to get to that point, every time it does, but, nevertheless, it happens.

"You're an insensitive bastard!"

"That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

She stood leaning over her desk, too angry to sit.

"No! I wanted you to tell me what you thought, that part is true. But, what I ALSO wanted was for you to just-BE. I wanted to share something with you that I'm considering to INCLUDE you! I wouldn't have cared if you said that to me when I asked instead of LYING to me about it. It's the fact that you DID lie that pisses ME off!"

"Why? Why include me?"

"Oh, come on, House! I know you're not that stupid! I'm TRYING to look past what you did to me! I'm trying to move forward with this-WHATEVER the hell this is! But it's like you keep fighting it. Like you fight against EVERYTHING! I don't even know WHY I try! You want me to back off? FINE! I will! You are the most egotistical man I've ever met..who doesn't BELIEVE in God, but thinks he IS God!" he watched as her face was turning into a darker shade of red in each statement. "You aren't even close! All you are is just some MISERABLE Doctor who seeks revenge for what happened to him on EVERYONE! You are a burden! To me, to POOR WILSON! You think he's happy in this friendship? Having to constantly BE there for you? To make sure you haven't OVERDOSED on pain pills? Do us all a favor House and LEAVE!"

She scowled at him as he took everything in. He knew she would yell at him, maybe call him a name or two, which she did. But, what he wasn't expecting to hear was he was burden to the two people he needs the most. He heard something from her like this once before, but, the fact that she stated it again hurt him. That told him that even though they went through a relationship, and, out of one, those feelings she has still lingered.

"Fine! You want me to leave so badly, I'll leave! I'm done! You don't have to EVER worry about this MISERABLE EGOTISTICAL BASTARD EVER AGAIN!" He straightened his cane out in front of him and used it to swipe over the top of her desk and pushed everything off, and limped out, running into Wilson who was standing next to Cuddy's door, witnessing his explosion but not Cuddy's.

"House what's-"

"Don't worry about it DOCTOR WILSON! You don't have to worry about me anymore either!" he brushed past him and limped as fast as he could out the lobby door, leaving everyone staring after him agape.

Wilson turned his head to look into Cuddy's office when he saw House walk out the door with his mouth open and slowly walked in. "What...just happened?" he asked so shocked his voice cracked.

Cuddy took a long deep breath, looking ashamed, slumping into her chair, ignoring all the contents from the top of her desk on the floor around her. "I didn't mean to take it that far. He hurt me, I wanted to hurt him back."

"Looks like you accomplished that." Wilson's eyes were wide when he plopped onto her couch, looking straight ahead, still in shock. Then, he turned his head when a thought came to him. "Why did he say I don't have to worry about him?" Cuddy gave him an even more ashamed expression than she showed already. "Never mind. Maybe I don't want to know. I'll-call him later."

They both looked at each other with worry on their faces when they heard a screech of motorcycle tires pulling out of the parking lot...


	17. Chapter 17

House sat on his couch, waiting for the pounding on the door to stop. He knew who it was by the pattern. "House! Dammit, open up! I'm not leaving!" Wilson yelled through the door.

House rolled his eyes and knew what he said was true. He'd been pounding for five minutes already and showed no signs of slowing down. "I'm fine Wilson! Go home!" he shouted out, still sitting on the couch.

The pounding stopped, having heard House speak for the first time, showing some acknowledgement. He hoped that made him go away. "I don't believe you," Wilson replied in a more calm voice, but still loud enough for House to hear. "Let me see you first."

House grabbed his right thigh to ease the pain while he got up and limped to the door opting to not take his cane with him, being it was only a few steps. He turned the knob and yanked the door open. "There. See, you saw me," House smiled at him, "can you go home now?"

Wilson looked at him stunned that he looked okay. "You're fine," he said more as a statement instead of a question.

"Yeah, I told you I was."

"Then why-"

House walked to his couch, not anticipating the pain he felt when he didn't take his cane and needed to sit. Wilson walked through the door and closed it behind him, taking a seat opposite House on the couch. Wilson saw a half empty bottle of Scotch on the coffee table and Wilson pointed to it, "you drank all of that and you are still, you're like this," he motioned to House.

"Yeah, apparently my tolerance for it is higher now that I turn to it in my moments of need," he stated in a joking way.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "House, don't joke. Are you seriously okay? I tried calling you and-"

"Yeah, I know, I ignored you." House reached for the bottle and took a swig of it.

"That's comforting to know that as I was trying to get a hold of you, worried, you were staring at the phone not answering," Wilson said sarcastically.

"Did you really expect anything else?"

Wilson watched as he placed the bottle on the coffee table. "Are you coming back to work tomorrow?"

"I don't know."

"What did you mean when you said that I don't have to worry anymore?"

House turned his head and smiled at his friend. "Doesn't matter. You showed up, which tells me that no matter what stupid thing I say to you, you will come around...which ALSO tells me she may have been lying about herself feeling that way."

"She told you she didn't care?"

"Mmmmm... in so many words, yeah."

Wilson sat there feeling amazed, surprised, and a little proud of House who had seemed like he had taken a beating today and the worst he did was drink half a bottle of scotch. Then, he realized the day was still young, having Cuddy let him off at 1:00 specifically to go check on House and to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Wilson started to not want to leave. "House, mind if I stay here a while?"

When he saw that instead of answering, House grabbed the remote that was on the cushion in between the two of them and put on the TV, Wilson sat back on the couch getting comfortable.

After work Cuddy had reached Scott's office and they sat there without speaking for fifteen minutes. "If this is an inconvenience for you, I can just leave. I don't think he is coming," Cuddy told Scott about House.

"No, it's fine. If he doesn't show up, and you have something you'd like to talk about, we can now. You don't have to wait until your next session. But, may I ask, why do you think he's not coming instead of just running late?"

"Oh, well we...had a fight," she answered waving her hand to make it seem like not a big deal.

"What started the fight?"

She sighed, knowing she should tell him, and that it might actually make her feel better if she talked to someone about it. "It started with me wanting to see what he thought about me thinking about adopting another baby-"

"Another baby? Have you decided you're going to go through with it?"

"That's why I went to House," Cuddy said, her voice raised slightly not because she was angry but because she was stating her side. "I wanted to see if he thought it would be a mistake or not?"

"And did he say it was?" Scott sat up in his chair, invested into this conversation.

"At first he didn't. He listed factors I have to think about before I do it. Reminding me how much time the baby will take...how I might have to leave work for a while, because that's what I did with Rachel. He was basically telling me that if I think it will make me happy given all the things he listed then I should do it," Cuddy paused and looked to the side in thought, and Scott waited. "But then, later, he said it WAS a mistake."

"He brought it up?"

"Yes. I saw him as I was leaving. He just, blurted it out. We kind of got into it. There was some yelling, but I was frustrated with HIM because he couldn't tell me that to begin with and HE was yelling because he was trying to get his point across...anyway, it carried on into today. I wanted him to apologize and he didn't. And I might have," Cuddy looked ashamed, the same way she did with Wilson, "said some things I shouldn't have. He hurt me, so I wanted to hurt him."

Scott was quietly taking in the story, looking at Cuddy as though he was thinking about all that she just told him and she nervously waited for what he was thinking. "Should I leave, and we continue later?" she asked, trying to break the anxiety in waiting that was starting to become too much for her.

"No, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about Greg's character. What I've learned and picked up on since I've known him. Although, it's nothing compared to how long YOU have known him, there is ONE thing, a KEY thing that I see in him that might help with this."

He paused to see if Cuddy would say anything, but when he saw her look back at him waiting to hear what that thing was, he continued. "He tries to make something about one thing to hide what he is really feeling."

"He does that all the time."

"Exactly. So, how DID you tell Greg that you were thinking of adopting?"

"Iiiii..." Cuddy thought back to that moment. "I told him that I was thinking about it for Rachel. That, I wanted her to have someone around besides me. And that I thought it would be nice to have someone else in the house."

"Hmm," Scott scooted even further forward on his chair, "do you think, that MAYBE Greg felt left out? By hearing you say that you wanted to adopt again so Rachel can have someone besides you and so that you can have someone else also...he felt like he was being pushed out of the picture? That in a sense, you were replacing HIM, where he used to be. He was there to be with you, but, he also bonded with, and started to be there for Rachel."

"Oh my God," Cuddy was stunned. "Why didn't I think of that?" Scott saw that her eyes were starting to get glossy with tears. "He had to of thought that way...and I kept pushing it on to him."

"I think," Scott started softly, "you should try and talk to him. See if that IS how he feels. Of course, he may not admit it, but, maybe if you suggest that YOU think he feels it, it might make things easier."

"Yeah," Cuddy nodded in agreement, "I'll talk to him. I'll call him tonight."

"Can I advise you go over there to see him? It might show him you care more."

She nodded again and got up to leave still feeling stunned by the revelation that Scott pointed out to her. How could she have not thought that? She walked out, not caring that there were still a few minutes left if she wanted it. Her main focus right now was getting to House...


	18. Chapter 18

Cuddy listened through House's front door before knocking to see if she could hear him moving around in there. But, she didn't hear anything.

She would have thought that maybe he wasn't there but, she saw his motorcycle parked next to the empty spot that she took so knew he was somewhere behind the door. She placed her hand lightly onto it, while closing her eyes feeling like THIS time, this fight was all her doing. If Scott had it right, then she pushed him into this hiding. She felt responsible, so it was up to her to pull him out.

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She waited a few seconds and knocked again. Still nothing.

She put her ear up to the door and that's when she felt it open.

"You spying on me?"

"House," she stood there sheepishly, taking in how he looked. His hair was messed up even more than usual and his eyes looked puffy like he may have been sleeping. "Did I wake you up?"

He rubbed his eyes, "yeah, I guess you did." He shook his head and widened his eyes to feel more awake. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

She watched as he let his head drop in thought and turned it to the left. "Wilson! You still here?" he shouted out, leaning to the left listening for an answer. "Wait a minute." He closed the door on her and he walked around his apartment looking for his friend who he vaguely remembered being there when they both passed out from all the drinking they did together.

He opened the door a couple minutes later. "He must have woken up before me and gone home." He sighed while looking at her. "So you say you want to talk?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to yell at me again? Demand more opinions from me?"

"No."

He stood in his doorway thinking over her answers to his questions and opened the door wider and motioned her to come in. She walked in and closed the door behind her when she saw he walked over to his couch clutching his leg. "So what do you want to talk about?"

He kept his eyes on her still rubbing his leg and she sat down on the couch and let out a closed-mouth deep breath. "I want to talk about...everything."

"Everything? Why the sky is blue? Why there are so many different languages in the world?" Why.." he looked frustrated down at his leg, "why some people have to get their muscle removed and some people don't?" He looked back up at her while reaching for his pill bottle in his pocket, popping a few not being able to stand it any longer. "THAT kind of everything?"

He watched as she scanned his face with a sad expression. "I want to talk about, how, if you were ANYONE else, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I wouldn't be sitting on a couch owned by the guy who tore apart my home, and my LIFE nearly a year ago."

He shifted uncomfortably, and she grabbed his right hand in both of hers, sensing that he was about to get up. He looked at her hands and then back up at her.

"But BECAUSE that guy is you...and YOU have been...a part of my life whether I liked it or not, whether I WANTED it or not, you have been there."

He glance turned to one of a child who knew he was about to be scolded, and looked down into his lap when she continued.

"I tried hating you. For a LONG time I did. Every time I'd see a guy walking with a cane, for the obvious choice, or, someone tall..or hell, even had BLUE eyes like you, I'd hate you all over again. And I'd hate THEM for reminding me of you! The fact is..I don't know if I will FULLY get over what you did to me that day."

She paused as she saw him squeeze his eyes shut as though he was angry with himself but stayed mute, so she went on. "BUT...I hate myself for this because I'd rather NOT need you in my life..it would be so EASY to just walk out and never look back and start a new life with a husband..and the whole happy life that everyone at one point or another envisioned for themselves to have.. But, I CAN'T do it. I tried it. I THINK I would have gone on to be happy, or at least, convince myself I was happy and maybe that would have worked. But, when Wilson called me, and he was worried about that tumor in your leg, I was terrified. It was THEN that I knew I needed you. I wanted you to stay alive, which is why I went to go see you that day. That started..all of THIS."

"You shouldn't have come that day," he stated quietly.

"Did you not WANT me there?" she asked, letting go of his hand, taken aback and angry.

"Of COURSE I WANTED you there. But, you shouldn't have come," he looked up at her with pain in his expression. "You SHOULD have stayed away. I don't DESERVE to have you back in my life after what I DID to you. You said yourself that you don't think you'll ever fully forgive me for what I did, so why even TRY?"

"Are you saying that YOU don't want to try?"

"I'm SAYING I CAN'T PROMISE I WON'T BLOW UP LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

Cuddy put her left hand over her mouth in shock and he saw her eyes glistening, filling with tears which just made him feel worse. "Do you think you will?" she asked when she removed her hand.

"No I don't THINK I WILL! I don't WANT to! But why get close again, if I'm just going to feel hurt and betrayed every time I see you with some OTHER guy?"

"House, is that why you did it? Because you thought I was WITH the guy from that day?" she shook her head no as if trying to show him instead of tell him he was wrong, "my sister tried to set me up with him to try and get over YOU. I wasn't planning on seeing him after that."

House looked at her with horror on his face. Not wanting to believe what he just heard. "I saw you with him. I saw you laughing. You were HAPPY," he said more to himself, trying to convince himself what he saw was true, instead of telling her.

"Yeah, I was laughing, and happy, because I was telling him a story about Rachel..and you," Cuddy started to feel uneasy about the fact that all it took was that to set House off and started to believe that maybe he WAS right. Maybe she should have stayed away. "House, I think..I should, get Rachel. She's over at my sister's and I should...go.." she motioned to the door while reaching for her purse that she set down on the floor next to the couch. She needed time to process what she just realized and couldn't do it there.

He didn't respond or say goodbye. He just let her leave. When he heard her close the front door behind her, he replayed what he saw that day in his head. She was telling a story about him and Rachel. He kicked the coffee table with his left leg that scraped against the floor away from him, angry at himself for the mess he made...


	19. Chapter 19

House decided to go to work the next day despite what happened between him and Cuddy when she showed up. The fact was, he needed work. He needed it to keep him sane, and if that meant seeing Cuddy, taking that step backward making him a little insane in the mix, then so be it. It had to be done. And, Wilson was there. He always loved how he picked food out for lunch he didn't know he wanted until he saw Wilson choose it.

That was a big enough reason to put himself through torture with Cuddy.

He reached the door to the lobby and opened it without trying to draw the usual attention to himself he always does. He lowered his head and shifted his eyes around the room when he limped slowly over to the elevator.

He noticed her.

Cuddy was talking to a nurse at the desk and their eyes met for a second, and heard as she stumbled over a word at the sight of him. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, he looked away and hit the button for the elevator cursing it for taking longer than usual to open, still feeling her eyes on him even with his back to her.

He awkwardly started tugging at the strap of his backpack as though it was loose on his shoulder, which it wasn't; and bounced his helmet up against his left leg as though he was doing it to a beat in his head; which there were none. He was doing anything he could think of while waiting for the elevator door to open.

When it did he faced another difficult thing. Walking in and turning around to face the lobby he refused to face when waiting. He walked to the wall of the elevator and turned to lean his back on it.

He took a peek out and saw her in the same spot he saw her when he passed, and saw her still looking at him. He sighed and looked up at the numbers when the doors came together and closed.

When he reached his office floor he stepped out of the elevator and before looking straight ahead, walking where he knew he should be, he instead, turned in the direction of the other office that brought him comfort. He turned the doorknob to Wilson's office and walked in.

"You're here," Wilson stated shocked. "I didn't think you'd be coming in today," he sat back in his chair and watched House walk to his couch.

"I didn't know if I was either," he turned his head to look at Wilson, "but then I decided a day without you was more pain then I could stand."

Wilson let out a laugh. "Is something going on with you and Cuddy?"

House mirrored Wilson's shocked expression when he saw him walk in. "Why are you asking me that? Did she say anything?"

"Only asked me if you were coming in, I said I didn't know, that I never know with you, and that we'll have to wait and see."

"And then what?"

"She..smiled at me, said 'okay' and walked back into her office."

House looked straight ahead in thought, trying to decide what that meant. What she was thinking by asking Wilson if he was coming in? Was she looking for him to talk again? Or was she asking because she was hoping that he wasn't coming?

"House," Wilson said, trying to get him out of his thought.

He turned his head toward him but kept his eyes in the spot on Wilson's door he chose to stare at to acknowledge Wilson saying his name, but was still thinking of Cuddy. He lingered in that position, Wilson still silent, until a couple seconds later, House let his eyes follow in the direction of his head and saw the look of anticipation on Wilson's face to hear what was going through his mind.

"I'll see you at lunch," House got up and walked out not sharing any more then that, feeling it was too early in the day for that deep of a conversation and went to the only place he hadn't been to yet. Somewhere he could continue to think without the extra questions from Wilson.

His office.

Once he dumped his stuff and went into the other room to join his team, he felt he was invisible as Taub kept texting, Chase was reading a magazine, that House twisted his neck to see the cover and when it was nothing of interest to him, looked at Park and Adams who were both hovering over the chart that was in between the both of them.

"Is anyone going to say hi to me?" he asked standing near the edge of the table.

"Hi," they all mumbled at the same time, still engrossed in everything they were doing.

"Well, since no one seems to show any interest in DOCTORING today, I'll just go back in my office and play on my computer until you do."

They looked up and watched him turn and limp into the other room and then back at each other. House sat down facing his computer and smiled at the sound of all the chairs scrape against the floor then the sound of shuffling toward the door. He turned to face them when he heard it stop and saw all of them looking at him from the other side of his desk. "You ready now?"

They all silently looked at him which he took as a 'yes.' "Okay, then, your patient today is Lisa Cuddy-"

"Um, Dean of Medicine, Lisa Cuddy?" Park asked.

"Isn't that what I just said?" House asked annoyed.

"Yes-but-"

"Don't we have any actual patients to treat?" Chase chimed in, taking House's drilling off of Park who still had a problem with sometimes dealing with his sarcasm or his way of sounding easy annoyed.

"Don't you think I would give you a real patient instead of Cuddy if I had a real patient to give?" he asked now steered onto Chase, asking in the same slightly high-pitched annoyed tone he used on Park.

"No," Chase answered flatly. "I don't."

House scowled at Chase. "I need you to follow her today. But don't be obvious! Just, if she asks for Clinic work, do the Clinic work...see what kind of mood she's in...see if she talks about me..and if she does, what was her tone? Was she happy? Sad? Mad? Irritated? I need specifics. Then report back to me when you're done. With detail! So pay attention!"

"And if instead of asking us to go to the Clinic she gives us a patient to treat?" Adams asked.

"Then, go do that too. You can multitask can't you?" House asked her.

"And, when we are spying on Cuddy and treating the patients you will be?-" Taub joined in the questioning.

"Uh, up here. Waiting for you to give me updates," he answered back like that was a stupid question.

He watched as his team exchanged glances with each other, not afraid to hide their annoyed expressions and rolling their eyes as they all one by one left his office to head down to where Cuddy was.

He smiled pleased with himself for getting them to do what he wanted, to find out about Cuddy. He felt more at ease now that he was passed the lobby floor and into the comfort of his office. He grabbed his tennis ball and laid back in his chair and started tossing it in the air and waited...


	20. Chapter 20

"Wow, all of you?" Cuddy asked when she saw House's team come into her office. "What did House do?"

"Nothing," Chase said.

"Yeah, Chase is right," Taub added looking at him to make sure he was done, then over at Cuddy. "We just wanted to know if you needed us for any Clinic work. Or maybe...something.. else...you..wanted help with?" he continued, eyes wide, hoping she had something.

"Okaaaay," looking at them suspiciously. "If you guys aren't busy then I suppose I could use you in the Clinic," she said with an amused grin at their demeanor.

"Dr. Cuddy," Park started, "are you...feeling alright? Happy, or, upset with anyone..here at work?"

Chase turned slightly to his right where Park was standing, "don't make it obvious, remember?" he told her through his mouth that he twisted in hopes Cuddy wouldn't make out what he said.

"Okay, did House put you up to this? Is it really Clinic hours or, wait, no, I know. He wanted you to spy on me, didn't he?" she asked angry.

"No, not at all," Adams chimed in. "He just didn't want to do his Clinic hours and so he sent us here to see if maybe.." Adams stopped when she got up and walked passed them out of her office and over to the elevator.

"No wait!" Taub screamed out to stop her and the urgency in his tone got her to turn around looking confused with her guard down for a second. Taub ran passed her and into the elevator that he saw was open and about to close to try and warn House.

She stood looking at him agape and then back at the rest of his team. "I can't believe he put you up to this. And I can't believe you listened!" she turned around and walked over to the elevator that Taub just disappeared in as they followed her, placing blame on each other for blowing it.

House was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed, drumming to the beat of the music he was listening to on his iPod, using his two pointer fingers as drumsticks against his desk, when Taub came rushing in. "House!" When he didn't hear him, Taub walked around his desk to nudge him on his right shoulder.

House opened his eyes, startled, and pulled his left ear bud out. "You are done spying already?" he looked around for the rest of his team and looked back at him for an explanation.

"No, she caught on to us."

House rolled his eyes in irritation and set his iPod on his desk after yanking out the other ear bud. "I should have never of trusted you guys with such a simple task," he paused, when a thought came into his head. "You look out of breath. Did you run up here to tell me?"

"I ran up here to tell you, and also, to warn you that she's on her way up," House pushed him aside and grabbed his cane that was resting on the side of the desk that Taub was blocking to leave.

"But why did you care so much to warn me? Why not just have her come up here and find me like the rest of the team seem to have opted for?"

"I gave up on ever leaving here a long time ago," Taub started, walking on House's left, following him out of the office. "And when I did leave, you just came and found me and left me no choice to come back-"

"You WANTED to, I did you a favor!" House retorted, knowing he was talking about the time he came to him and Thirteen, and didn't leave them alone until they were back on the team.

"Fine. Maybe you did. But the point is, I don't think I'm leaving again anytime soon. So, I may as well be on your side."

House turned his head to look at Taub and smiled, "I knew you would eventually come around."

Taub huffed a laugh and right before they turned the corner they heard the elevator doors open.

"House!" Cuddy screamed from the other end of the hall. Taub looked at House who squeezed his eyes shut, and slowly turned to his right to face her, seeing her taking huge strides down the hall to get to him quicker. "You send your team down to me? Really? So, are we never going to talk again? Is that your plan?"

"I thought it would be easier this way," he stated calmly. "If I could...see how you were before I attempt to talk to you."

"Attempt? Attempt! We both work here again. You have to attempt a little harder if YOU want to stay working here. Because now, I have the power to fire you!" Her eyes widened instigating a fight back but turned away to strut back to the elevator.

House made a face as watching her get further away. "You can't fire me! Otherwise you would have done it a long time ago!"

"People can change! I can fire you whenever I want!" Cuddy shouted over her shoulder when she hit the elevator button, not turning to look at him.

House kept his eye on her when sensing Park, Adams, and Chase all walking up to him, who came up a few seconds after Cuddy. "What part of spying did you not understand?"

Taub leaned in close to House, who was also still looking at Cuddy, though, he was looking at the back of her head, while House was looking at her ass. "If you still want that report on how she is...she's mad."

"Why don't you hire a Private Investigator or something? Why have us do it?" Adams asked.

House inhaled, annoyed, finally taking his eyes off of Cuddy when the elevator doors closed, taking his view of her away from him, and looked at Adams with a piercing stare. "Would one of you please explain to Adams why we DON'T have Private Investigators that I choose anywhere near Cuddy?"

"I...don't know...why.." Park started.

House twisted his mouth and closed one eye. "Would one of you with TESTICLES please explain to Adams?"

Chase took a deep breath. "He had a Private Investigator follow people around before. When he was sent to Mayfield, the guy and Cuddy became a..thing."

House winced at the memory. "Does that clear things up for you Adams?" She looked away from his glance feeling awkward and he looked around at the rest of his team. "So, none of you are great spies..but, did either of you get a patient for us?"

He scanned them as they all looked at each other blankly. "Boy, you guys are really useless," he started walking down the same hall Cuddy did a minute ago, but kept his eye on them by turning his head. "NOW you leave me no choice but go back down there after you got her upset with me." He looked ahead and made his way down to the lobby to get a patient from Cuddy...


	21. Chapter 21

For the next few days the most House and Cuddy said to each other was just enough for House to be given a patient, and the updates on how that patient was doing once they fell under House's care.

But, that changed when their next session together with Scott came up.

Scott sat there observing them both sitting without speaking. Not that the not speaking was something he wasn't used to, he'd grown accustomed in having to pry them open. But, this time was different. He saw that House was leaning on the left armrest of his chair, while Cuddy was resting on the right armrest; trying to sit as far away from each other as the chairs would allow. He knew he had to ask what happened to cause this.

House skipped his session with Scott that was suppose to be just him, and the last time he saw Cuddy, she was off to see House to talk to him about his take on her adopting talk.

Scott cleared his throat, "how are you both doing?" he started simple, though, didn't expect the answer to be.

"Just peachy."

"Psh, right," Cuddy responded to House's answer while shaking her head.

"Would you like to clue me in, Lisa?" Scott asked.

She looked from Scott, over to House, now sitting straight, with her arms folded over her chest. "Don't you want to tell him about what you did with your team?"

"Not particularly. I'd rather not. And anyway, I only did it because of what you dumped on me the night before!" House now straightened his seating position also.

Scott looked from one to the other wondering if the night he was referring to was the same night he wanted to know about. Cuddy looked at Scott, "he had his team come into my office, instead of himself, to see what kind of mood I was in!" She turned her head to look at House before continuing, "to spy on me!"

Scott looked at House, who looked back at Cuddy, "what did you expect me to do? You come over and tell me that the guy I saw-"

"Oh, right, yeah. I forgot. This is my fault! I drove you to jealousy and so you ran your car into my house!-"

"It wasn't all jealousy! You think that was all it took? I saw you move on with life after breaking up with me like nothing happened! You think that didn't hurt me? I've only loved and cared deeply about two people in my life and you were one of them, Cuddy! I opened up and you tore up my heart and stepped on it! And EVERYDAY I saw you after that..talking to the staff, hell, even talking to Wilson like NOTHING HAPPENED felt like you were doing it all over again!" Scott had to consciously stop from letting his mouth drop open at this revelation that he hadn't even told him when they were alone in a session.

"So I acted out...I married Dominika, which yes, was stupid! But dammit, I wanted to hurt you Cuddy! I was falling apart without you and you didn't even see that!-"

"I was trying to stay away from you because I was your problem!"

"Yeah! Exactly! You breaking up with me was my problem. You wanting to talk to me about it, about my FEELINGS, that was my problem! But, I wanted you! I needed you! So, okay, maybe seeing you with that guy was the tip off. Was what set me off, because I thought you had really gone! I thought there was no way I could EVER have you in my life again, just to be there, and THAT hurt more than anything! So, I did it!"

Cuddy never heard all this from him before. She wanted to hear these feelings from him when she asked him to meet her at lunch that day at work. But, instead all he gave her was he felt hurt. She didn't know he hurt this bad.

Wilson tried to go to her to ask to help him with House, but she couldn't. Now, she wished she had listened. Who knows what that could have avoided. It could have stopped all that happened.

She sighed, knowing it was time to be honest with him too.

"House," she said calmly as he looked back at her trying to regulate his breathing after all his yelling. "I couldn't see you. That's why I was trying to avoid you at work. Talking to Wilson and not you, acting like I wasn't bothered by things you were doing in front of you..because I thought if I let you see those feelings then we would somehow end up back together, and although, I love you, I knew I wasn't ready for it. It took everything in me to show up at your place that night. I must have turned around from being halfway there at least ten times. But, I had to do it. I couldn't just fall back into your arms after breaking up with you. Because I knew, if you took Vicodin and I didn't like it, or, whatever you would have ended up doing that would have gotten me mad to get me to want to do that to you again.." she paused and sighed. "I couldn't put you through that moment..again. I reminded myself over and over how you looked when I walked away every time I wanted to talk to you. I put on an act. For you, for everyone, even myself. I was lying to everyone. That's why I looked like I wasn't hurt."

House looked at his feet after hearing her confession to him. He took it all in, showing no signs of his feelings, or what he was thinking. Cuddy didn't say another word. She watched him as he went into his own mind and closed the door on them.

Scott watched this too, but had a question. "Greg, if you feel so strongly for Lisa, and Lisa, you obviously still feel strongly toward Greg, why then, didn't it work between the two of you in college? I read in Nolan's notes that you two were with each other for a night. Why did nothing materialize back then?"

House shook his head, "damn that Nolan and his notes." Cuddy looked at House, waiting to see what he was going to say. "I told Cuddy this once, but, I was planning on calling the next day."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I got kicked out of school. Didn't see the point."

"You never thought you'd see her again?" Scott pressed on.

"Of course I thought I'd see her again," he turned to look at her, "at least I always hoped."

"You say that," Cuddy cut in, "but then I found out later that you slept with Christine. So, I just figured I was just another number to you and not-"

"Christine?" House asked, confused. "Your roommate at the time?"

"Yeah. We ran into each other at some hospital function, before I hired you on, she was saying how funny it was that we ended up sleeping with the same guy in college, only, it happened with her after we moved out of our place. I asked her who she was talking about, she said, Greg House."

House's face looked even more confused than when she started in on the story. "I never slept with her."

"So, you're saying that she lied about? Why? She slept with everyone, you had to have slept with her."

He thought about it more while looking at the ceiling, "there was a time I wanted to," he looked back at her and continued, "but it never happened. I went to your place with HER, and it wasn't that long after I met you. You were...in class I think. But, when we got back, I saw a paper sitting on the desk and saw your name in the corner. I asked if you were her roommate and she said yeah. I wanted to know you better and knew that if I slept with her, and if you found out or came back, then it would ruin any chance I had with you. So, I faked some illness, saying I wasn't feeling good and got out of there."

It sounded so sweet, she wanted to believe it. But, she knew Christine's reputation and had her doubts. House examined Cuddy's face, "you don't believe me."

"Well, it's like you say, everybody lies. Why would she lie about that?"

"Why would I lie about it? You think I would say something like that to make me look good?" he took a second and thought that over, "don't answer that one. But, I didn't lie. That is what really happened."

"But, why you? Why did she choose you?" Cuddy asked more in a tone of believing him and now not believing her.

"Was she there and we just not realize it? Did she hear us?" House asked.

"Oh yeah, she lied about it because it was just that good," she said sarcastically.

"It wasn't?"

Cuddy blushed, now thinking about it and saw he smirked at her. She started thinking of all the times she had been jealous of all his hookers he had paraded around, and even felt ashamed about being happy when Stacy broke up with him because she knew what she was experiencing.

"This session has helped make some great progress," Scott announced joyfully of the couple of people he wanted to help so badly but at times, didn't think he could.

"Oh sure, I found out I ran my car through Cuddy's house for no reason, and that we had a chance of being happy a long time ago if her stupid roommate never lied, and I wasn't kicked out, great session, Doc. I agree," House said sarcastically. "We done?"

"We're done."

House and Cuddy said their goodbyes to Scott for the week and walked out together without speaking. Neither of them wanted to ruin the good moments they shared together today so thought it best to not speak. It's not everyday they have good days with each other.

Cuddy lingered in her car before starting it and watched as House got on his motorcycle and rode out of the parking lot, not noticing she was still there. She smiled to herself with relief that what Christine told her years ago was a lie...


	22. Chapter 22

House came in to the hospital a little earlier than usual and Cuddy was at the lobby desk reading a chart, not noticing him. "This hospital doesn't look right at this time of day." She looked away from what she was reading over to the sound of his voice and saw he looked freshly showered, with a hint of his hair still wet.

"This is what normal people know as morning."

"Hey!" he shouted, looking offended. "Just because I have a cane, it doesn't mean I'm not normal!" his offended look changed to serious and his tone back to normal. "Normal is overrated anyway. I'd rather be different."

"Psh, you are. Trust me," she said while flipping through charts.

"Got anything for me, boss?"

"Uhhh, yeah. Here. Twenty-eight year old female model who-" House snatched the chart away from her after hearing model and rushed over to the elevator. She smiled while thinking what he's about to find out about his patient, as she went towards her office.

Twenty minutes later Cuddy saw House storm into her office and she was trying to keep from smiling when seeing the look on his face. "HAND model? That's all she is? A hand model?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that you are willing to treat anyone except hand models. I'll be sure to give a case like that to someone else if you feel they are beneath you," she said.

"She's 280 pounds!"

"But she's sick!"

House gave her an irritated look. "Next time be more clear on what model type my next model patient is!"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll be sure to have them scored one to ten on a beauty scale before they are brought to you," she said sarcastically, then turned seriously. "Hey, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Oh nnnnno. This never ends well for me when you start something of with 'I have a favor to ask of you.' Do I even want to know what it is?" he whined when slumping down on her couch, laying his cane across his lap.

"It's not for me," she snapped. "Rachel," she noticed the difference in him the second he heard her name. He went from resistance to paying attention within the second. "Her school is doing this stupid 'bring your Dad to school' day next week. She asked her teacher if she could get out of it-"

"This is the moron?" House asked.

Cuddy hesitated, remembering the conversation he had with Rachel, "yeah, the moron," she said playing along. "Anyway, she told her she couldn't. Rachel asked if she could stay home from school that day to avoid doing it, I told her no..and, she wanted me to ask you.." Cuddy hesitated again, this time, because she was afraid to continue. She knew he had to have seen where this was leading, but, he played dumb. He blankly stared at her to be led to her point which annoyed her. "She wanted me to ask if you would go for her."

"What, as her Dad?"

"Just as...someone. You're really the only male who has been around Rachel to be that, Father figure," she couldn't help but say that unconvincingly, knowing he wasn't nearly mature enough to be that for anyone, "for her. And, I think she really wants you to be there. So, please, say you'll do it."

He looked down at his lap and lifted his cane with right hand and started twirling it and looked straight ahead while thinking. He sighed after thirty seconds of silence and spoke while still twirling. "What day is it next week?"

"Tuesday."

"Do I have to pick her up and bring her there?"

"No. You don't have to. If you want to show up at the school when the day starts that's fine. I can take her there in the morning."

"And if I have patients?" he asked looking at her.

"Hopefully you won't, but if you do, I'll have your team be you until the next day."

House scoffed, "my team could never be me."

"For the day they can."

He turned his head away from her back to straight ahead of him. "If I do this, then no Clinic duty for two months."

"Two weeks."

"One month."

She sighed, "fine. One month."

He stopped his cane mid-twirl, trapping it between his thumb and pointer finger and used it to help him off the couch. "Okay, I'll be there." He started to walk toward her door then turned back to face her again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a non-model to get my team to treat for me."

"Go HELP your team or you will have to do the one month of Clinic duty," she said in her boss tone that he always hated.

"Fine," he said as a little boy would who was told to do homework before going out to play. He walked out and went to his office floor to join his team...


	23. Chapter 23

House got to the school at 7:45am, scowling at all the little kids around him but mostly, the early sun. What Cuddy didn't realize as she was threatening him to show up on time or else she wasn't even going to try and make things right with him, wasn't the big drive to get him there at that time. That wouldn't be ideal, he admitted that to himself. To have all that time trying to fix what he broke with her have be wasted for one little slip wouldn't be great. But, what got him to get out of bed this morning was what he would get in exchange for doing this: one month without Clinic duty.

He yanked his helmet off his head and lifted his left leg off of his motorcycle and spotted Rachel. With Wilson.

"What are you doing here?" House asked him, walking in their direction, not noticing the smile on Rachel's face when she saw him.

"I was here in case you weren't," he said flatly. "Cuddy called me saying she didn't want Rachel to go in alone," he inhaled and continued, "she said Rachel wanted you, so she hoped you'd do it for her. But, I was the backup."

"Nice, guilt trip through you. She can't tell me herself?" he snapped.

"Apparently not." Wilson watched as Rachel started tugging at House's left arm, trying to get his attention.

House looked down at her and saw her looking up at him, with her eyes big, then smiled when she saw him look at her. "What? You want this?" he swung his arm that she was tugging at which held his motorcycle helmet. He dropped it on her head and heard an echoed giggle coming from Rachel inside.

Wilson shook his head in amazement. He could have sworn she was his child had he not known the situation. "You got this? I can go now?" he asked House.

"Yeah, I got this. You can go home now, Daddy" he called out sarcastically, seeing Wilson starting to walk away.

He turned his head to face him again, "I better not get any calls from the Principal," he replied, playing along with what House started and walked to his car to go to the hospital.

House looked down at Rachel, "come on," he told her taking a step toward the building.

"I can't see!" she screamed from inside the helmet.

He grabbed the bottom of it to take it off and she held it steady with her right hand. "No!" she stuck her arm out for him to take her hand. He let go of the helmet and grabbed her right hand in his left and walked to her classroom.

They sat down and House studied all the kids and their Dads that sat around them and he felt out of place. He wasn't anyone's Dad. All the ones he saw there were caring and loving, and he threw a helmet on her head as his way of a 'hello.'

He looked at Rachel who he felt was looking at him. "What's with the staring, kid?"

"You want to see my picture on the wall?" she asked excitedly.

"No."

"But it's of you!" she shouted with excitement still in her voice. House looked over at the wall, and Rachel put her hand on his left knee and pushed down on it to help her up. "Here, I'll bring it to you!" he couldn't help but smile when watching her run over to grab the picture of him.

"What happened to your leg?" the boy who sat at his right asked when he saw his cane. House turned his head and looked at the boy, "what happened to your face?" House snapped back, which got the boy's Dad's attention.

"Hey, come on, Buddy, there's no need for that. He was just asking a question."

"Yeah, a very personal question, which I don't need to answer," he retorted back, seeing Rachel coming back over to him. "And I'm not your Buddy," he added, and looked back at Rachel, turning his back toward the boy and his Dad.

"Look! It's you!" Rachel handed House the picture that she had facing her until she gave it to him and started giggling.

He looked at her skeptically with his right eyebrow raised before looking down and seeing a drawn picture of a man wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers, holding a cane in his right hand. Then he looked up at the face. He noticed the big blue eyes that he was impressed with, that she noticed and remembered that about him, had a beard, but, then saw what she was probably laughing about. He had a patch on his eye.

He smiled, "is it because of the Pirate thing I made you watch?"

"YES!" she exclaimed.

"Is that your teacher?" House asked seeing the only adult woman walk in.

Rachel looked at him then over at where she saw him looking. "Yeah, that's her," she answered sounding sad. House studied Rachel and thought maybe there was something more to what she is telling Cuddy about how her teacher treats her and he felt bad for her. She wasn't a bad kid. It bothered him more than he expected to think that she may be having problems with her teacher. So, he asked her one question. The only way he knew how to help her out for the moment. "Hey, kid," he said getting her attention back, leaning in and dropped the volume of his voice to try and not let anyone else overhear. "You want to give your teacher hell today?"

Rachel beamed, "yeeeaaaahhhhh," she answered in the same quiet voice.

House straightened his sitting position, looked at the teacher and smirked...


	24. Chapter 24

"Hello students, and their guests. My name is Ms. Bell-" Rachel's teacher started to announce in front of the classroom.

House rolled his eyes, already annoyed with her. "You have to put up with her five days a week?" he whispered to Rachel.

"Yeah, it's not fun," Rachel said seriously, without looking at him, keeping her eyes forward and her arms crossed over her chest. House enjoyed this side of Rachel. She reminded him of himself.

"Does she always introduce herself, or is that supposed to be for us?"

Rachel grinned and looked at him, "that's for you."

"Give me that?" House pointed to a sheet of paper on the round table that they shared with two other kids and their Dads.

"The paper?"

"What else could I be pointing to?"

"The table."

House rolled his eyes, "not the table. The paper. Come on, Rachel, I'm a cripple. You think I can lift up that table?"

She reached for the blank paper to hand to him, both ignoring the shushing from the other Dads around them, trying to listen to what the teacher was saying.

"What are you going to do with it?" she asked intrigued, now having her whole body facing him in her chair.

"What does it look like?" he answered as he rolled the paper into a ball.

"Looks like a ball."

"You really are a bright girl," he said sarcastically, while perfecting his paper ball. "I never did believe your Mom when she said you were 'special.'"

Rachel giggled, knowing what he meant by 'special' hearing him call people that as an insult before. "She never said I was special."

He looked up at her teacher as though he was paying attention the whole time while holding the ball in his left hand. Rachel kept her eye on it to see what he will do next. "She never called you that in front of you. That would be rude," House continued.

She smiled, but had nothing to say back. Her eyes followed his hand as she saw him lift it up, launching the paper ball to the front of the room and watched it as it almost hit her teacher's face. "Damn. Missed," House said, but smiled when he saw her startled, holding her chest. "What a drama queen."

He heard giggles from the kids all around him and smiled proudly as the teacher looked around to see who it was.

"Did any of you throw that?" she demanded from the kids who continued to laugh.

"He did it," the same Dad who shushed them when they were talking said while pointing in House's direction who gave him a shocked expression like he didn't know what he was talking about.

Rachel put her hands on House's left thigh to lean forward, "no he didn't!" she lied, coming to his defense.

"Yes, he did! I saw him do it too!" the Dad's kid answered coming to his defense.

"Oh shut up Jimmy! You're stupid!" Rachel spat out.

House smirked at the kid who told on him, "yeah! All Jimmy's are stupid!" he shouted, thinking of Wilson as the comparison. "They are always sticking their noses where it doesn't belong," he added with a smile, imagining Wilson's expression had he been there to witness.

"Are you, Rachel's Dad?" House heard Ms. Bell ask, so looked from Jimmy to the front of the room at her.

"No, I'm not."

"But, you're sitting with her."

House looked at her confused, "so, I have to be her Dad just because I'm sitting with her?"

"Nnnno," she answered slowly. "It's just that since you are sitting with her then maybe you were her guest-"

"Oh I am," he said cutting her off. "Yeah, I'm Rachel's 'guest.' But, not her Dad," House looked down at Rachel who he saw looked down at his left jean pant leg that he felt her pulling at, looking sad by what he said. "But, it doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be," he looked from Rachel, back up at the teacher, thinking of how Rachel seemed to give off the feeling that her teacher doesn't like her. "I bet she's better than all the other kids in this stupid school." He felt her looking up and he could see in the corner of his eye that she was smiling up at him.

"Can you please, not insult the kids in this school?"

"Oh, come on. It's not like I know them all personally. I don't really know if they're stupid," he scanned around the room and saw a boy in the corner licking the top of the glue bottle, "well, maybe that one," House pointed and the Dad looked down and slapped his hand away when he saw what he was doing. "Watch your kid, will you? Make sure he doesn't become a screw up. I don't want to have to treat him in another few years because he ate too much glue," House told the Dad.

"What, are you a Doctor?" the Dad asked.

"No."

"Yes! Yes he is!" Rachel shouted across the room.

"Heeeyyy," he started, looking down at her, "don't answer that question truthfully. You always lie when you hear someone ask that," he told her.

"But, you are though. You can't be a Doctor and not see patients."

House scowled at her, "you sound just like your Mother sometimes."

"I love Mommy!" she exclaimed.

House looked down, away from Rachel, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes. He wanted to say he did too, but held it back.

"Mr... Dr.-"

"Wilson," House chimed in, not wanting anyone to know his name now that people knew he was a Doctor.

"Dr. Wilson, can you please keep your comments to yourself for the rest of the day?"

"I'm sorry," he said apologetic. She looked relieved and accepting of his apology. "My name's not Wilson. I should never have said it was. I'm Dr. Foreman..no, Chase. YES! I'm Dr. Chase. I'm sorry I lied to you about that. I AM Dr. Chase."

All the kids laughed around him, all starting to shout out different names for her to call them by. He smiled again, pleased with how easily it was to make them laugh.

"You're not sorry about saying rude things?" Ms. Bell continued.

"Oh God no! If I had to apologize for every rude thing I had ever said, I'd be here a VERY long time. No, I'm not sorry for that."

"Dr. Wilson...Chase...whoever you are. Go to Mr. Ridgefield's office," she said pointing to the door, holding her head like she was developing a headache.

"Who's Mr. Ridgefield?" he asked Rachel, looking down at her who had the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her. "That's the Principal."

"Uh oh, looks like Wilson may end up getting a call from the Principal after all," he told her when standing up and used his cane to limp through the classroom who were full of kids still yelling out random names at the top of their lungs.

He turned for one last look at Rachel before walking out the doorway and saw she was still smiling about all the chaos that he caused. He flashed a smile back at her and left the room, heading towards the Principal's office...


	25. Chapter 25

"Getting a call from the Principal saying that Rachel had to be picked up from school only an hour into it because she was yelling at her teacher for sending her guest out of the room is NOT what I had in mind when I asked you to do this!" Cuddy paced back and forth in front of her desk as House stood near the door, watching, leaning on his cane.

"I don't know why you had to send Wilson to get her. I had my motorcycle. I could have-"

"What? Taken her here on that thing?"

"I would have given her the helmet!"

"Psh," she didn't give him any more on that subject. She just continued to pace. "I can't believe I thought that you could be a mature adult for ONE day! One day is all I asked! If not for me, then I at least thought you'd do it for Rachel. I mean-"

"I DID do it for Rachel! She seemed to be having a good time! Her whole class did as a matter of fact! That reminds me..do you think it would still be considered child labor if I replaced my team with those kids if I paid them good money and kept them until they were adults? They seem to understand me more than my team does."

"What, you're making JOKES now?"

"No, it's not a joke! But, I probably couldn't do it, it's a shame really."

She shook her head in disbelief of what she was hearing but, it only gave her more ammunition to use against him. "House, these are children! You stooped down to their level!"

Wilson stood outside her office with Rachel, waiting for Cuddy to bring her down to the daycare center in the hospital when Rachel heard Cuddy yelling at House. She wiggled her way free from Wilson's hand and went into the office.

"I only did what I did because her teacher is a miserable woman!"

"Well, gee, that sounds like someone I know! She should be your new best friend shouldn't she?"

"It's not House's fault!" Rachel screamed at Cuddy, standing next to House as his protector.

House and Cuddy both looked down at her, then he looked up at Cuddy while pointing to Rachel, "see, not my fault!"

"It's always your fault," Cuddy snapped.

"It wasn't, Mommy! I don't like my teacher. She doesn't like me. She's always mean to me. House was just treating her the way she should be treated."

House looked at Cuddy, waiting for a response as she watched Rachel squeeze between his cane and leg, and wrapped her arm around his right knee, grabbing hold like she never wanted to let go. She looked over at House, even more upset then she was a minute ago. "You see what you did? You spent so much time with her, she thinks it's okay to get even with someone the way you did."

"Well, isn't it? You can't tell me you think it's okay for Rachel's teacher to not like her!"

"I never said that! You could have tried to deal with it in a mature fashion and-"

"Mature fashions never get anyone anywhere!"

"In your warped mind, I can see how you think that would be true. But when you're around my kid-!"

"Stop yelling at him, Mommy!" Rachel screamed, getting a tighter grip on his leg, which almost made him fall, but moved his left leg to steady himself just in time.

"I'm not yelling at-"

"You are! You always are! Why do you hate him? What did he do that made you hate him so much?" House looked up and bit his lip, closing his eyes. Rachel had no idea he was behind why they had to move.

"I don't hate him, Honey," Cuddy said in a soft tone, trying to calm her little girl.

"But you do! He doesn't come over anymore like he used to! I want to show him my new room!"

Cuddy sighed, seeing the hurt and confusion in Rachel's face, then looked at House who had his eyes open again, but was still looking at the ceiling. "House, get to work in the Clinic."

He looked at her angry, "but I went there today to not have to work in the Clinic! And now you're telling me-"

"Work. Clinic. Now!"

He scowled at her and looked back at Rachel. "Hey, kid, I need my leg." Rachel stayed how she was, still holding on. "I know it's my bad one but I still need it." Still no reaction, then he got an idea of what to say next. "Remember what you told me earlier? How can I be a Doctor if I don't see any patients? I need my leg to do that." She didn't say anything, but he slowly felt the release of her grip and put her hand down to her side and looked up at him with sad eyes. "See ya, kid," House turned and limped out of her office, leaving Cuddy alone with Rachel.

Cuddy stayed quiet as she saw her daughter turn toward the door, watching House until she couldn't see him anymore. When she turned Cuddy saw her cheeks were red, and had tears streaming down. "I miss him, Mommy. All he was doing was sticking up for me," she looked down at her feet and Cuddy saw the new tears that were flowing were falling to the floor.

Cuddy took a second to think over what really happened today. He reacted as a Dad would. Only, in his way, he acted immaturely, but that's what he knows. That's his way. He was upset and defended Rachel by acting out toward her teacher. Cuddy sighed, wishing she could take the last few minutes back. But, she knew it was too late.

"Come on, Rachel, I have to take you to the daycare center." She reached for Rachel's left hand as Rachel wiped away her tears with her right hand.

They walked out of her office and went through the lobby and Cuddy's eye caught the elevator that held House. She saw he was going up to his office instead of the Clinic like he was told but, she couldn't deal with him now. She watched him with his head held low, looking at his feet and made his left hand into a fist and banged the wall behind him in anger as the doors closed on him...


	26. Chapter 26

Cuddy looked up from her desk and saw House in the Clinic dumping a file on the counter and started to limp away to go home for the day.

This was the first time she spotted him since the fight this morning, and she wanted to talk to him about it. She got out of her chair and left her office and slid up next to him, starting to walk with him from his left side.

"You aren't done yelling at me?" he snapped, as he kept walking, not looking at her.

"That's not it. I..wanted to say I was sorry."

"Wow," he turned to look over at her but kept up his pace. "That's big of you."

She huffed, "House," she grabbed his arm when they reached the lobby to stop him from going to the elevator to gather his things. "Will you please just listen?"

He scanned around the room and went over to the side to get out of everyone's way and put both hands on the top of his cane and stood there waiting for her to speak.

"When I got mad at you earlier, I didn't realize what you were actually doing."

"Sticking up for Rachel, you mean?"

She stood there, awkwardly shuffling her feet. "Yes."

"Fine. So, now you know. And now I know you know. Can I go home now? I'd like to get out of here before someone else gets sick."

"House will you just listen to me? I want to make this work-"

"You want to make it work with us? Or you want to make this work as colleagues so it's not uncomfortable around here like it has been since you came back?"

That shocked her, "you've been uncomfortable since I came back?"

"Haven't you?"

"Don't deflect. I asked if you were uncomfortable." His body language told her everything she needed to know. "Then why all the therapy? Why do all these things if you think it's so uncomfortable?"

"Honestly, I felt like I owed it to you to try. But, it doesn't seem to matter does it? Because you ask me to do something, I do it, like going to Rachel's school, and you still find a reason to be mad at me about it. Rachel is right, you do seem to hate me-" he cut her off when he saw she was about to open her mouth to say something, "-not to say what I did you should be okay with, and shouldn't hate me for it. You should, and you have-but, how long can this go on for? What are we really doing?"

Cuddy stared at him speechless. She didn't know how to answer that. She thought they were going through all these motions to get back to where they used to be. But, at what point in their relationship were they trying to get back to? Colleagues, or a relationship? And how much longer until she feels comfortable enough to even tell him where she lived? If she ever will?

"That's what I thought."

He started to walk away from her back to the elevator. "House." He turned his head. "Can we come over later?"

He raised an eyebrow, showing confusion. "We?"

"Well, me. I need to find a sitter for Rachel but, we need to talk this out. You're right. We need to figure out what we are really doing. Where this is going."

He looked away and down, nodding. "Okay. Come by at eight. I'll order food. Don't eat."

House heard a door knock at five after eight. He grabbed his cane from the side of his piano that he was sitting at and playing, and limped over to the door to open it. He saw the Cuddy had changed into something different, and she smelt freshly showered.

"This isn't a date, you know," he commented, widening the door for her to walk through.

"I need a reason to look nice now?"

He didn't answer. She watched as he limped over to the couch, flipped open a pizza box that was sitting on the coffee table, and went into the kitchen coming back with a couple beers and sat on the couch next to her after placing them down in front of them both.

"So, we're talking about us then?" he asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, I guess we are."

They both took a gulp of their beers and looked into each others eyes trying to figure out how to start...


	27. Chapter 27

"I'm really trying to look past what happened," Cuddy started, seeing House take another gulp when hearing that.

"Didn't you tell me you were trying to look passed it already?"

"Yeah," she continued. "But, after what you said about what triggered you to do it, when we were in Scott's office, it made me want to work on it more, because, I think in a way, I may have pushed you to it."

"May have?" House asked.

Cuddy looked down at her lap, "I know I did," she looked back up at him. "It's just...it scared me when you went back on Vicodin."

"I didn't GO back. I took one," his voice strained. "If I knew that would end what we had, I never would have done it. But, that was the only way I knew how to cope with what was going on."

"You're back on it now. I've seen you take some around the hospital, and when you think I'm not looking."

"Yeah, well, I try not to. Nothing works like it does. And," he shrugged, "it's not like anyone cares if I'm taking it or not now."

"That's not true."

"It isn't?"

Cuddy's eyes glistened and he took another swig, "I do care about you, House. I don't want things to be weird between us anymore." She watched as he stared at the pizza that neither one of them have touched yet, and she took another couple gulps of her beer, waiting to see if he will say anything.

"That's the big question isn't it?" he turned his head to look at her, "how much do you care?"

"After everything we've been through since I've come back, you really don't know?" she asked softly.

"No."

She couldn't blame him for that answer. She has showed care as much as she showed anger towards him. But, he did the same thing. She had no idea how much he cared anymore. Although, his calm demeanor now, and his willingness to talk even though he said he has felt uncomfortable the whole time told her he did in some way, want to fix them.

Her eye caught his right hand rubbing his thigh. "You want me to massage your leg like I used to?" she asked, feeling sorry for him for the amount of pain he looked like he was in. She wasn't sure if he would accept that offer, she just remembered how much that seemed to help him.

"No, it's okay." She watched his right hand reach over to the side closest to him and grabbed a bottle of Vicodin. He was about to pop it open to dump a couple out to take, but stopped when he sensed her uneasiness. He sighed, put it back and grabbed his cane that was leaning against his coffee table and walked over to his backpack he usually takes to the hospital that he dropped near his piano. "I have Ibuprofen in here," he announced when reaching in and she saw him take the bottle out and saw he wasn't lying as to what it was.

He took it with him back to the couch and she watched him open the bottle and pop a couple in his mouth, and saw from the swallow that they both went down. "So how is Rachel doing?"

She smiled at his concern for her. "She's doing good."

"Good," he took another gulp and she took that moment to do the same. He shook his and looked over at hers in her hand. "Another one?"

"Yeah," he reached for hers and felt his finger graze against hers when grabbed it and that sent a chill down her back. She flashed back to all the times they just laid in bed together after having sex, and played with each others hands while holding them. She used to intertwine their fingers together, feeling the roughness of his against the hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he came back with another beer for her and held it out for her to take.

"Nothing. Just thinking back, thanks," she said while taking it, making the conscious effort to not touch any part of him.

"About?"

"Us," she said flatly.

He nodded, suddenly looking awkward and down at the pizza. "We should eat before it gets cold," he announced. She watched him look around the coffee table and leaned to the side of the couch, reaching over with his left arm which was closest to her. He stretched his hand out so far that it lifted his t-shirt slightly and relieved part of his side to her. Another part that of him she remembered. She was trying to shake off these feelings that were surfacing about him, not really knowing where they were coming from all of a sudden.

She took a sip of her new beer, and blamed that. The alcohol was making her feel vulnerable to him. She watched him pick out a piece with the most cheese after he grabbed the roll of paper towels he was looking for and put it on the first one he tore and handed it to her.

She smiled again and took it from him and took a bite while watching as he grabbed one for himself and did the same, leaning forward.

"So, when you were at the other hospital," he started in between bites. "Was it better than our hospital?"

The word that stuck out to her the most was 'our.' "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Trying to find something to talk about," he commented, turning his head to look at her.

"No, it wasn't better," she stared past him in thought, "it was different. But, not better." He nodded and looked back down at his pizza that his right hand was holding and brought it up to him to take another bite. "House," she said softly. She waited until he turned his head before continuing. "I thought of you when I was there." He gulped down the bite he had and tossed the piece back in the box and leaned back on the couch, and waited for her to go on. "I thought about, you being in prison," he winced when he heard her say that, and she set her own piece down, and moved passed that topic, which he was thankful for. "Wilson told me when you came back," she paused and sighed. "I don't know why, but, I wondered about you."

House stared at his piano in thought, and Cuddy stayed quiet, just observing as he took in what she just confessed to him. "I wondered about you too. And Rachel. All the time. I couldn't even sleep with Dominika. It felt, in some weird way, that I would be betraying you," he sighed and continued. "So, I, kept her at a distance and continued sleeping with hookers, like I was single," he saw she looked hurt when he admitted to the hookers. "Sorry. But, I had to..you know. I mean, it's not like I was hurting Dominika. She told me she would never love me anyway. So, no one was getting hurt. I convinced everyone that I moved on.."

She lost him in thought again. She didn't know what to say. She wished she could say that she never moved on either. But, he already knew that wasn't true. He knew about Ryan, her ex. So, instead of trying to match her feelings with his, she quietly continued to eat.

They didn't say much for the rest of the time she was there. A little bit of small talk here and there, but nothing that they wouldn't say to a stranger. That's when she knew it was time to leave. She felt like if she stayed and had one more beer, driving home safety would get questionable, and he looked emotionally drained since what he confessed about his marriage and every time he got up his limp was worse.

He was in pain, and trying not to take Vicodin because he knew it bothered her. So, she announced she could get going.

Not that she wanted to. There was still a lot more that needed to be said. But, that could wait.

"Here, take some pizza with you to take to Rachel," he said in response to her leaving. He pushed all the pieces that were left together and closed the box for her to take. "No beer though. She doesn't get that."

"It's nice to know you have matured enough to know she's too young," she said playfully, trying to lift some of the thickness felt in the room from all the serious talk.

"No, it's just, I figure it's much more fun to sneak them to her behind your back. She's not here to do that, and, that can wait a few years," he smirked at her, and the few years he said to her rang in her ears. He wanted to make things right enough to be around for the next few years. This made her smile and she took the box that he lifted up and handed to her.

She got up off of his couch and walked to his front door, seeing that he got up with her from the opposite end and reached for the door and opened it for her.

He stood with his left hand still resting on the knob and stared into her eyes as she stayed where she was, showing no signs of walking out the door yet.

She walked back to the table next to the couch, forgetting her purse that she placed there. He expected her to pick it up and walk out. But instead, she picked it up, and slid it along with the pizza on one of the shelves behind him and went back to standing in front of him.

Neither of them spoke. She knew he was trying to figure out what she was doing by arching his right eyebrow. She wasn't even sure of what she was doing. She took a step closer to him, leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

Once she did, she was shocked with herself. Never having the nerve to do this before, and thought it must have been the alcohol she had. But, once she was there, with her arms around him, and hands touching his back, it felt good. She still fit.

Not knowing what to do, House stood rigid, then slowly let his breath come out and felt at ease. He lifted his right arm and wrapped it around her. Cuddy closed her eyes when feeling this, and the right side of her mouth curved up into a smile.

"Thank you for tonight, House," she said.

"You're welcome," he answered, and when he did, Cuddy felt the vibration of when he spoke against her ear that was pressed onto his chest.

She released her hold on him and felt he did the same. She looked into his eyes, still seeing the same confusion in his face as before. Her eyes traveled down to his mouth and lingered there for a couple seconds. Looking back into his eyes, she saw that his were now looking down at her mouth.

She went with the moment. She grabbed a hold of his t-shirt with her right fist and got on a her tippy-toes to get closer and saw that he lowered his head to meet her halfway. She kissed him on the mouth, teasing his tongue with hers and lifted her left hand up to the side of his face, touching his scruff that she missed.

She let her feet fall flat, lowering herself and broke this kiss. She watched his eyes open, and he licked his lips.

She reached behind him to grab her purse and pizza, with their eyes locked with each others the whole time.

"Does this mean that we aren't just working on being colleagues?"

"I think it does," she bit the bottom of the left side of her lip. "Good night, House."

"Good night," he answered and saw her walk out the door without another word or glance in his direction.

It was then, he realized he still stood there holding the door open, which exposed them for anyone to see who walked by, and that neither of them cared. He closed it and turned around to survey his apartment and the events that took place in it that night.

He thought about that kiss, and how she initiated it, and the weight on his shoulders felt a little lighter...


	28. Chapter 28

Cuddy walked into House's office the next day to find him standing hunched over the shelf behind his desk. He took a quick glance at her to see who came in and then back to his shelf.

"You know where my copy of Gray's Anatomy went?" he asked, still busily looking through all the titles of his books.

"No," she said, caught off guard, "why?" she asked when positioning herself standing behind one of the chairs that are sitting in front of his desk.

"Chase and I have a debate going on about the anatomy. He thinks what I was said was a lie," he faced her again, "I taught him well," he added with a smirk, and looked back at his books, "and I know the proof I need is in that book."

"Well, I haven't seen it."

He walked around his desk and passed her to get to the other bookshelf of his that is next to his door to see if it was there. But, she grabbed his left arm to stop him and get his attention. "House, about last night-"

"It's fine," he said casually, keeping his focus in front of him on his shelf and not on her. "We were both drinking, if you are going to tell me that you didn't mean to do that, it's alright. We can pretend it never happened. I'll be fine with-"

"House, I didn't come here to say I regretted last night."

"So, by you coming up here to not say that, does it mean that you actually don't? Or, are you waiting to reveal that to me the next time you come up here?"

"I'm saying I don't regret it," she said, her eyes wide while looking at him to better state it.

He looked from his shelf to her, and nodded, then back at his bookshelf, "then what did you come here for?"

"To see how your patient is doing," she commented, tilting her head to the left and let go of his arm, which he started walking to the bookshelf once she did.

"Fine. Going home. We Doctors did our curing," he leaned on his cane and turned to face her. "Got another one?"

"No."

"Theeeennnn-" he glanced at the side of his wall then back at her, "can I go home?"

"No."

He shrugged and facing the shelf again, he put his hand on the books, indicating which ones he was looking at. "HA! Got it!" he pulled it out and took it back to his desk.

She smiled to herself at how much more relaxed he seemed around her since last night. How it felt they were slowly finding their way back to how things used to be. Without a word, she walked out and left his office, leaving him with his book.

Hours later Cuddy was looking all over the hospital for House. She had a patient for him, and she wanted to talk about if they were going to tell Scott what happened the night before. They were supposed to go in for a session in a couple hours and wanted to know from him, if he wanted him to know right away.

When she couldn't find him, she went to his team, whom she found scattered in the Clinic helping other patients. It was Adams who she ran into first, saying she thinks he went home. He mentioned that he might be going earlier than usual a few hours ago and hadn't seen him since. She got the same answer from Taub, Chase and Park.

She went into her office, rethinking when she saw him and he seemed fine to her. More than fine. Needing to know why he left early because she had a patient and needed him back, and because she wanted to know what happened, feeling a little worried, she lifted the phone off her receiver on her desk phone and dialed his cell number, hoping he would answer.

"Yeah?" she heard him say from a distance when he answered on the third ring.

"House where are you? Why am I on speaker?"

"I'm in the hospital."

"No you aren't. I just looked all around, your team told me that you went home."

"No, they should have told you that they think I've gone home, because I didn't tell them for sure that I was."

"Fine, then why the speaker phone?"

"Can you, bring me the phone?" she heard him ask someone and heard a woman's voice say 'sure' which she was surprised and a little jealous to hear.

"Okay, I'm here," he said after hitting the button to take him off speaker.

"Where are you? And who is that?" she asked as calmly as she could but from his pause, told her that she didn't come off all that calm.

"That's just my masseuse."

"What's this ones name? Bambi?" she asked rolling her eyes, now feeling a little angry.

"No. And what's with the tone? You know I have a masseuse for my leg. I need them around even more now that I'm not taking Vicodin."

She knew he had a point in what he was saying, and she really had no right to be mad at him for getting massaged where she knew he needed it. But, it stung that he obviously felt enough pain to call upon one, but, yet, turned down her offer last night.

"Well, I have a patient for you now. It's why I was calling." She didn't want him to know that she was worried about him a few minutes ago, so left it with the patient.

"Okay. I'll be done in about a half hour."

"Okay, and oh, House, are we going to tell Scott what happened last night?"

"Iiiiiii'm not going tonight," he made a face, knowing she would be upset, even though he knew she couldn't see it.

"Why?" she sounded hurt, and wasn't afraid to hide it and he picked up on it.

"It's got nothing to do with us. With what happened. It's just that, Nolan wants to start seeing me again, and this is the only day that works for him," he paused to see if she would say anything and went on when she didn't. "I was going to tell you, but, things happened, you got mad-"

"You could have told me last night."

"True. But, Scott knows. So, I'm sure you can still go by yourself and talk about me if you want like I WAS there. I mean," he let out a laugh, "I don't say much in those things anyway-"

"Goodbye, House," she moved the phone off her ear and heard his shout of protest to not hang up and put the phone back on her ear. "What?"

"I'll go tonight. I'll tell Nolan I'll see him next week. Tonight will be our last session together with Scott."

"Okay."

"I'll be down for my patient when I'm done."

She hung up the phone when she heard the sound of him disconnecting from his end and stared at the receiver after letting go of it for a few seconds. She should be happy that he agreed to one more session, but, wished it wasn't their last. She started to wonder if they could hold onto the good they were forming together if they didn't have someone to guide them when sensed they needed the help...


	29. Chapter 29

"Greg, I wasn't expecting to see you here today," Scott commented when seeing House walk in, trailing Cuddy by five minutes. Scott took notice of the smile on Cuddy's face when he announced his arrival.

"Yeah, I decided one more week. I called Nolan. He was," House paused and lifted his right eyebrow, looking at the floor thoughtful, "surprisingly okay to postpone."

"Well, I'm sure he didn't mean it personally. He probably just knew that-"

"Relax, it was a joke," House leaned back into his chair and glanced at Cuddy who had her head down staring into her lap. He kept his eye on her, wondering what she was thinking that was making her look sad.

"Greg," he turned his head to look at Scott slowly, letting his eyes linger on Cuddy until he saw she glanced up at Scott as well in anticipation of what he was going to say, then he let his eyes drift into Scott's direction.

"Wait." House interrupted Scott, and shifted himself back to Cuddy. "What are you upset about?"

"Who said I was upset?" she spat out defensively.

"You didn't have to say it. Look at your body language. The way you are looking down solemnly. Something got to you within the time I walked in and sat down, and I want you to tell me what the hell it is," he snapped.

Scott sat back in his chair to observe how they interact with each other without him picking out a topic to go with.

"Why are you so quick to end our sessions with Scott?" she asked, gripping onto the side of the chair that she was now positioned in to face him, as though preparing herself for a response she wasn't sure she was ready for.

"What do you mean end them? They were only temporary! My therapist couldn't take me because he had too many patients. He has room now. I told you this!" he screamed in his defense.

"But I don't want to stop!"

"No one's stopping you from seeing Scott without me! You already are aren't you? So why does it matter if-"

"I don't want to stop THESE sessions!" Cuddy took a deep breath when she saw he gave her a confused expression.

"Why?"

"I'm trying to learn to trust you again and I need him to-"

"You need him to do what? What do you think is going to happen if we become a couple again? You want him to be in our room while we're having sex too?" he screamed.

"No! I just," she took a breath and calmed herself to lower her tone, and to get the image of them having sex out of her head. "I just want to get to that point where it could be just us again. Without having people around to tell us what to say to each other, or how to feel towards one another. But, I don't think we're ready yet to do that without someone like Scott," she said, pleading with him to see it her way.

He sat silently, scowling at his cane that he picked up with his right hand and twirled in front of him while thinking. She sat and watched his process. Instead of looking at her, his eyes found Scott's eyes when his thumb stopped the twirl and set his cane back down against his chair. "Is there anyway we can make these sessions a different night so they don't conflict with my session with Nolan?"

"We can," Scott answered wide eyed, and scooted from his position to get closer to the table that sat in between his chair and theirs to grab his calendar book. "I have an open spot, same time as this on Wednesdays. If that works for the two of you?"

House nodded and glanced at Cuddy who was trying to hold back from smiling, and dropped her left hand on top of his right and squeezed it. "That works."

House stared at her hand and took his thumb and lightly rubbed the top of her hand and shifted his eyes to watch her reaction to his touch. She sighed slowly, fighting off a shiver that it sent her and he laid his hand flat and felt her hand lift off and put it back onto her side, laying on the armrest of her chair.

"Is there anything you guys would like to talk about today?" Scott asked after watching what just happened.

House turned his attention back to Scott. "She kissed me the other night," he blurted out.

Cuddy looked at the ceiling and sighed. It hit her that he never answered her when she asked if they should tell him so didn't expect it to come up.

"Is this true, Lisa?"

House swung his head from Scott to Cuddy and watched her agonize over telling Scott the truth with her head still pointed up toward the ceiling, and her eyes closed tight. "Yes, it's true." She let her head drop to face Scott and opened her eyes. "We were talking, and, drinking. And he was saying all these things that-I never knew he felt," she turned from Scott to House and saw that he was looking at her listening, then turned back to Scott. "And, he gave me leftovers of the pizza that we were eating to give to my daughter and he cares so much about her. I just really want to make this work with him, you know?" Scott nodded but she went on before he had a chance to say anything. "And so, when I was leaving, I just," she paused struggling to find the right words to express herself. "I wanted to show him," she gestured with her left arm to House but never looked at him, "that I was serious about this." She shrugged her shoulder, "and that's the only way that I thought to show him that."

Scott smiled at Cuddy, pleased with the long way she has come since the first time he spoke with her, when she wasn't sure that being around him was the right decision, and was thinking of leaving the hospital because he was there. Scott turned his attention from her to House. "How do you feel about what she just said, Greg?"

House fixated on Cuddy, "you mean to say that you didn't just want me that night?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not answering that," she retorted.

She turned to the left to look at House to see his response to that and all she saw was a smirk. She looked away from him and he focused his attention back on Scott, "I feel fine."

"Well, I hate to do this, but, it seems our time is up. So, I will see you both next Wednesday then?" he pressed on when seeing House grabbing his cane and standing up to leave.

"Yeah, Wednesday. See you then."

Cuddy got up after House did and they both walked out together. They walked to the elevator side by side but didn't speak. The doors opened for them after a ten second wait and Cuddy broke the silence when they stepped in. "I have a favor to ask you, and you can say no if you want."

She waited for acknowledgement from him, looking to the left of her which is where he stood and saw his head turn from looking at the numbers indicating what floors they were passing and had his left eyebrow raised when she saw his whole face pointed at her. "I have a hospital thing to go to tomorrow, and my sister can't watch Rachel so I was hoping-"

"That I can watch Rachel," he finished for her, looking back at the numbers.

"Yes."

"And by 'hospital thing' you mean a date?"

"No."

"So if I ask Wilson about a hospital thing going on, he will say that there is one."

"Yes."

He nodded and took a deep breath, stepping out of the elevator when the doors opened for them, "okay."

She lingered before walking out, causing him to get a head start thinking of what he just agreed to. She stepped out of the elevator before the doors closed on her, and smiled to herself when watching him limp to the door and stopped when he turned after opening it. "You coming? Or are you staying here? There's a psych ward in this place isn't there? You need to stop there first?"

She let out a laugh and started walking towards the door and out of it to pass him. "Shut up, House," she said playfully, leaving him behind...


	30. Chapter 30

House limped over to his front door when he heard repeated knocking from the kitchen. "Will you hang the fuuuu-"

He caught himself when he saw Rachel beaming up at him when he flung the door open, changing his expression of anger to neutral.

"Sorry, I was trying to get her to stop banging," Cuddy told him sheepishly.

Rachel ran into his apartment and went straight for his piano, sitting at the seat he had next to it. "Play me something, House!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Right now?" he asked showing fake excitement.

"Yes!"

"Right this second?" he continued in the same tone.

"Yes!"

"Oooohhhh I would but, no."

She giggled uncontrollably and started pounding on the keys herself. "I'll play until you play!"

"Sugar for dinner?" he asked when swinging himself back towards the door to face Cuddy.

"No," she answered, looking at her little girl who had a huge smile on her face. "She's just, happy to see you."

"Alright," he turned his head to watch Rachel, "you go. I got this."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go away now."

Before she got a chance to say anything else, he closed the door on her face. She rolled her right hand into a fist to knock on the door but when she heard him mumble something to Rachel that she couldn't make out, hearing Rachel laughing loudly in response, she loosened her hand, and left his front door.

"So you want me to play something?" House asked Rachel, limping over to where she was sitting.

"Yeah!" she slid over to make room for him but he didn't sit down. Instead he reached past her and took a guitar that was hung on his wall. "You play that too?" she asked in awe.

"Sure I do. You think they are just here for decoration?"

He held the guitar in his left hand, using his cane with his right and sat down on the couch and propped it onto his leg and started to tune it. Rachel slid off of the seat she was sitting on and scurried over to the couch next to him to listen to him play.

She studied his hands as he tuned it, and when he was done, she leaned on the armrest of the couch, facing him with her legs stretched out that were inches away from touching his and watched him tilt his head to the right and closed his eyes and started strumming.

"Why do you close your eyes?" she questioned over his playing.

"Helps me concentrate," he answered.

"Did you ever play for Mommy?"

"When she wanted me to."

"Did she like it?"

"I think she did."

"I think she did too!" Rachel commented with a smile that he couldn't see, still having his eyes closed. "House?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you miss Mommy?"

He heard her tone sound sad. He opened his eyes and put his left hand over the guitar strings to stop the sound of playing and set his guitar on the coffee table when he saw the expression matched her tone. "I just saw her. How can I miss her?"

Rachel tucked her left foot close to her and started pulling at a piece of her pant leg, something he noticed she does when she was nervous. She needed to fidget with something. "That's not how I mean," she told him without looking up at him, keeping her focus on her pants.

House didn't know how to answer. He couldn't pour his heart out to her, she was only a kid. "Sure, yeah, I miss her," he shrugged.

Rachel looked away from her leg and up at him. "I think, even though I said the other day she hates you. I think really, she misses you." She lowered her head again, not wanting to see his reaction.

He studied her as she did this, and concluded that she didn't want to see him because she was afraid to see a reaction from him she didn't want. It amazed him how mature she was for her age. Wilson told him when Cuddy came to the hospital to visit him that she confided in Wilson, and told him how much Rachel reminded her of him. When he was told this, he thought the immaturity is what she meant. Seeing Rachel in front of him, he now saw what it was. It was her way of thinking. She thought like an adult, and observed things just like he does.

House didn't know what to say to her statement. So, he changed the subject. "You hungry?"

"Yeah," she said meekly.

"Come on then, what do you want?"

She glanced up hopeful "do you have cheese? I want a grilled cheese sandwich!" she shouted with excitement and he was relieved to see that she went back to the way she was when she arrived. He didn't want to be forced to talk about Cuddy with her.

He grabbed his cane and limped into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to get everything he needed and pawed at a pan and placed it on the burner he uses the most.

He saw her walk down the hall in the corner of his eye, which he assumed was to go to the bathroom, but didn't hear a door close. "What are you doing, kid?" When there was no answer, he left his cane leaning on the door of the refrigerator and gripped his thigh and went into the hall, seeing her standing in the doorway of the bathroom looking at the tub. "What is it?"

"What did you do that made you almost die in there? Did something fall on you?" Rachel asked, keeping her eye on the tub.

House sighed and looked up, regretting calling Cuddy that night. He didn't think about how she'd bring Rachel along. And her question told him that Cuddy never told her the real story of what happened to him that night. "Yeah, something fell, but it's gone now. I moved it so it doesn't happen again," he said, going along with the lie and put his left palm on the top of her head to steer her back in the direction of the living room.

"Are you lying?"

"No."

"But you say everybody lies. How do I know you're not lying to me now?"

"Because I said I'm not," he snapped, getting annoyed with how persistent she was.

She sensed his annoyance and left it alone, but removed his hand from her head that was still guiding her back to the living room, now halfway through his hallway. She ran back in the direction of the bathroom. "I have to pee!" she shouted.

He went back into the kitchen to make her the sandwich she requested and they played games for the rest of the night. She grabbed items that he had lying on top of his tables and threw them at him and insisted he threw it back.

He was relieved that she never brought up what happened to him the night he tried to operate on himself, or Cuddy for the rest of the night. Once he fed her she was full of energy and wanted to climb all around and play with everything she could get her hands on that he didn't have mounted down to anything.

House didn't mind. He played with her until his leg started bothering him. She asked where his candy was that helps it and explained that he had different candy when she saw the Ibuprofen and said it looked different then she remembered.

She sat on the couch when he did, knowing he had to rest his leg and he put the TV on to keep her busy. He got a call from Cuddy a few minutes into the cartoon they were watching apologizing for it being so late but she should be around to pick her up soon.

He honestly had no idea it was late. He didn't notice the time going by with Rachel around.

Cuddy arrived at his place an hour after her call and knocked on the door several times. She put her ear up to the door, hearing a cartoon she recognized so knew they were there, but were maybe in a different room. She remembered the times they were in his bedroom when they were a couple. It always seemed they could barely hear the door from there. So, she reached over for his hidden key, remembering where he hid it, and opened the door herself.

The living room looked clear. She tiptoed into the bedroom, but they weren't there either. She saw the bathroom door open and empty. Panic surged through her. She rushed through the hallway and let out a sigh of relief when she saw the top of House's head on the armrest of the couch. She looked curiously at him, wondering where Rachel was until she got closer.

She put her hand over her mouth at the sight of them, not believing what she was seeing. House was laying on his back, his right arm hanging down off the couch, with Rachel stomach down, laying on top of him, with House's left arm loosely draped around her back. They were both sleeping.

She didn't want to bother either of them but she knew she had to get Rachel home. She looked around for a piece of paper and pen and for the first time, got a good look at the apartment. It was a mess.

She used to come home to the same kind of mess when she left House with Rachel at their place. "It's not House's fault. I wanted him to play with me!" was always Rachel's answer when she saw Cuddy upset with him.

She found what she was looking for and scribbled a note to House that read: "House- I took Rachel (got in using your hidden key-put it back where I got it) thanks for watching her. Didn't want to wake you."

She stared at the note, with the pen still in her hand. She used to write "love, Cuddy" on all the notes she left for him when they were together. This was the first one she wrote since then. She turned from his desk and glanced over at him. She watched as they both slowly moved from their breathing and looked back at the note. She put the pen to the paper and signed, "thanks again, Cuddy."

She tiptoed over to the coffee table, placed the note where he could see it and watched the rhythm of his breathing as she carefully moved his left arm off Rachel and scooped her and began to lift.

Rachel only got a couple inches away when Cuddy felt as though she was snagged on something. She looked down and saw that Rachel had part of House's t-shirt in her left fist. Cuddy flashed back to the night she kissed him and she did the same thing. After pushing that memory aside, she placed Rachel back down and opened her fist to let go of his shirt.

She freed her, and held Rachel close, who threw her arms around Cuddy, still asleep.

She opened the apartment door and heard House shift positions on the couch and quietly closed it behind her, making sure it was locked.

Once on the other side of the door she got a better grip on Rachel and pushed up her purse strap that was on her right shoulder to better secure it, while trying to ignore that Rachel had House's scent all over her...


	31. Chapter 31

"Were you ever planning on telling me where you really were last night?" House asked, still focused on the computer screen in front of him in his office.

"How did you know it was me?" Cuddy questioned.

"I know how my team sounds when they come in. I knew it wasn't them. And Wilson's not here yet. Who else would come in here voluntarily?"

"How did you find out?"

He swiveled in his chair and looked at her angrily. "You really should have thought it through before you told Wilson." Cuddy sighed, dropping her shoulders, her body language changing to show sympathy for him. He knew what her silence was telling him. "So, you expect things to work with us, when you ask me to watch Rachel, while you go to interviews for different hospitals? How do you think we will get any better if you run away again?" his anger showed in his face and now his voice.

"I'm not running away. I-"

"But you are!" he shouted.

"I'm not going anywhere! It wasn't an actual job interview."

His piercing stare felt like it was going right through her. "You think THAT is going to make me feel better? What does not an 'actual job interview' even mean? How do you expect me to be honest with you, when you can't even be honest with me? We aren't getting anywhere, Cuddy!"

"I'm sorry," she announced apologetically. "I didn't know how you would take it. I wanted to tell you but I knew that you would turn it into- this. An argument. But, this wasn't about us. It was about me."

He shook his head in disbelief. "How do you expect me to see the two of us as an 'us' when you are keeping yourself as 'you?'"

"House, I didn't want to come here to fight."

"Then why did you come here?"

She sighed, and pressed her lips together, taking a second to answer. "I came in here, to tell you about what happened last night and to tell you that they want you."

He tilted his head back, lowering his eyes, staying on her and looked at her questionably. "Who is 'they,' and what do they want me for?"

"My old hospital. They want you to go to their hospital and take your team with you."

"Why did you say this was about you, when it was really about me? To throw me off? And I thought they didn't like me."

"They do now. They are struggling to get patients and they think that if they have you on staff, then you will help them. They wanted to talk to me about it before they talked to you. To see what I thought. And, no, it's not just about you. It's also about my hospital."

"Right. And I'm just an employee," he hissed. "I forgot."

"Don't do this." He stared at her without a word. "Are you going to take it or not? Because I need to-"

"Figure out what you're going to turn my office into?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Is that your confession that I guessed right about why you were asking?"

"You're deflecting."

"So are you." They both narrowed their eyes, staring at one another.

"Let me know your answer by the end of the day," she turned on her heel and strutted out of his office.

"So, what is it?" Cuddy asked House when he barged into her office having all his stuff, ready to leave hours later.

"Do you want me to go?"

"That's not what I asked you to tell me at the end of the day is it?"

"It will help me determine what to tell you," he threw his stuff on her couch and started pacing in front of her desk. "If you were to say you want me to take it, then I would feel like I'm not needed here, so, why stay? Then I would consider it. But, if you say that you want me to stay then-"

"Don't stay because I want you to."

He stopped to look at her. He gripped his right thigh in annoyance and reached for an Ibuprofen from his jacket pocket he was wearing. "Not if you wanted me to personally. If you wanted me to stay for the hospital." He squeezed his eyes shut in pain and continued to pace after popping a couple pills, sliding the bottle back in his pocket. "If you were to tell me you wanted me to go because you really wanted my team to go, then I would understand. But I don't see why-"

"House," she interrupted to stop his ranting, and because she knew how much pain he was in by pacing. He has claimed that walking helps the pain but, it didn't seem to be today. He stopped moving and leaned on his cane when facing her. "If you want to go, I won't stop you. If you want to stay I won't stop you."

He exhaled and tilted his head to his left and looked down. "So, you don't care either way?"

"I want you to be happy."

He shook his head again. "Fine. I'll do what I want. You can do what you want," he turned to walk out and opened the door. "I'm staying," he called out over his shoulder and closed the door.

She smiled at his decision, but it started to drift when she realized her use of "I" and "you" matching his earlier complaint of distancing them as an 'us,' which is why he said he'll do what he wants when she does what she wants.

Cuddy got up from her chair to stop him to correct herself, and stop him from thinking that's what she was trying to do. But her desk phone rang when she reached her door. She sighed when she saw him walk out of the lobby, knowing she had to answer it. She turned her head and walked over to the ringing phone...


	32. Chapter 32

Cuddy arrived at House's apartment to to explain to him that it wasn't her idea to have him go to the other hospital, it was theirs.

She saw his motorcycle in the front that told her he was home. She got out of her car and walked up to his front door. She listened for any noise first, but when she heard none, she knocked.

He opened the door and the way he looked startled her. He was breathing heavy, and was clutching his leg so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, as though he were in so much pain, but fighting it. "House, what happened?" she instinctively reached for his cheek but he pulled away and opened the door wider.

"Nothing." He limped over to the desk that was on his left and she saw him staring at the two different pill bottles and grabbed the Vicodin.

"Is the pain really that bad?"

He didn't answer. He went over to the couch after he popped three in his mouth.

She started to feel responsible for what was going on with him. He was fine yesterday, and before then. But today, after he heard that she was talking to another hospital to take him away from Princeton-Plainsboro, he was in agony. "What do you want?" he let his body drop onto the couch and leaned his head back, never letting go of his leg.

"It wasn't my idea," she said in a sad tone, watching sympathetically as he rubbed his leg. She couldn't take it anymore. She walked around to the other side of the couch and slid in between him and the armrest. "What are you doing?" he asked on guard.

"Just let me do this," she told him softly. He scooted over further into the couch to give her room and she lifted his right hand off his thigh, feeling him watch her as she did, and she started massaging it like she used to. He dropped his head back again and closed his eyes, letting out a moan.

His moan reminded her of their nights together and suddenly became jealous of the masseuse he had a few days back, knowing that he was most likely moaning at her touch also. Hearing it made her weak and part of her wanted to stop because of it, but she knew it was a sign that she was helping him so pushed her own selfishness aside and continued; deciding to look at it as taking pleasure in knowing she was making him feel better.

"House, about what I was saying," she started again, when she realized that he hasn't said anything in response yet. "It wasn't my idea to relocate you to a different hospital. They came to me, interested in you, and wanted to talk to me about it. That was all," he let out another moan.

"So you didn't go in there trying to talk them into taking me?" he asked, eyes still closed.

"No," she chuckled, "I was actually trying to point out your flaws in hopes that they would decide they didn't want you after all." She kept her eye on him when she said that and saw his lips curve into a smile.

"Didn't work though, did it?"

"No," she looked away from him and down at his leg as she could see where she was rubbing.

"So, that should tell you that all my 'flaws,' as you call them, are things only you see as flaws. You want everything to be so perfect all the time, you see flaws in everyone. Even yourself."

She glanced back up at him. His eyes were open now, and his head was pointed at her, their eyes now locked with each others.

She kept up rhythmic motion in her massage, and House dropped his eyes from hers to her chest, watching as her massaging was moving her breasts. "House," she said sternly, knowing what he was doing. Trying to keep him in line because she didn't trust herself to stop him if he hadn't.

His eyes went back to hers. "Can't you just let me have this one?" She arched her right eyebrow at him, but didn't answer him either way, looking back down, so he continued speaking. "If you didn't really want me to go, then why tell me? Why give me the option to leave?" he narrowed his eyes, anticipating her answer.

She sighed and kept her eyes down on his leg. "I was trying to be less controlling," she noticed a bulge in his pants had grown and let go of his leg, knowing he was getting aroused.

She looked back up at him and he was looking thoughtful at her. "You ran the risk of me leaving to prove that you can be less controlling? How do you know I wouldn't have taken the offer?" he challenged.

She scoffed, "you wouldn't have taken it. You may have met with them, but, once you realized how much crap I let you get away with..you would come clawing back," she smirked.

He shifted his position and she knew he was trying to hide what was going on in his pants. "I should get going," she announced, "how's your leg?"

"It feels better," he answered.

"Good," she got up off the couch quickly and headed toward the front door.

"Cuddy," he called out, and she turned to look at him and saw he shifted around, his left arm resting on the top of the couch to see her. "I never would have gone and worked there. Even if they let me get away with as much crap as you."

She gave him a closed mouth smile and walked back over to him. His eyes stayed on her studying her movement as she got closer and bent down and kissed him on his right cheek. She saw he still looked at her the same way at this gesture when she pulled away, "what was that for?" he questioned. She smiled at him without answering, and went back to the front door and let herself out...


	33. Chapter 33

Cuddy had been standing in House's office for five minutes the next morning and watched as he continued to throw his tennis ball up against the wall above his computer as though she wasn't even there. "House, will you stop doing that?" She crossed her arms over her chest, her right hand holding a file, when he paused, silently thinking over her question, then threw the ball back against the wall and caught it. "House!"

He turned his head to his right to acknowledge her, watching her angry expression start to fade away and her arms dropping to her side. "Hi, Cuddy, I didn't hear you come in." He threw the ball against the wall again, "what do you need?"

"I have a patient for you," she lifted the file in her hand to show him and slammed it on his desk. "What is your problem today?" she pressed on, her tone revealing her annoyance with him.

He placed the ball back onto its stand and leaned forward to look at the file without opening or touching it, and leaned back into his chair.

"After you left my apartment last night, I started building a theory to see how much crap I can get away with from you. I decided to start out small," he motioned his right hand at the ball, "and I was planning on escalating from there. Although, now that I see that annoyed you as much as it has, I'm thinking maybe you have changed your tolerance level for crap since there was that big gap of time since we've been working together, which means, working here may not be as much fun for me anymore, which means, I have to spend my time getting you back into the level you were at, since I decided to not go. That is the only way I see us working in this environment without one of us killing the other, which also means, I don't have time for the patient that you just gave me because my time is otherwise occupied."

She raised her right eyebrow and pressed her lips together tightly, frustrated with his behavior. "So, you aren't going to take this patient? You're going to let her die because you think you need to prove what a pain in the ass you can really be? Nice, thanks a lot," she reached for the file, which he stopped her from taking by pulling from the other side.

"A girl?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "So now that matters?"

"Yeah, if it were a guy that would be no fun for me, I'd have nothing good to look at." She released her grip on the file and let him take it and watched as he opened it up and scanned what it said about the patient. "I can do both."

"Are you sure, it's not cutting into anything of yours? There aren't any television shows you watch at this time?" she asked sarcastically.

He lowered the file so he could see her, "it's so sweet that you care, but, no, my television schedule is clear. So, what do we got?"

"Everything is in there, I have to get down to my office," Cuddy turned on her heel to leave. She was enjoying his behavior because it seemed to be their normal, but hid any tell, any expression that would give her away by turning her back on him.

"Why are you in such a rush to get out of here?"

She turned back around to face him, "unlike you, I actually do the work that I'm supposed to do before going home."

"Are you saying I don't save lives? That I don't do my job?" he challenged.

"From the looks of when I walked in here, and right now, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"I'm insulted by the accusation. I'm holding the file, I'm considering gathering up my team to get them to run tests, that's work."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes staring him down, "is this all part of your plan to go with your theory to see how fast you can push me to the limit in seeing how much crap I will take from you?"

"If it were, is it working?"

"Do I look angry?" she spat out in a challenge.

He wrinkled his nose, "A little, since you came here, but, I thought angry was your default expression. I need to get you past angry, I need to make you furious. Then I know how far I can push you."

She scoffed, "it's been a long time since you've worked with me, House. We've just passed each other casually, talked when we had to since I've been back. The past couple of days is the closest thing we've come to being how we used to be," she leaned forward across his desk, "just go ahead and try and make me furious. You'll be sorry when you do," she straightened her stance, smirked at him and walked out of his office.

"I doubt it!" House shouted out to her, referring to his being sorry. Cuddy smiled when walking to the elevator. She was feeling a little closer to him now that she knows he was trying, and she was trying, that he's not going anywhere, he's continuing the therapy sessions with her and Scott, and he's back to his pranks and testing his limits with her. Things in Princeton-Plainsboro looked good at the moment, and that's as far into the future that she wished to look, never knowing what could happen next, she chose to enjoy right now...


	34. Chapter 34

Cuddy walked out of exam room three in the Clinic just having done a consult and headed towards her office when she heard a repetitive thumping sound coming from the lobby. She turned her head to see what it was and she saw people walking past, employees and patients, hunched and with their arms up protecting their heads from an all too familiar over-sized tennis ball bouncing around the walls and caught from a hand that she could only see part of from where she stood, from the second story.

She stormed over and walked into the lobby and caught the tennis ball in both hands that bounced on the floor and from there, went straight into her direction. She glared up at House who hung half his body over the railing with a smirk. "What is this all about?" she asked him, still holding his tennis ball.

"My office is too small. It's getting harder to think in there. This works much better, so, if you could just-" he lifted his left arm, ready to catch his ball, expecting her to throw it back to him.

She smiled at him and turned around to go back through the Clinic to get to her office, hearing his cane hit the floor before the doors closed all the way.

Cuddy sat back at her desk and opened the second draw and stuck his ball in there and closed it. She noticed she had a new email waiting for her. She clicked on the icon to open it and saw that it was an email from Scott. She remembered the session she gave him all her information and he said he would only use it if something came up and he had to cancel a session for whatever reason. She sighed and took a deep breath before she started reading it.

Her office door swung open when she got as far as "Lisa, For this weeks session-"

"Where's my ball?" House demanded standing in her doorway.

She leaned back in her chair folding her arms over her chest. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He lifted his cane and used the end to point at her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," he limped over to her desk and made his way around it over to her side. She inhaled trying to calm herself with him being so close to her. He was leaning down, poking his head around her in all different areas looking for it, getting a little too close to her. He saw her body language change in the corner of his eye and stood up straight and looked at her. "Why are you so on edge? You act like I've never got in your personal space before, which, I've done a lot more then invade, if you remember," he kept his eye on her.

She remembered. All those nights they spent together but never slept because they were too busy having sex, both going to work the next day feeling exhausted, constantly needing coffee to keep them going. He held her gaze leaving her feeling like he was reading every thought that was going through her mind. "And anyway," he started, "you're the one who had kissed me on the cheek and the mouth recently." He went back to looking for what he came for and a shiver went down her back thinking of when she kissed him on the mouth, remembering the feel of his tongue when she lightly caressed it with her own, made her want to kiss him again but she tried to push the feeling away. She couldn't succumb to it now, not at the hospital, not where anyone can walk in, or walk by and see.

He opened the drawer, "ah ha!" he lifted it up and kissed it, "hello bally. I'll never let you get taken from me again."

Cuddy watched him reunite with his favorite toy and pushed away the stupid feeling of being jealous over the way he talked to it. He started heading towards the door to leave her office and she called out his name. She watched him swivel his body around to face her and she squeezed her eyes shut, knowing it was too late to not say what her gut feeling was telling her.

"What is it Cuddy?" she heard him ask, seeing her demeanor.

"You want to come over for dinner tonight?" she asked quickly, opening one eye at a time to see his reaction and answer.

His raised his left eyebrow at her and straightened his stance from leaning on his cane, with his ball still clutched in his left hand. "Your place? You really want me to know where you live?"

She shrugged her left shoulder, "you have to know eventually, right? If we're serious about us."

He inhaled and let it out slowly, "I can't tonight."

"Of course, you probably have a date or a- hooker coming over. I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"I can't because I have a session with Nolan tonight," he corrected her.

"Oh," her body relaxed, feeling relieved that her reasoning as to why he couldn't come over was wrong.

"How about Friday night? I can come over then, and today is Tuesday, so it gives you plenty of time to decide you don't want me over if you change your mind."

She smiled at his suggestion, "okay then, Friday."

She watched as he hesitantly opened the door with his right hand which triggered his cane to bang around on her door due to using the hand that held it and watched him limp away until she couldn't see him anymore.

She thought over what she just did. It terrified her, but also excited her to know that House will soon know where she lives again. She truly believed that him knowing will be a giant step forward for them.

She glanced away from the door and over to the email from Scott that was still open and read that he had to reschedule her solo session with him that was supposed to be this Thursday to next Tuesday.

She hit the reply button and told him that it was fine and hit send, watching the composed email disappear. She had other things to think about...


	35. Chapter 35

House took in his surroundings. He was surprised at how much Nolan's office stayed the same. He would have expected a different picture to be hung, or new chairs, but it was all exactly how he remembered it looking, and felt oddly comforted by it.

"Would you like me to start?" Nolan asked.

"You can if you want," House shrugged.

"It's good to see you."

"You probably say that to everyone."

"True, but, I only really mean it for some people."

House smiled at Nolan amused by his answer. He inhaled and spoke. "Cuddy asked me to dinner Friday night, at her place."

Nolan leaned forward in his chair, "is this the first time you'll be at her new place since the incident?"

"Since I drove my car into her old house? Yes, it is."

"Was this her idea, or yours?"

"It was hers."

Nolan widened his eyes and got out of his leaning position to one more comfortable. "This is good."

"How is it good? What if I do something stupid again?"

Nolan furrowed his brow at House, leaning forward again, "you want to move forward and past this with her don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then, you'll have to know where she lives eventually. The fact that she has become comfortable enough to invite you over and take that step is good."

House fell into silence. He stared out the window while holding his cane in his right hand, bouncing the tip of it on the floor rhythmically while thinking over how this was good. He stopped after his fifth bounce and held his cane steady, and his eyes found Nolan's again. "The thing that bothers me is it seems soon."

"Is it though? If you think about how long it has been since she worked at Princeton with you, to the time she came back, and then the time it took her after coming back to get to this point, is it really too soon for you? Or, are you not sure you want this to happen, afraid that you'll push her away again somehow?"

"How do you know all this if this is the first time I've seen you since," House paused thinking back, "since the last time I've seen you?"

"Scott gave me notes."

House scowled, "that Scott has a big mouth."

"It was better than the alternative; wait for you to tell me everything and that could take months. We're both trying to help you, House. He shared his notes with me the same way I shared mine with him to get to know you. To know what we are dealing with."

House didn't retort back. He saw logic in their note sharing and steered the conversation back to what was on his mind. "I don't want to push her away."

"Then accept her offer, go to dinner, and see what happens." Nolan watched House as he looked at the table that sat in between them and started bouncing his cane again, thinking over the advice he was just given. "Is there anything else that has been bothering you lately?" Nolan asked, trying to get House to talk more by having him focus on something else until he is ready to talk about Cuddy.

"Are you trying to hint to me that we should be talking about something else?" House inquired, stopping his cane from bouncing again while looking away from the table, back at Nolan.

Nolan shrugged, "I don't know, are you getting along with your team? Are there any patients you want to talk about? I know some of them can bother you if you have a hard case."

"No, my team and I are fine, and my patients have been cured."

"Okay," Nolan made himself comfortable in his chair. The tactic of a different subject didn't work so he had to push a little harder to start the conversation that he knew House wanted to have. "Then let's talk about Cuddy. Start from the beginning. What was going through your mind when you saw her show up as your visitor when you were a patient in the hospital?"

"Didn't you just tell me you have notes on all of this?" House asked, trying to get out of a conversation he wasn't sure he wanted to have yet.

"I do. But, I'd still like to hear it from you. You may be feeling something that aren't in these notes, and I'd like to find out what they are," Nolan replied calmly, pushing a little more.

House sighed and mirrored Nolan by making himself more comfortable, knowing that when Nolan talks to him the way he just did, there won't be anyway he can weasel out of talking. House began telling him the story of being admitted into the hospital and finding out Wilson had made the call to Cuddy by her showing up and what had happened since that day...


	36. Chapter 36

Cuddy gave House her address on Friday when she stopped by his office on her way home, telling him to be there by 7:30. He took the piece of paper from her startled that she was actually going through with it after she had days to change her mind. She awkwardly started walking towards the door, turned to face him again and said parting words of seeing him later and left his office with all her stuff, not needing to linger in the hospital any longer.

He watched her walk away through the glass walls as long as the hallway view from his desk allowed him and slowly unfolded the piece of paper she handed to him.

He knew exactly where it was. It was fifteen minutes from the hospital, which was in the opposite direction of his apartment, which he figured would take him a half hour to get to her place from his. He had passed her street countless times. He never noticed her car, but then again, he wasn't looking for it, and more times than not, she was at the hospital whenever he cut through that area.

He looked at his wristwatch that read 5:05. He had just a little over two hours until he was expected to be there. It dawned on him that he had no idea what to expect out of this. They had both very conveniently been too busy to talk anything about it. The only interaction they have had has been when she had a patient for him, and he reported back to her when he needed an okay, or to tell her he was free for another case.

Until just now.

His eyes roamed his office and leaned forward in his chair to peek into the the adjoining room and saw he was completely alone. He leaned back in further confusion, trying to think back to the last time he saw any member of his team, and where they said they would be. He remembered seeing Taub a half hour earlier saying he was on his way to the lab. House grabbed his cane, slipped the piece of paper that Cuddy gave him into his right jean pocket and headed for the laboratory, where he expected to see them all working hard so he didn't have to.

"Oh good, you're here. We've ran the tests and-"

"Don't care," House interrupted Chase, limping into the lab and saw they were all in there like he expected.

"You..don't care about the patient? The one who you told us to run these tests for?" Park asked trying to make sense of his reaction out loud.

"Yes, right now, I don't care. That's not what I came down here to tell you, or find out. What I did come here for was to tell all of you that my phone tonight, isn't working."

"What did you do to it?" Adams asked.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to tell you to not call me. For any reason."

"But what if-" Park started.

"You need my opinion?" House finished for her.

"Yeah."

"It's time you learn how to ride the big person bike. I won't be around to hold the seat until you're ready for me to let go forever, so, tonight, I'm letting go. Do whatever you think is best for the patient, and I'll be back in the morning to see if you've managed to not killed her...or, afternoon. I'll be back sometime tomorrow." Without another word, House turned his back to his team and limped out of the lab, not giving them another chance to argue his decision, and went to his office to gather up all of his stuff to leave for the day.

House reached his apartment twenty minutes later, not entirely sure how. All he kept thinking about was Cuddy and what was about to happen, or, not happen within the next few hours the whole way that he blindly arrived home. He dug for his keys in his pocket and heard his cell phone ring in his opposite jean pocket and rolled his eyes and flipped it open to answer without looking at the display screen. "What did I tell you about letting go of the seat?" he snarled into the phone.

"What?"

He heard Cuddy's voice on the other end sounding confused. He gripped tightly onto his cane frustrated with himself for not having looked at who was calling. "Sorry, I thought you were my team. Is anything wrong?" he felt queasy by the idea that she might be calling to cancel and tell him she didn't want him over after all, that it was a big mistake and to forget the invite all together.

"I was just calling to tell you that the time changed." He moved the phone down away from his mouth and let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't changed her mind about the dinner. "My sister is going to pick up Rachel for her to spend the night, but, she can't get here until 8:00. So, I'm thinking maybe 8:30 instead of 7:30? Does that work for you?"

He shifted his phone back up to his mouth to answer, "yeah, I can do 8:30, that's fine."

"Okay, good. I'll see you at 8:30 then."

"Yeah, see you." He closed his phone, disconnecting from his end and thought over what she just told him before opening his front door. Rachel was leaving for the night, which meant for however long this dinner of theirs will last, they will be alone, uninterrupted the whole time.

The queasy feeling returned and he pushed it away and pulled his keys out to let himself into the apartment, closing the door behind him. He had more time than he did a second ago and scanned his place to try and find something to occupy himself with until it was time to be at her place. His gaze landed on his piano and dumped all his stuff on the floor near the entrance and limped over to the seat, sat down and lifted the cover. He looked down at it, and slid his fingers through all the keys before he started playing.

He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes and smiled, listing all the songs that Cuddy loved to hear him play when they left his bedroom in the morning from nights that she stayed over and played them all over and over until he had to get ready...


	37. Chapter 37

House stopped his motorcycle once he found number 1312 on the familiar street that he passed on occasion. He ripped off the helmet, and ran his left hand through his hair to get rid of his helmet hair and grabbed his right leg to guide it around his bike to get off. He kept his eye on the house while setting his helmet on the seat to adjust the backpack he also brought with him and lifted it when he was done, not taking the risk of leaving it there with the possibility of it being stolen.

He felt his heart start beating faster in his chest when he knew he couldn't stall anymore. He glanced quickly at his wristwatch that read 8:40. He was late and didn't want to make things worse. He nervously reached her front door and took a breath before using his cane to knock.

He looked down at his feet and heard her getting closer and opened the door. He slowly looked up when she did and saw the confused look on her face and he tried to guess what it could mean, starting to wonder if he remembered the right time. "Did you come from the hospital?"

He scowled slightly, that she didn't see he was in different clothes. He sure as hell noticed that she was in a red dress that clung to her every curve and not the black dress suit she had on earlier. "No, I had to bring my helmet because I took my motorcycle and I brought my backpack because," he set his cane against the wall next to her door and slipped the right strap down and yanked at the side of it to unzip it and he pulled out a bottle of wine, "of this," he finished when he showed her.

"Oh," she answered with a hint of a smile and gazed into his eyes. "Come in." She slid to the side of the door, at his left to give him some room. Before he went through, he left his stuff on a table she had near the door. He took a couple steps in and almost passed her when he felt her tug at the wine bottle and looked at her, away from glancing around the entrance, "I'll open this and get a couple glasses." He nodded and continued to look around.

"Should I follow you?" he asked awkwardly.

"Yeah," she smiled lightly, closing the door once he was all the way through it and led him to the kitchen. He let his eyes roam around the different parts of her house, keeping her in the corner of his eye to see where he should be going, and because it had been so long since she dressed like that only for him with no plans of leaving the house, he was trying to soak up every second he could of the sight of her.

When they reached the kitchen she motioned for him to take a seat at the table that sat in the corner. He sat and extended his right leg after hanging his cane on the back of the chair he chose. She lifted herself by standing on her toes to reach the top shelf of her cupboard to get to the wine glasses and his eyes traveled up her legs, watching as her dress moved with her, revealing more of her upper thigh leaving very little to the imagination which wasn't hard for him to do in the first place. It had been years, but he remembered every inch of her body.

He glanced down at the floor when he saw she flattened her feet and opened the wine bottle and heard her pouring wine into the glasses both to the top. She turned and held them carefully and set one down in front of House and next to the chair that sat across from him. He arched his right eyebrow at the glass, "you trying to get me drunk to take advantage?" he asked, bringing the glass up to his mouth, looking at her above the rim.

She smiled softly, "you're the one who brought it, I should be asking you the same thing," she commented, lifting her glass, mimicking his action.

He drank a couple sips, placed it back down and smirked at her response. "So, how is this supposed to go?" he asked.

"Do you have to analyze everything for answers? Can't you just let things happen as they come?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why you invited me here; why now," he stated casually, taking another sip of his wine.

She sighed, not really knowing why she did. It just felt right. "I guess, I just wanted to get this over with. To have you come here and see where I live. There's only so much we can do to try and get past what happened between us without doing this, so, I thought why not? It seemed as good a time as any."

He nodded, "okay," he kept his eye on the wine glass in front of him. He was thinking things through and knew if he looked at her while he did it, it would feel like she would be reading his thoughts, and he wasn't ready for that yet. He inhaled and smelt what she had cooking and furrowed his brow at her when he noticed it smelt familiar. "Is that-?" he pointed towards the smell and she smiled.

"It is. I'm making the lasagna you taught me how to make."

He leaned back in his chair stunned, "you remembered how to make it? I taught you that years ago."

She wrinkled her nose, "I'm not completely sure if I did it right, but I'm pretty sure I-" she paused when she saw him reach for his cane behind him and stood up, and headed in the direction of the oven and opened it. She shifted in her seat and watched him tilt his head to study it and pointed his left pointer finger into the corner of it and then stuck it in his mouth. "House!"

He shifted to look at her, and pulled his finger out and wiped it on his jeans. "Tastes like you got it. Still needs a couple minutes though," he turned back to close the oven and she smiled, shaking her head and saw he grabbed the wine bottle before returning to his seat.

He sat down and pulled her wine glass to him first and filled it back to the top and did the same to his own glass. He narrowed his eyes on the bottle when he was done and factored how much they have drank already and how much of the night there is left. "Hmm, I don't think this bottle will last too much longer," he announced, his gaze still on it and sat it down. "Good thing I didn't come with just one," he smiled with his eyes widened and got up again to go to his backpack that he left with his helmet near the door to pull the second bottle out. He came back with it and caught a glimpse of a smile that Cuddy had on her face that quickly went away when she sensed him back. "The only thing is, if you think we need more, well, I'll have to go back out because this is-"

"I have some in case we do," she interrupted.

He smiled to himself knowing that meant that this night might go on longer than he thought. When he first arrived he was hoping it would be a quick dinner. But now that he had gotten inside, and the awkwardness only seemed to last until she opened the door, he hoped it would be a long one. There was no work the next day, and Rachel wasn't going to be home until the next morning. They both picked up their wine glasses at the same time and looked across the table into each others eyes above the rims of their glasses...


	38. Chapter 38

Cuddy set her glass down first, watching House as he continued to drink his wine when she heard a faint ringing coming from the hallway. She looked around thinking it was her own but remembered hers was off and saw House's annoyed expression when he set his glass down. "Are you going to get that?" she asked him.

"No, it's my team. I told them to not call me tonight." She gave him the disapproving boss look. "What? They can't expect me to hold their hand through every decision they make," he whined.

"Answer your phone," she told him sternly.

House scowled and looked relieved when the ringing stopped. "Can't. See, they hung up." A second later it rang again.

"House."

He let out a sigh, "fine," he reached around to grab his cane and she smiled as he passed her to get to his backpack where he left his phone. "What?" he asked irritated.

"Our patient just started seizing. So far she has had three in the last hour," Park told House from her end.

"And you want me to do what?"

"We need an okay to MRI her brain and go take a tumor out if we find one but, we can't get a hold of Cuddy. She isn't here anymore, and we tried calling her cell but it's off," House looked in the direction of the kitchen and smiled, "so we need to at least get an okay from you and then maybe fill Cuddy in later."

"So you want me to take the fall for something I didn't do just because you are my team?" House asked, playing along to not knowing the whereabouts of Cuddy.

"Yeah," Park commented after a pause.

"Fine. Go do it, I'll tell her later."

"Do you want us to tell you what we find?"

"Not particularly. Unless it gets interesting. Call back if you can't find a tumor. ONLY if you don't find one," he stated, drilling it into her head the best he can that he'd rather not be bothered.

"Okay."

House hung up, ending the conversation, and limped back into the kitchen after tossing his cell back into his backpack and found Cuddy up and checking on their dinner. "You turned off you phone," House told her, using the end of his cane to point in her direction.

Cuddy swiveled around to face him after closing the oven, leaving the lasagna in for a little while longer. "Yeah, so?" she responded back, licking her thumb having got a little sauce on it and House shook his head in effort to get the image of her tongue he just saw out of his mind and tried to bring himself back to what they were talking about.

"You tell me to answer my phone when it rings but you cut off all communication by shutting yours off. Does that seem fair to you?" he narrowed his eyes on her, never taking them off of her while finding his way back to his seat.

"I can do whatever I want, you have to listen to me, that's how this boss thing works. So, what is going on with your patient?" she asked intrigued by what she heard from his end of the conversation.

"Nothing too interesting. Might have to crack open a head to look for a tumor is all. Child's play, really," he shrugged.

She rolled her eyes knowing that's all she would get out of him on the subject and got a couple plates out, getting everything ready for when the dinner was done.

They sat and continued to drink their wine with a little bit of small talk to pass the time until the food was ready. House got up and helped her with things and they ate in silence, occasionally catching each others eye from across the table. When they both decided they were done but kept their plates in front of them if they decided to attempt to finish what little food were on both plates, they had started to talk.

"How's Rachel?" House inquired, playing it safe.

"She's good," Cuddy smiled softly, "she wants to take you back to her classroom. I told her it may not be a great idea."

"Yeah," House agreed in a sarcastic tone, "usually when women see me more than once they are captivated by my charm and that gets them hooked on me. Then they become incapable of loving any other man. You wouldn't want that to happen with Rachel's teacher," he joked.

Cuddy gave him a playful disapproving look and picked up her wine for another drink. She set it down and House grabbed the bottle and refilled both glasses again.

"Since there has been a couple weeks that had passed since we have been more open with each other, or, with what Scott had forced out of us, and now, all this," House started, motioning to the room to signify the dinner, "have you gotten anywhere near being able to move past what happened with us?" he asked her nervously.

She sighed and kept his eye contact for a minute before answering. "I have had a lot of time to replay what happened over and over in my head, and I did hate you for what you did," House lowered his head and looked down at the food left on his plate. "But now," she sighed again and he glanced back up at her. "I just hate you because I miss you."

Those words hurt the most. He couldn't believe he had been putting her through this. He should have let her move on. Wilson should have let her move on. He should never had called her when he was in the hospital. He gave her a look of sadness that he saw reflected back to him through her. "I hate me because I miss you too," he admitted.

He watched the shock across her face and pushed her chair away from the table. "Excuse me, I have to use the restroom." He nodded and looked back down at his plate as he heard her walk down the hall and closed the door behind her.

Cuddy leaned against the sink with her eyes closed, taking a deep breath then looked at herself in the mirror. He missed her too. She knew he had to have missed her, otherwise he wouldn't be making the effort that he is, so it shouldn't have been news to her. Plus she was sure they had a conversation like this once before, whenever they talk seriously it always ends up coming back around to what happened that day. But it was the way he said it. She turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on her face. She grabbed a towel and blotted her face dry to not destroy her makeup and took three long deep breaths before she exited the bathroom.

When she did she saw that he had both wine glasses on the coffee table in the living room and he was sitting on the couch. "Sorry, I had to sit on something different for my leg," he told her while rubbing it.

She nodded and made her way to the couch to sit next to him. "Does it hurt that much? Do you have anything for it?"

"I just took Ibuprofen, should kick in within a few minutes."

"House," she started meekly, looking into her lap while she said it after taking a seat.

"Yeah?"

She felt him looking at her so forced herself to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry for how I broke up with you. I shouldn't have used that as the reason when I clearly told you I loved you for you. Maybe we would still be together if I hadn't-"

"No," he shook his head, interrupting her. "It happened the way it happened. If it hadn't happened that way, then who knows. I would have done something else that would have pissed you off the next day, the next week, the next month, and I probably still would have gone off the same way that I did." She looked at him shocked. As much as she wanted to blame him for everything bad that happened in their relationship, she knew she had a hand in what happened to them too.

"It's not all your fault, House," she added. "I drove you to it, I know I did."

"Fine, think what you want, and I'll think what I want. But, that's how I see it..now."

She saw for the first time just how much House had matured since they were together. The House she knew would never take fault as easily as he just did. She felt that they were finally getting to a good place. That he still is the House she always knew, who could be childlike, sarcastic, tough at times to deal with, and a brilliant doctor, but he is also, this guy who can take responsibility for things when he feels it necessary. She had wished for years he would do that just every once in awhile in the past and she felt at ease that he finally seemed to be. She inhaled contently and laid her head on his left shoulder.

Cuddy looked down, and watched House rest his left hand on her right upper thigh and stuck out his pointer finger and started making circles on her bare skin. She took hold of it in both her hands and looked up into his eyes which were already waiting for hers. She didn't know if it was the wine or the fact that she missed him more than she realized, but she decided to not think too much about it. She moved his hand over and placed it next to his leg and she bent her right leg up on the couch, using it to push her weight as she shifted her body, and threw her left leg around him, and their eyes locked.

She stared deep into his eyes, and felt his right arm wrap around her slowly and pushed her body closer to his. His left arm raised and pushed back her hair that fell on her face with the movement of straddling him. "Are you sure you want this to happen?" he asked cautiously before going any further.

"I do," she whispered.

Both his hands slid down to the bottom of her dress and raised it to her lower back, and she felt his hands cup around her ass and she tugged at his shirt, finding the separation between it and his pants and lifted his shirt an inch and wrapped her arms around his bare back to bring her even closer to him then when he pulled her close.

Their eyes found each others once more and they both leaned in for a kiss. She felt his tongue lick her top lip, asking for entrance inside, and she opened her mouth for him the same time he allowed her inside his. She felt his left hand leave hold of her while his right worked on pulling her underwear down and she heard him unzip his jeans. She knew if she were to stop him, now would be the time to do it before it was too late. But instead, she kissed him harder and moaned in his mouth when she felt him enter inside of her. They both breathed heavily into each others mouths as they pulled at one another in every way they could, trying to get as close to each other as possible, as they found their steady rhythm, making the couch squeak while in the process. House slipped his tongue out and ended the kiss. Cuddy opened her eyes and looked at him confused as to why he had stopped and saw a smirk across his face and tilted his head and trailed open mouthed kisses up and down the left side of her neck.

Cuddy let out an irritated moan at the sound of ringing. "Is that your phone?"

She felt him lift his mouth off of her neck which left her aching for him to put it back, "yeah, it's probably my team, you want me to stop what I'm doing and get it?"

He lowered his head again and kissed her softly, waiting for her to respond. "No," she answered out of breath, "screw your team."

"Well," he kissed her then lifted his mouth off again, "that'll be hard to do since I'm currently screwing you."

"House, shut up," she pleaded, digging her nails into his back when his mouth landed in between her breasts and kissed around them.

She couldn't take it anymore. She needed a part of him in her mouth. She slid her arms out from under his shirt and used both hands to cup his face, and lifted it to be even with hers. She watched his blue eyes roam her features seductively and she lifted his chin with her right hand and opened her mouth as she lowered her head to the right side of his neck and sucked in as much as she could of it. She wrapped her arms back around his back and heard him let out a deep moan in pleasure and felt his hands slide down her backside, landing on her hips and guided her up and down faster then how they were going, until they both reached climax.

Her muscles relaxed, and felt his do the same. She kept her head on his right shoulder while he left his on her left shoulder as they slowly caught their breath. She closed her eyes and smiled at the feel of his fingers from both his hands as they trailed up and down her back.

Cuddy tried to open her eyes but found it hard to do. "House," she mumbled, finally opening them.

"Yeah?" he asked lazily.

"I'm tired."

"Yeah."

"I think its because of all the wine and-" she drifted off and closed her eyes again when she felt a light open mouthed kiss on her neck.

"I know," he answered, knowing what she intended to say and rested his head back on her shoulder.

"House," she said again opening her eyes back up.

"Yeah?"

"I think you should go before you get too tired to ride your motorcycle home," she said nervously, as she rubbed his upper back.

He inhaled, "because of Rachel?"

"Yeah, I don't want her to see you here because we don't know where we stand yet and until we do I don't want her getting her hopes up."

"Right, because you sleep with every guy you bring home to dinner."

She lightly hit him on the back, "you know what I mean."

"Yeah," he mumbled into her neck and shifted his sitting position. Cuddy let out a moan, forgetting he was still inside of her and his movement caught her by surprise. He leaned back to face her and caught a glimpse of the look of pleasure on her face that he just triggered. "You know I'm going to need that back," he told her nodding to his lap.

She shot him a look of disappointment and gave him a quick peck on the lips and lifted herself using her bent legs around him, and guided him out of her. "Are you awake enough to get home? Do you need any coffee?" she asked standing up, pulling up her underwear and straightened her dress as he zipped up his jeans.

"I'll be fine." She took a step back to give him room to stand and walk away from the couch and followed him to the front door. "You don't regret what just happened do you?" he asked after grabbing his helmet.

"No, do you?"

"No," he pulled his backpack off the table and threw it over his shoulder.

"So, we'll talk later," she started, trying to awkwardly say goodbye.

"Yeah."

"Call me when you get home. I want to know you got there alright."

"Will you feel guilty if I didn't?" He meant it as a joke but felt bad when he saw the horrified look that spread across her face. "I was kidding. I'll call. But if you don't answer?"

"Leave a message," she responded.

"Right." He turned his back to her and opened the front door with his left hand, having his cane in his right and took a step forward.

"House," she called out, and saw him shift half his body to his left to face her. "I'm glad we did this."

He smirked back at her, "me too." Out of old habit, he leaned back and gave her a quick kiss and walked out her front door and closed it behind him. Cuddy looked out her peephole and watched him limp over to his motorcycle and rode away in the direction of his apartment.

She turned and faced her living room and surveyed the cushions on the couch that were indented where they were. She shivered, remembering his touch and looked around for her purse. Once she found it on the lounge chair she had for guests in the living room she dug inside of it for her cellphone and turned it on to know when he would call. She took it to her bedroom with her and slid out of her dress, and changed into an over-sized t-shirt and laid down and waited for his call but fell asleep before it came...


	39. Chapter 39

Cuddy started coming to by hearing the birds chirping happily outside her window. She lifted her head off of her pillow and opened her eyes to see the sun shining through the small openings in her blinds that she had closed the night before, not too long before House came over.

House.

She felt around her bed for her phone with her right hand underneath her and yanked at it when she felt it under her stomach and brought it up to face her. She hit a button to show her display screen. One missed call, and one voicemail.

She sat up, throwing her legs over the side causing her feet to land on the floor and hit the missed call icon and saw his face staring at her. Her thumb trailed across the screen smiling softly at his picture and escaped out to listen to his voice. She pressed the voicemail button to connect and put her phone on speaker.

"Hey Cuddy. I just got in...you're probably asleep since you didn't answer, you looked exhausted. Beautiful, but, exhausted," she felt a shiver go down her spine at hearing him call her beautiful. "So I won't say good night because you won't hear this until the morning, and if I were to say good night then that wouldn't do you any good since the night already passed, so good morning," she smiled at the fact that he can't even leave a message without analyzing the situation. "Thanks for having me over. It was...well...I'll see you Monday."

She heard the noise that signified he disconnected and her smile faded. She wanted to call him. She wanted to see if he was awake and if he missed her as much as she missed him since they parted, knowing it was stupid to miss him already because she fell right to sleep when he left and she just woke up. But, she did miss him. She thought about how far away Monday seemed and didn't know if she wanted to wait until then to see him. But, she knew why he said it. He would probably be going to the hospital to check up on the patient that he was getting calls about when he was over but, she wasn't due back in until Monday unless there was an emergency she was needed for.

She pulled up her contacts in her phone and scrolled down to his name and stared at the picture of him that's saved along with it. She remembered when she took it. She never deleted it from her phone because it reminded her that they had shared good times together. He had just woken up and was laying next to her in bed. She grabbed her phone and called out his name and he looked over at her with his bedroom eyes and she took it.

Her thumb hovered over the call button and escaped out of it, setting her phone down. It was only 8:00 in the morning and the chances of him being awake at this time weren't high, and she didn't want to be responsible for waking him up. She could wait. She waited this long to get to where they were, she can wait until Monday to see him again.

She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face and stood up to go to the bathroom to take a shower.

House woke up to the sun shining brightly onto his face. He threw his blankets over his head to try and sleep longer but it didn't seem to be helping. He tossed them off and after opening his eyes he blinked multiple times to try and get his eyes adjusted to the daylight. He flipped over from his back to his stomach and extended his left hand over to the nightstand where he left his cell phone and saw he had six missed calls, all from his team, with six messages to go along with them. He set his phone back down without listening to them and scowled at his alarm clock that read 8:15.

His bladder forced him to get out of bed despite his deep desire to stay in it. Having left his cane hooked on his bookshelf near his entrance, he supported his leg with his hand and limped to his bathroom. He aimed in the bowl once he got there and looked up towards the ceiling, feeling as though his head was too heavy to be held upright at such an early hour for him and flushed once his bladder emptied and shifted over to the sink to wash his hands.

He turned the faucet on, lathered his hands up with hand soap and rinsed them. He shook his hands dry and glanced up at his reflection in the mirror and a pink mark sticking up from under his shirt on his neck caught his eye. He wiped his hands on his pajama pants getting the excess water off and pulled his shirt down to get a better look. His pointer finger traced over it and he smiled. He let go of his shirt while looking to the side thinking back to where he got it. He replayed the moment in his mind when Cuddy nestled her head in between his shoulder and head and started sucking on his neck, so hard that she left a hickey behind. He turned away and left the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen to make himself some coffee ignoring his cell phone in his bedroom that started ringing.

Hours had passed and Cuddy had showered, eaten breakfast, and her sister returned Rachel and stayed a little longer to visit. Rachel ran off into her room after she greeted Cuddy, which she was fine with because she was looking forward to catching up with Julia whom she felt she hadn't had time to talk to in a long time. Julia asked Cuddy how the dinner went and she told her everything went well. Cuddy was happy that Julia seemed to be more understanding of what she and House were trying to do by fixing what happened, and doesn't hold too much against him since the last time she saw House when he was there for Cuddy when she got in the accident a few weeks back. So she told her they talked about a couple things, he shared his feelings towards what happened, shared a few moments of laughter, and left it at that. Cuddy took notice that Julia sat in the very same spot where they ended up having sex and didn't think she'd care to know that detail.

Cuddy heard her cell phone ring from her room where she left it in the morning and excused herself to answer it. She smiled when she saw the number that was calling was House's office. "What do you need an okay with today?" she asked warmly, not having it in her to sound like the irritated boss that he usually has to deal with.

"Uh, Dr. Cuddy," Adams started, "we were actually hoping you can tell us where House is. We've tried his home and cell number multiple times and he hasn't picked up any of those times."

Fear tore through her but she had to hold her composure. "Why would you think I knew where he was?"

"Actually, we didn't think you would. But, after we asked Wilson and he didn't know, he directed us to you." Cuddy sat down on her bed, her mouth open and her eyes wide. Wilson didn't know where he was either. "Dr. Cuddy?" Adams asked on the other end that pulled her out of her thought.

"Sorry, I'll go over to his place, see if he's there. I'll call you when I know what's going on...How is your patient doing?" she added, trying to hide that all her concerns were on House.

"That's why we need him. We thought it was a tumor but there wasn't one. We don't know what's wrong and we need House to help us determine what is."

Cuddy sighed, wishing this wasn't happening. "I'll have him call you." She hung up the phone, not wanting to hear anymore about the patient and how House had apparently gone missing. She took a second before standing up, as she tried to figure out what to do, then remembered her sister was in the living room waiting for her.

She exited her room and made her way down the hallway. "Hey Julia," she called out when she was closer and saw her sister look up at her when she entered. "Something came up at work. Can you do me a favor and stay here with Rachel until I get back?"

"Yeah, sure," Julia answered turning her head to watch Cuddy gather up her things. "Is everything okay?" she asked concerened.

"I hope so." Cuddy opened her front door and got in her car. She still had her cell phone in her hand and thought to call before making the trip. If she got a hold of him then she would know he was okay and she could go back inside and set her sister free if she wanted to leave. First she tried his cell. No answer. Her heart pounded a little harder and scrolled down to his home number. No answer. She sighed, trying to steady herself before making the drive over there.

She reached his apartment fifteen minutes later, having driven faster than she knew she should have and felt some comfort in seeing his motorcycle outside. After getting out of her car she went up to his front door and knocked. She gave him a couple minutes to reach the door to answer it, but he never did. She knocked again, and started envisioning the worst. What if for some reason he took Vicodin again and was laying on the floor the way Wilson found him when he stole his patients medication when he was detoxing a few years back? It didn't make any sense because when she saw him he seemed happy and content, but, with House, she learned to be ready for anything, no matter how out of character it may seem for him in that moment. When she stood outside his door having still gone unanswered, she did the only thing she could do without giving up and turning around. She lifted her hand and felt around for his extra key and let herself in.

She knew he might give her crap for it later but she didn't care. He could yell and scream at her all he wanted, and she would say that she felt she had no choice. She opened the door and surveyed his living room which she saw he wasn't in. She couldn't help but smile when she saw his helmet sitting on his couch and envisioned him last night tossing it as he walked passed and headed towards his bedroom.

His bedroom, she thought.

She took a quick peek in the kitchen, but knew he wasn't in there otherwise he would have answered the door. She looked in his hallway that led to his bedroom and tiptoed her way towards the end where it was. Cuddy lingered to listen for any signs of him in there and saw his bedroom door was half closed. She heard a moan coming from House. "Right there, keep doing that," he said breathlessly.

"You like that?" she heard a woman ask. Another moan came from House as his answer.

Cuddy felt completely betrayed. How could he call for a hooker the day after they were together? She stood in his hallway frozen, and the more he moaned the angrier she got at him. She took huge strides over to his bedroom and pushed the door open, "House! How could you-?" she screamed but paused when she saw his head lift off a table he was laying on and a masseuse she recognized as Rebecca, the physical therapist she advised to him when they were a couple holding his right thigh.

"Lisa! How are you?" she asked excitedly when she saw it was her who came through the door.

"Fine," she answered, while she kept eye contact with House who was looking at her with a piercing stare that told her he knew exactly what she was feeling.

"We were doing some exercises and it hurt his leg, so I'm massaging it relax his muscles. To make him feel better," she volunteered without Cuddy asking why she was there.

"That's all I need for today," House told her, still looking at Cuddy.

"Are you sure because I was just," she glanced over to see what House was looking at and saw the relief that spread across Cuddy's expression. "Ah, I see what's going on here," she announced smiling at Cuddy who was still looking at House. "You're the reason for his neck, aren't you?" Cuddy looked away from him over to her while blushing, not having meant to leave a mark. "Okay, I get it. I'm not getting in the middle of this," she put her hands up surrendering, while gathering all her stuff and House sat up off the table for her to take it, and grabbed both ends of the sheet he had over him to not expose himself in front of Rebecca. He waited until she left the room and he let go of his sheet which she was relieved to see he at least had underwear on underneath while being in the presence of the physical therapist.

"You called her to come over?" Cuddy asked when she heard Rebecca walk down the hall and let herself out.

"Yeah, she's my physical therapist and masseuse now thanks to you. She comes over here every couple of weeks." He grabbed his cane that he had in the corner of his bedroom and leaned on it and looked at her while showing no indication of putting on any other clothes. He studied her expression and knew she wasn't pleased with the situation so continued talking as though she told him she wasn't happy. "I don't see what the big deal is. I've always had masseuses coming in to massage my leg; before we were a couple, during, and after, it's never bothered you before. I don't see why all of a sudden-"

"It always bothered me! It's never been easy for me to think of how other people got to touch you and make you feel better! Even before we were close to anything it has always bothered me! I wanted to be the one who made you feel better! Always!" She wasn't expecting to confess all of that to him, but she couldn't stop herself once she started.

House sighed and slumped his standing position, looking at her with sad eyes. "So you're asking me to not get my leg massaged anymore?"

"No," she responded shaking her head, "what I'm asking you is to let me be the one."

"But these women were trained, they know how to hit the right spots and-"

"I'll learn. Please, House. We've had this fight before and-"

"And I went with the woman you gave me who you just chased out of here," he replied in defense.

"I know. But, this is different. Is it so hard for you to understand how someone making you feel so good, being the highlight of your week might make me feel a little bit-"

"What, jealous? You shouldn't it's what they do! If you had to have a massage-"

"If I had to have a massage by a man once a week, would you be okay with it if you were willing or capable of doing it yourself?"

He twisted his mouth and narrowed her eyes on her, "no."

"Then will you please let me take care of you when you need it? I'll go to classes, I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that I do it just the way you like it," she told him desperate for him to agree.

"How can you take classes? You have no time! You have the hospital, you have Rachel-"

"I'll make time."

He thought this over for a minute before responding. "Will you give me happy endings?" he asked with a smirk.

She smirked back with an unmistakable twinkle in her eye, "of course."

"Fine," he announced and started to limp passed her into his hallway and turned his head to look at her. "Get out. I have to go soak my leg now."

She knew she should be bothered by the way he ordered her out but, that was just who he was. And he just agreed to something she thought she had a slim chance of, and just focused on that. "House," she said while grabbing his upper left arm to turn back to her when he took another step away. "There's one more favor I have to ask from you."

"Is this about my team?" he whined.

"No, but, call them back," he scowled but stayed quiet, curious as to what her other favor may be. "Iiii...don't think we should tell people about us yet," she told him cautiously.

"There's an us?"

"There isn't?"

"I didn't think we were an us yet, but, if you think there is an us, then, why aren't we telling anyone?" he asked, leaning closer to her.

"We jumped into telling people about us before and look what happened," he shifted his position and limped towards the bathroom but his body language told her he was still listening so she followed him and stopped in the doorway as he gathered up a towel and things he needed for the tub. "I think we should take our time with whatever is happening with us before we tell everyone."

He placed the plug into the drain and stood straight to look at her. "So, you want to keep me as your dirty little secret?"

She smiled at him seductively, "only for a little while."

He responded by giving her his own seductive look and turned the water on to fill the tub and took a couple steps closer to her. She took a couple steps back, and turned to the right and leaned against the wall of his hallway. He followed her and trapped her where she stood. "So, we can only do things when no one else is around?" he asked softly, and arched his right eyebrow.

"Yeah," she answered while glancing up and down from his eyes to his mouth.

"We're alone now," he told her, nudging her legs to an open stance with his left knee and grounded his feet where hers were a second ago to slide in between her legs.

"We are."

He smirked and leaned down and met her lips with his own and shoved his tongue threw the opening he felt and hers responded twirling around it. She felt his body lean into hers and her body reacted immediately. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his bare skin everywhere except where she wished there was. She took hold of the top of his underwear and started pushing them down.

"Oh more thing," he said, after pulling away from their kiss.

"What?" she asked desperate for their kiss to continue.

"If we aren't telling anyone, no more hickeys," he paused to smile, "where they are visible to everyone that isn't us."

"Fine," she answered in the same manner.

"Another thing," he went on, enjoying seeing what he was doing to her. "What do you want me to tell people about the one already there if they ask?"

"Who's going to ask?"

"I think it's cute you think Wilson won't be asking," he said with a grin.

"Lie. Everybody lies." He smiled and leaned towards her again going for one of her breasts through her blouse. She moaned, and pushed his head against her, signalling she wanted direct contact. She inhaled deeply when he got the message and stuck his left hand in between his cheek that rested against her and her right breast and pulled the fabric of her blouse and her bra out of the way and took her into his mouth.

It was then when she heard the sound of his tub running and rolled her eyes frustrated that he did that right before he cornered her the way he did. "House," she said, while her right hand tangled in his hair.

"Mmmm," he gave back as a response.

"Your tub...its going to overflow."

"Come in with me," he answered, her breast still in his mouth which made her weak in the knees at the feel of his tongue that danced around it when he spoke. She ached to go in with him. But she knew she had to get back home.

"House," she said while panting. "I can't, House."

He set her breast free from his mouth, and pulled her blouse up messily, and trailed his lips up to her lips with small kisses until their eyes met again. "You sure?"

"No," he smiled and their eyes stayed locked. "House, it's starting to over flow." He leaned his head to the side of hers and saw water from the corners spilling over. He stepped back, releasing her from the wall and took a step toward the bathroom.

"I'll ask you one last time," he told her having turned and she watched as he pushed the rest of his underwear down from the halfway point she got to and she saw that he was on the verge of being fully erect.

"I have to go," she answered trying to stay strong, ignoring all the sensations going through her body just by the sight of him. "And don't forget to call your team. They need you."

He frowned, "you're talking about my team. Does that mean our dirty little secret installment is over?"

"Yeah, for now," she answered.

He nodded, turned the water off and looked back at her as she took a step toward his living room. "Is that why you came here? To tell me to call my team?"

She faced him again, "it was." She saw he looked disappointed with her answer. "At first," she added.

"Right," he stepped out of his underwear that sat around his ankles with his left foot then the right. "Guess I'll see you Monday then, boss. I'll be going to the hospital as soon as I get out of here."

She didn't say anything else to him. She turned and straightened her blouse and bra and let herself out. After she got in her car she sighed while closing her eyes and biting her lip, trying to calm her body that still ached for him before starting her car to go home...


	40. Chapter 40

Cuddy walked into House's office on Monday morning and found him slouched in his lounge chair with his feet up on the ottoman and his eyes closed. She surveyed the rest of his office and took notice that it was just the two of them and took advantage of it by watching him as he slept.

"What is it?" he asked, revealing he was actually still awake when he sensed someone in the room.

"Oh, you're awake," she said startled.

He opened his eyes and turned his head in the direction of her voice when he heard it, telling him it was her. "Yeah, I am." She walked further into his office, with the door closing behind her, no longer having her body as support for it to stay open and took a seat on the ottoman where there was a couple inches of room and held his gaze. "Did you come in for a reason, or just wanted to say hi?" he asked.

She took him in, letting her eyes roam his face before answering, not having seen him since she left his apartment on Saturday which she still regretted walking out, having felt like she wanted his touch back upon her for the rest of the day. "How...how's your patient doing?" she asked.

"She has meningitis. The rashes showed up when I got in which gave me the idea, along with the seizures she was having, I thought it fit. I had my team test for it, it came out positive, so we gave her anticonvulsants for the seizures and antibiotics for the rest."

"Is she going to be okay?"

He nodded, and she saw his glance drop down to her low cut blouse for a quick peek then back up at her, "caught it in time. She's going home later today."

She smiled pleased and proud of him for doing what he does. "Good." She looked down at his left leg which she felt slide over to rub up against her upper thigh. "House," she gazed up at him to see he had a mischievous grin on his face. "I told you that I don't want anyone here to know about us yet." She said sternly as his foot extended further and twisted, managing to reach her backside and rubbed lightly against the back of her skirt which sent her to inhale quickly, bringing back memories of the two of them on the couch as he tugged down her underwear from the same side. "House, please."

She felt a cold chill all up and down her left thigh and ass when his leg slid over to obey her wishes and left her alone. She kept her eyes on him as she watched he slowly examined her body with his own eyes, feeling like he was undressing her with them, until he saw the file in her left hand. "New patient?" he asked.

She looked down at the file herself, "yeah. Just came in a few minutes ago complaining of leg pain. He's football player who-"

"He pulled a muscle. Tell him to put ice on it." He took his right hand and put it on his thigh to guide it off the ottoman to sit up and dropped his left to the side.

"He says its more than that. It feels worse then just a pulled muscle and he demanded he be seen by the best doctor and-"

"You know, doctoring isn't the only thing I'm good at," he arched his left eyebrow at her accompanied with a grin.

"House," she said starting to look angry which told him she was done playing his game.

"Okay, fine, give me," he extended his left arm and she handed him the file. He grabbed his cane that was at the right of his lounge chair and limped over to his desk chair and Cuddy got up and followed him, having taken a seat on the chair to the left facing his desk after she saw him sit down.

"House I know that-" she paused when he looked up from the file in front of him and instead of landing his gaze on her, it went passed her towards his door.

"House! What are you doing Saturday night?" Wilson asked excitedly, coming into his office.

He glanced at Cuddy in the corner of his eye, "nothing that I'm aware of," he answered sitting back in his chair looking at his friend questionably as to what he is so happy about.

"Good, because-is that a hickey?" he asked startled, pointing to House's neck.

"Ohhh James, you know how the women are...its hard for them to keep their hands off me," he answered boastful and not missing Cuddy's head turn to the side away from Wilson to roll her eyes.

Wilson scoffed and moved on, "okay, Saturday night, you and me...Monster trucks." House grinned at this news.

"Wait, Saturday? You aren't expecting sex afterwards are you?" he asked skeptically.

Wilson sighed, "well, if you're not up for it I guess that last time you came over will have to last me for a while," he answered, playing along. Cuddy couldn't help but smile at their friendship and how they communicated with one another.

"I'll be there," House answered.

"Good!" Wilson left House's office with a nod to Cuddy in passing her and they were alone again. House took a couple minutes to look over the file she gave him and without any warning, he stood with his cane and started walking out himself, but not without turning back around and limped back over to Cuddy and stood so close to her she could feel his stomach against her elbow and his scent was starting to fill the air around her. "You sure you don't want anyone to know?"

She glanced up at him and saw his piercing blue eyes looking at her. "I think we need time to work on ourselves before everyone knows."

"Okay. Then I'll let you know what happens with this patient." He stepped away from her and this time left his office. She stood up a couple seconds later to leave herself, remembering the pile of paperwork that was on her desk waiting for her to deal with.

Hours had passed and Cuddy barely had to be called out of her office which she was thankful for because the work she had at her desk kept her busy enough. She was so engrossed by what she was doing on her computer, she was startled when she heard her office doors burst open the way only one person does. She looked away from her screen and saw a different demeanor on House then what she saw the last time she saw him. He sat quietly on her couch, looking straight ahead and she curiously waited until he spoke. "House?" she asked when he didn't show any signs of doing so.

"I need you to tell my patient what he needs to do to be treated," he told her.

She sighed and leaned back on her chair and crossed her arms, annoyed that he was messing with her. "Oh I get it, you act like you are fine with not telling anyone about us, and your way of getting back at me is by having me face all the details of your job that you don't want to," she sat back up and faced her computer. "You go tell your patient, I have enough to do without-"

"I wish that's what this was," he retorted, looking at her.

She faced him again and saw a sad expression on his face. She suddenly became fearful to ask why. "What's wrong with your patient?" she forced herself to ask.

He went back to looking straight ahead and twirled his cane on the floor in circles while Cuddy watched as the hook end turned around and around. "Infarction. Left thigh became obstructed with a blood clot which caused muscle death. Sound familiar?" he glanced at her quickly then back ahead when he saw she was speechless. "It may be not exactly the same with it being a different leg and all, but, same outcome, same treatment," he paused before continuing. "Something he won't want to hear from me. He'll fight to keep his leg like I did and think he can handle the pain like I thought and refuse amputation," he looked back up at Cuddy with pleading eyes, "I don't want this kid to be miserable like me."

"And your team?"

"They feel like they can't do it either...because of me. So, I came to you."

She sighed, feeling obligated not only because she was the one who gave him the case without thinking about the possibility of it being the same thing which forced him to relive what happened to him all over again, but also, because she wanted to take away the pain that was making him look the way he was looking at her. She hated when he was miserable and always tried to do anything in her power to help him, whether they were a couple or not. "What room is he in?" she asked.

"Second floor, room 1618. Thanks," he looked down at into his lap.

Cuddy wanted to go up and hug him, kiss him even and tell him everything was going to be alright. She watched as he leaned his body weight against his cane to stand and limped over to her door. She slid her chair away from her desk. "House are you okay?" she asked concerned and started to stand up forgetting about what she told him about not wanting anyone to know about them. If someone saw as she reached over to hug him like she wanted then who cares? He watched her as she walked around her desk towards him and he knew what she was doing. He shook his head no. "Don't Cuddy, I'm fine." She stood where she was with tears filling her eyes knowing he wasn't. He lowered his head and walked out of her office without another word, closing the door behind him...


	41. Chapter 41

House was leaning against the railing of the second floor with his cane hooked on the side to his right, watching people go in and out of the hospital. He was fascinated by the expressions all of them seemed to share. The two main ones were worried and relieved, with very few in between. His eye followed one guy in what he guessed was in his mid-twenties, walking around like he owned the place, which told House, he spent a lot of time there. He started to wonder what he had and if he read his body language right, why House was never given his case. He was pulled out and away from the guy when he heard the faint sound of heels that cut the corner and were coming closer to him.

He met Cuddy's gaze that was already on him, and neither of them spoke until she reached his right side and set her arms on the railing, with his cane in between them, mirroring his stance. "So how did he take it?" House asked her, looking back down, finding the guy who was now walking out the doors.

She sighed, "he was angry. He wanted to make sure that was all that was left to do. When I told him that was his only option at this point, he didn't want to accept it. He-"

"Is he refusing?" House asked.

"He was. But then," she paused and felt House's gaze back on her. "I explained to him..." she looked down like she was ashamed of what she was about to say, "how life will be for him if he opted for just taking the effected muscle out, which he asked if we could do," she faced him by turning her head and he saw her eyes had gotten misty. "He asked me how anyone can live in that much pain." He studied her face and she looked as though she was living through it and not him. "I'm sooo sorry, House."

He turned away from her, "you have nothing to be sorry about. So he's going through with it, right?"

"He is."

He nodded, with his eyes roaming back to the doors of the hospital. "Good."

"House," she said in a sympathetic tone.

"No," he told her, shaking his head. "Don't." Cuddy reached for his right hand to take it into her left but before she got a grasp on it he pulled away. He saw the frown form on her face in response to his action. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Cuddy," he started in a hushed tone. "I think you are right. The hospital shouldn't know about us yet. We don't need that extra pressure on us until we are strong. I don't want to screw things up this time. And if I let you do what you are about to do in front of everyone here, they will know." He watched as she took in what he said and nodded silently, seeing his point.

"Okay," she said meekly.

"Do you need me to stay here?"

"For the day?"

"Yeah, would you be mad at me if I left? I can't be here."

"No, go home. I'll assign your case to someone else. You want me to come by later?"

"You don't have to." A few seconds went by when she didn't respond to his answer so he turned to look at her and saw concern splashed across her face. He sighed, "you can if you want." She smiled softly at him and he reached for his cane, returned the smile and turned around to face the elevator to go to his floor to gather his things for the day.

House had been home for hours and he couldn't get his patient out of his head. He knew at some point he may get a case that mirrored his own but this seemed too close for him to handle. He hated that he ran to Cuddy for help and showed weakness during a point where they were headed in a good direction; he felt like he just took huge leaps back. He dropped his head back on the top of his couch and closed his eyes. He felt the pressures of the day weigh on his shoulders. He ducked away from Wilson every chance he got because despite his need to make him feel better, talking about it which he knew Wilson would force him to do would make things worse.

He heard a fist hit his front door three times and he opened his eyes. He replayed the sound of it in his head and it sounded like a small knock, that possibly came from a woman. He remembered Cuddy saying that she would come by to check on him later and glanced at his wrist watch seeing that the time fit. He heard the knock again which prompted him to get off his couch, leaving his cane near the coffee table with the walk being a short distance, to see who it was.

He opened the door to see Cuddy on the other side. She had changed out of the clothes she wore at the hospital to another dress, this one blue, that clung to her every curve. The sight of her made him feel a little bit better then he did a second ago and without any words exchanged, he opened the door to let her in and closed it behind her.

Once they were in his apartment with no other eyes upon them she turned to face him after taking a few steps inside and wrapped her arms around his torso tightly and buried her face into his chest. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, and wrapped his arms around her in response.

"House, if I had known," she said muffled into his shirt.

"No, I don't want to talk about it right now," he leaned his body back to glance down at her and he saw she raised her head to look at him with misty eyes. "It's not your fault," he told her. They held their gaze on one another for a few lingering seconds, "come on, let's sit," he motioned with his head towards the couch. Cuddy kept her right arm around his back and House did the same with his left arm, letting his hand rest on her hip as they made their way to the far right cushion.

House took a seat and Cuddy kicked her heels off and curled up next to him in a ball with her left arm draped around him and her head resting on his chest. He felt comfort in having her so close to him like that. He kept his left arm around her, still resting on her hip. He smelt the faint scent of her shampoo that she used in the morning and her head turned towards him and kissed him lightly through his thin t-shirt. Her grip tightened around him as she kissed him again.

He moved his hand away from her hip and trailed up her side. He felt her smile against him as his hand roamed her body and she scooted up to kiss him on the lips. She nestled her head on his shoulder when the kiss broke and he shifted his head to the side slowly without pushing her head off of him and kissed her forehead. She hooked her left arm around him, landing on his neck and brought him closer to her and kissed his cheek.

She slipped in her sitting position, her head resting back on his chest and he grabbed hold of her tighter and she smiled at the feel of House's chin resting atop of her head. "House, are you sure you don't want to talk about what your feeling about that patient?"

"No," he answered lazily.

"If you are hurting, or, feeling anything about it, I want you to talk to me about it." She moved her head to look back up at him, causing him to lift his off of the top of hers. "It's just us here. This is the time to do it." He stared into her eyes and he could tell that she wanted him to open up. She wanted him to tell her every detail as to what being faced with his own past was doing to him, wondering if he had regrets of how he handled things the way he did. She wanted to try and make him happy again.

"Maybe in a little while," his hand trailed up from her lower back where it was resting up to brush the hair that was falling into her face so he could see her better. His eyes took her in, starting with her eyes and down to her lips.

"House?"

"Mmmyeah," he answered his eyes dropping down even further towards her cleavage which was pressed up against him.

"I'm glad I came to see you. I'm glad I'm back at the hospital and we got to where we are right now."

His eyes found hers again, "me too." He saw her feet press up against the couch to raise herself up and they leaned into one another for a kiss...


	42. Chapter 42

"Who's doing the surgery?" House asked after Cuddy slid back down to using his chest as a pillow after they ended their kiss.

"Fredrickson."

House squinted, "wasn't that the guy who replaced me when I left, who was supposed to be on my team when I decided I wanted to stay and came back?"

"You're just now noticing he's not on your team?"

"No, I noticed before. Just didn't have any reason to care before. Now I'm interested. Why did he leave to go into surgery?"

Cuddy shrugged her left shoulder under his hold on her, "he didn't tell me. Just asked if instead of staying in your department, if he could go there. I had no problem with it so I let him." Cuddy lifted her head to glance up at him when he didn't respond. "Does that bother you?"

"It shouldn't, but..." he looked down and met Cuddy's gaze and shook his head. "Forget it, it's stupid."

"No," she slipped out from under his arm and sat up and crossed her legs in his direction.

"Oh see..no, this isn't fair. Why do you move away and expose your pleasure zone to me by sitting that way while wearing a dress?" he pulled her closer to him and forced her sitting position to change to go back to how she was before curled up next to him.

"What bothers you about him going into surgery, House?" she asked, wrapping her arm back around him.

She felt his stomach rise as he sighed, "remember a few years ago when Foreman quit because he was worried that he was turning into me?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think...that maybe he.." House drifted off.

"No, I don't," she answered sternly.

"You didn't even know what I was going to say," he retorted.

"Yes, I do. You're thinking he's thinking what Foreman did for that brief time period of not wanting to turn out like you. Fredrickson likes you. He admires you. He told me everyday he was working in your place. I think him leaving your department was just his way of giving you back control. He came in when you were gone, and left when you came back, to keep things the way they were. To keep them familiar to you. But, House," she shifted up to look at him, "he is still in the our hospital because of you. He wants to be able to say 'I work in the same hospital as Gregory House.' That doesn't come from someone who wants to get away from you." She let her head drop to rest on him.

"You just made that all up," he replied after a moment of silence.

"No I didn't!"

"You just said you didn't know why he moved to surgery, which means he told you none of those things. You think I didn't hear that?"

She sighed, "I need to get used to this new House that pays attention," she announced.

"You're a terrible liar."

She let out a chuckle and used her right hand to press against the top of the couch to push her body up, stuck her left knee in between his legs to open his sitting position wider then it was and straddled his left leg, smiling seductively at him with a throaty laugh that drove him crazy every time she did it and pressed her lips hard against his, with their tongues instantly connecting, fighting against one another, while feeling his hands slide up and down the sides of her back.

She rubbed herself against his leg as their kiss grew more intense and House moaned at the feel of her and slid both hands down to her legs, holding her right in place next to his left and grabbed her left and lifted it, shifted his right leg closer to his left and swung hers over his right to straddle all of him and not just one leg while never breaking the kiss.

Cuddy felt House's hands travel down to the hem of her dress and worked it up over the curve of her ass for access. She found the button to his jeans and unbuttoned it, while trying to grab on to his zipper blindly but had to stop the kiss to look down to see what she was doing. His mouth landed on the left side of her neck to keep it occupied until she was done pulling him out. She took him in her hand and felt him get hard, hearing him let out a short breath up against her neck as she slowly started stroking him to get him ready.

His fingers pulled down on the sides of her panties when he let out a crying sound when her cell phone started ringing on the coffee table. "We have got to start turning off our phones," he whined resting his chin on her shoulder.

"It could be about the patient," she told him.

He sighed, "fine. Answer it then make him go away...then turn it off and get your ass back on me!" She smirked at him and slid down to where she still held onto him and took him all the way into her mouth and pulled out slowly. "Oooohhhhh Gooooooddddd," he groaned deep into his throat, arching his back. She smiled up at him and swiveled off of him to sit facing the table to get her phone. "Why the hell are you torturing me like that?"

She picked up her cell and turned to look at him, "just giving you a little idea of what to expect," she answered with a grin and turned back around to look at the display screen, seeing Fredrickson's name as the one calling.

"Yeah?" she asked into the phone when she answered it. House slid his hand that rested on her shoulder all the way down her bare skin that he exposed in attempts to take off her panties before they were interrupted. He smiled when she switched her phone onto her left ear to free her right hand and used it to squeeze his left upper thigh in response. "Yeah, hi, Fredrickson."

House glanced away from her hand on him over to the back of her head at the mention of Fredrickson's name knowing she was right about it being about the patient. Cuddy's body language changed and she lifted her right arm off of him to hold her forehead as though she had just grown a headache. "So he's refusing?" House tensed and leaned forward to watch her on the phone for facial reactions and dropped his hand off of her. She sighed loudly, "okay," her tone changed to one he knew well. It was her whatever-you-think-is-best tone.  
"Go ahead and cancel it, but don't discharge him. I'll be right in to try and talk him back into it." House leaned back on the couch having a feeling something like this would happen but hoped it wouldn't. He glanced back to her backside and lifted the sides of her panties up for her, knowing that what they were about to do wasn't happening.

She disconnected the phone call and turned her head to look at him and he saw her sad expression. "He's refusing."

"I heard."

"I'm going to go back and-"

"I'll follow you," House scooted on the couch to get up and his erection caught Cuddy's eye and arched her right eyebrow at him. He looked down at what she was looking at and pointed down, "after I go...take care of this..in there," he pointed to the bathroom.

She watched him sympathetically as he awkwardly stood up and made his way to the hallway. "I'm sorry we never got to do what we were about to do."

"Oh don't worry," he turned his head to face her while still taking steps down the hall. "I'm keeping track of all the times you owe me. This time and last time you took off...we'll do it," he said in a sarcastic cheery tone.

"Are you sure you want to come to the hospital?" she shouted, concerned about how he will handle it.

"Yeah," he answered in a strained tone which told her he was already continuing what she started into the toilet bowl. "I'll be fine. Go, meet there."

She smiled at how incoherent his speech was but knew the reason why and scooped up all of her stuff to leave, giving herself a head start to the hospital so they don't come in like they were together...


	43. Chapter 43

Cuddy reached the hospital after leaving House's apartment fifteen minutes later. As she walked through the lobby she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and called Fredrickson to ask where he was to cut time out of looking for him. When he told her that he was in the patient's room trying to help her out in explaining to the patient why it was important he have the surgery she said that she would be right there to help and hung up.

When she walked in she surveyed the room. Fredrickson was silent with his eyes on the patient as the patient looked down into his lap. "I don't care about the risks," the patient finally said looking up. Cuddy caught his eye and continued, now looking at her, "I don't care what you have to tell me either. It's not going to work."

Cuddy looked from the patient to Fredrickson, who she looked over at sympathetically then back over at the bed. "Can I call you Aaron?" Cuddy asked softly.

"Go ahead, it's my name, isn't it?" he asked.

"Aaron, you have to have this surgery," she said as nicely as she could.

"I've heard everything that has to be said about it. But the fact is, I want my leg."

Cuddy sighed, thinking of House and all those years ago when he said almost those exact same words to every doctor who tried to talk him into amputation, as he kept insisting he wanted his leg. "We explained why we have to do it and you were okay with it. Why are you hesitating now?"

"I've had time to think about since then and now. I don't want it," he announced stubbornly.

Fredrickson and Cuddy exchanged glances and Cuddy looked back, silently telling him she still wanted control of the situation. "Aaron, if you do nothing, then what happened to your leg will spread to your entire body," she said, trying to avoid what she knew he was thinking of doing. "We have to amputate to save your-"

"You can do that other thing, I've heard it works the same way as amputation. You told me that. That takes out the affected area and I can save my leg that way."

"Yeah, I told you that because you asked. Not because I was suggesting it as something you should consider. And you didn't want that done, remember? You said that it sounded like something you didn't want to do, asking how someone can live like that." She hated saying those words. All she could think of was House while saying them and it caused her more pain then she imagined when she started it.

"Yeah, but then I heard it was done before to someone here. The guy with the cane," Cuddy bit the inside of her right cheek to keep from breaking down in tears. "He must be alright, if he's still working here as a doctor. If he can do it then I can too."

At that moment, Cuddy heard the familiar sound of a cane hitting the ground and wished she didn't. She knew what he was coming here to do and wished he didn't care about this one. She wanted him to stay away so he wouldn't be faced with what happened all over again. It was the anger and frustration that drove him to show up, to save the kid from the misery he was feeling and she walked towards the door to meet him in the hallway to try and stop him but she wasn't fast enough. He was already limping through the door.

Aaron smiled when he saw House walk in. "See, here's the guy. He'll know what I'm talking about. Tell them that I don't need to amputate my leg," he told House cheerily.

"No," House stopped at the right side of the bed. "I can tell them that you're being a big moron, but," he shifted to look at Cuddy and Fredrickson then back at Aaron, "I think they already know that."

"What do you mean, I'm being a moron? You're the one who-"

"What? Refused amputation when I was in your situation? Yeah," he said sarcastically. "Worked out great for me didn't it?"

"You look fine to me. You have your leg," he argued back.

"You call this a leg?" House's voice raised while motioning to his leg with his left hand. "This isn't a leg! What do you think you can do if you decide to just cut the muscle out? You can never play football again. You'll walk with a limp, probably need a cane," he lifted his cane to show him, "and that's not going into the pain of what it feels like every second of every day for the rest of your life!"

"You don't seem like you're in pain," he spat out, trying to hold onto his argument.

"Not in pain? Oh now you're an even bigger moron then you made yourself out to be a second ago! Did you just not listen when these two told you about how much pain you'll be in?"

"I heard. But, I had time to think about it and I decided that I can handle it. If you can handle it, a tall thin white dude like you then I can do it."

"You're white."

"Yeah, but I'm stronger. I have a higher tolerance for pain," he paused and watched House limp over to a drawer from the table that was near the bed and pulled it open. "What are you doing?" he asked when he saw House shuffling through it as though he was looking for something and pulled out the biggest needle he could find. "Hey, what are you doing with that man?" House didn't say anything. He grabbed the blankets and threw them off of Aaron and stabbed his good leg and Aaron let out a scream.

"House!" Cuddy shouted, trying to get his attention but he didn't react to her. He stayed focused on the patient.

"Can handle pain, huh? Well that was just one little needle prick!" he took a step closer to him, leaving the needle sticking up and Cuddy shuffled over to take it out and set it down on the tray in front of Aaron and grabbed House by the shoulders and he jerked away getting out of her grasp. She sighed, knowing the best thing was to just let him be until he was done before he gets violent. She walked back over to where Fredrickson stood, silently taking what was happening around him in.

"You want to know the kind of pain you'll be feeling?" House dug into his jacket pocket and dropped three different pill bottles into Aaron's lap. "Vicodin." He ignored the hurt expression he saw plastered across Cuddy's face he saw in the corner of his eye. "Pretty strong right?" he leaned down onto his cane, "it's not enough. That just dulls it. Not to mention all the anger you feel towards everyone else for not knowing the kind of pain your experiencing. To know that they aren't feeling what you're feeling. To have to need something like that to get you through the day, the hour in some cases," he scooped the bottles back up and put them back into his pocket. "You'll have more bad days then good ones. You'll push everyone away that was once close to you because you can't stand it! I was living with someone when it happened to me...she said she would be there to help get me through it," Cuddy tensed, knowing who he was talking about. "I drove her away too with all my misery! I'm not talking about a day after surgery, I'm not talking about a week, or a month...I'm talking about every day for the rest of your life living in that kind of pain!" He paused and surveyed Aaron's expression. "You want us to take the muscle out and leave the rest? Sure," he started sounding cheery and shrugged his shoulder, "lets wheel you in and we can start right now." He turned to face Fredrickson. "Let's get him prepped. Draw little lines or whatever it is you do to target the dead muscle and cut only that and-"

"No," Aaron interrupted, and House turned back to him. "Amputate. Just take the damn thing off." House smiled, "you're not as big of a moron as I thought." House shifted back to Fredrickson, "get him in there before he decides he doesn't want it again." Fredrickson nodded still in amazement of House and walked out to get a surgical team ready.

House glanced at Aaron one last time who looked back at him horrified, and House turned to leave the room. Cuddy followed him four paces behind. "House," she called out when she exited the room and watched him make his way down the hallway.

"Stay with the patient, Cuddy," he called over his shoulder, getting further away from her.

"But, House are you okay?" she asked nervously.

He sensed her worry and turned his head to the side to face her. "I'm fine," he lied. "I'm going home. Stay here." She watched him turn the corner when he reached the end of the hallway and wished there was something she could do to help him...


	44. Chapter 44

"Greg, what's on your mind?" Nolan asked cautiously.

"What makes you think anything is on my mind?"

"The more that is, the more withdrawn you get. We've been here," Nolan glanced away from House to look at the clock on the wall, "for twenty minutes and you've barely made a sound let alone say anything."

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Nolan sat back and grabbed a book and opened it.

"I hate when you do that."

"Do what?"

"You start doing something you can do when I leave."

Nolan closed the book, "does that mean you want to talk?"

House scowled at Nolan, knowing this was his plan from the beginning. "Things were going good with Cuddy. Then, she gave me this patient." House paused, and Nolan stayed silent waiting for him to continue on his own. "An infarction. I had to deal with what happened to me all over again to convince this idiot out of the decision that I made years ago, which he was leaning towards."

"Did you do it?"

"Yeah, he went in for the surgery yesterday, I think."

"You think?" Nolan showed concern in his question.

"I didn't go in today. Didn't even call to say I wasn't I just...stayed home."

"Is that what you meant when you said things with Cuddy 'were' going good?"

House hesitated in answering because he knew he might get the third degree from Nolan if he did, but at this point, it was unavoidable. "I have been back on Vicodin for a month now. The pain is just getting too bad, Ibuprofen isn't cutting it anymore. That's what tore us apart last time, so, I kept it from her, until yesterday. I had to show the kid that's what I was taking to try and dull the pain, and she was there to see it," House looked down ashamed with himself, and to not look at the disapproving look from Nolan he didn't see but knew was there.

"And she's mad at you for it?"

House looked up in shock. "You mean you're not?"

"I trust that you know how much to take responsibly. The last place you want to be is back at Mayfield, so, I think you're smart enough to know your limits. However, I do want to run regular tests on you. To make sure you aren't lying about it," he pointed his right pointer finger at House and narrowed his eyes. "As smart as you are to know those limits, you are also equally smart to know how to act to hide the fact that you are taking more. So, the amount remains questionable. So, once a month, I'm not going to tell you when I require you tested, it won't be today, and I'll leave you in question if it will be this month at all as to when I plan on starting them, just that it will be soon. Knowing that, it should keep you at a pace to only take it for pain and not for the high, because if I'm not comfortable with the amount I see in your system, you're going back." House knew he should be angry and lash out, but he wasn't. He was grateful that Nolan didn't get on his case about it. "So, back to Cuddy, is she mad at you?"

House shook his head, "I don't know."

"You haven't talked to her about it yet. Don't you think that will make her mad, if you are shutting her out?"

"Probably."

"You see what you're doing here, don't you? You're trying to get out once things are good. You think because of how she reacted in the past, you have her all figured out as to how she will react now. You think she hasn't changed?"

"People don't change," House retorted annoyed.

"You did. I watched it happen," Nolan sighed and took a second before going on. "Talk to her, ask her how she feels. She may surprise you."

House sighed and glanced at his wrist watch, "oh look at that, times up already. Time just flies when I'm with you," he said sarcastically and grabbed his cane to stand.

"Think about what I said about talking to her," Nolan called out to House as he watched him make his way to the door to leave.

House shifted, "yeah, I will...think about it." House opened the door and let himself out.

He got home and stirred in his apartment. What if things were different and her opinion has changed of his use of Vicodin? What if she now understands the way Nolan surprisingly was more understanding? He admitted to not trusting him completely by having tests done, but, it was a lot less painful then he imagined the conversation going. Maybe she would be the same.

He made his way to his piano and thought over if he should have that talk with her or not as he started to play. A few seconds into playing around with the keys, still undecided as to what song, his cell phone caught his eye. He knew he should call her. He sighed and grabbed his cane, made his way to his phone and scrolled down to her number and hit the call button.

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed into the phone.

"Yeah," he answered. The second he heard her voice he wanted her close. He wanted her there with him.

"Are you alright? Is there anything you need?"

"I need you. Can you come over? Can you get a sitter for Rachel?"

"Of course, House. Give me some time. I'll be there as soon as I can." She heard him end the conversation and she frantically scrolled down to her sisters number to get her to watch Rachel.

House opened the door an hour later, when Cuddy knocked and without speaking, he took a step back to let her walk through and closed it when she was all the way inside. He took her right hand into his left and guided her towards his bedroom. "House, do you want to talk at all about what had happened in the last couple of days?"

He continued towards his room without answering. He positioned her next to his bed and let his eyes roam all around her face and traveled down. "I don't want to talk about anything right now," his eyes met hers. "I just want this," his hands found the bottom of her blouse and started to lift it while Cuddy cooperatively raised her arms for him to successfully take it off.

He nudged her softly with his left leg and she dropped to the bed. He stared at her when he reached for his own shirt and lifted it off. He let his eyes linger on her breasts while he grabbed hold of the sides of her skirt and started to work it down. He met eye contact with her when Cuddy felt it fall around her ankles and she lifted one foot at a time to step out of it.

He leaned down to kiss her while having his right hand on the mattress next to her head to hold him steady while he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He pulled his underwear down and grabbed hers and she lifted herself slightly to help him as he lowered them down. House put both hands on her hips and slid her further onto the bed and laid on top of her.

She opened her legs to allow him in between her and he raised her right leg and she hooked it around his waist, with her left leg mirroring her right. He smirked at her having gotten so close to what they have been trying to do again since the night of the dinner she invited him to and haven't been interrupted yet. She scooted her body lower, wanting him inside of her and he thrust into her as she let out a moan.

House exhaled, feeling her around him as he started to move his hips slowly, enjoying the need that built up inside of him and by the look of her as she stared at him, he knew she was feeling it too. He started to go in deeper and harder, both of their breath becoming unsteady as her hips smashed into him, taking him in even further than he was going. His head dropped to her breasts and sucked on her cleavage that was sticking out above her bra that he was irritated to see was still on and didn't have full access to what he wanted. His hands scooped under her and unhooked her bra and watched it loosen and took hold of both straps, and slid them off of her shoulders and arms and tossed it behind him. He grinned at her breasts that were now facing him, he cupped them both with both his hands and dove his head in and greedily took her right one into his mouth, and heard her scream out and took hold of his head, her fingers tangled in his hair, with both her hands to keep him there.

He took his right hand off her left breast and placed it on the mattress next to her and did the same with his left to steady himself and started moving at a faster pace inside of her. He groaned when he heard her scream out his name and she took her hips and used them to turn him over to the bottom and she sat up which caused his mouth to leave her and he grabbed her hips as he took in the sight of her bouncing on him, and threw her head back with her eyes closed as she called his name over and over. He squeezed his eyes when he felt himself getting closer to climax and exhaled a groan when he did and her bounce got more intense and moaned herself having gotten there three thrusts later. Her body dropped down onto his, her head resting right above his right shoulder facing him, and his arms folded around her as they caught their breath.

She let out a laugh when her breath became more steady and shifted herself so she was face to face with him and bent down to kiss him. Their tongues intertwined and fought against one another as his hands rubbed her back. She broke the kiss when she needed air and fell to the side of him, and they both let out one last little moan as her shift forced him to slide out of her.

They held each others gaze without speaking and she pushed her right hand against his chest to turn herself for his glass of water that she saw sitting on his nightstand when they entered his room. As she reached for it, she saw a bottle of Vicodin and picked that up instead.

House heard the noise of pills rattling against each other and became frustrated for not moving it before she came over.

"House," she started, keeping her eye on the bottle, "have you been taking these the whole time since we moved onto the next step with us? Or, do you still just take them when the pain is bad?" He slowly looked over, his eyes telling her he was afraid to answer. She dropped the bottle and pulled at the end of his blankets that hung over his bed to cover herself. "House?"...


	45. Chapter 45

"House, tell me. Were you taking this the whole time?" He twisted his mouth in thought, reluctant to address the question. "House," she repeated sternly.

Nolan's voice rang in his head telling him he should talk to her. He sighed, annoyed that he felt obligated to listen. "I've been on nothing but Vicodin for about a month now," he said softly, expecting her to storm out and he'd never see her naked again.

"A month?"

He looked up at her with shock, already surprised that his prediction to her reaction hadn't met his expectations. "Yeah, the pain has gotten pretty bad lately. It's been the only thing that really helps."

"And you're taking them responsibly? You're not just taking them to get high, but because you really need them?"

He felt like he was having deja vu. Granted Cuddy was a lot nicer on the eyes for him then Nolan, her reaction was oddly similar. "You've been talking to my therapist, haven't you?" he felt compelled to ask.

She looked at him questionably. "What does he have to do with this?"

"I told him today. He had nearly the same reaction, but added that he'd be testing me to check my levels to make sure I'm not lying to him about the intake...because of my addiction problem and all," he added sarcastically.

He saw Cuddy relax with that and didn't realize she had been tense the whole time they were discussing his Vicodin until he saw that. "okay, that's good," she said, now seeming distracted.

It bothered him that she didn't lash out. He was happy she didn't, but, couldn't help but wonder why. "So...that's it? You're not going to lecture me about how if I get back onto it, I'm bound to take too much because that's just how I am..and it'll be bad for my health? That I'm running the risk of going back to Mayfield if it gets too out of control?" he paused and studied her expression. "You're hiding something from me aren't you?" he shifted his position to face her and leaned on his right elbow, narrowing his eyes on her. "That's why you aren't as mad as I thought you'd be..because you have a secret too. What have you been hiding, Cuddy?"

"Maybe we should get dressed," she announced. She reached for her clothes and threw his underwear and jeans at him. He obediently listened but never took his eyes off of her as he blindly put them on, watching her as she nervously put on her own clothes, while she avoided to look at him. He waited until she was done and he saw she was purposely looking away from him.

"Cuddy, what is it?" he grabbed hold of her left upper arm to get her attention.

"I don't want to tell you right now," she told him, having finally met his gaze.

"And you think I did?" he asked sarcastically. "C'mon, whatever it is, I'm sure I've heard worse."

She let out a long sigh and looked at him as though she were about to cry and he rethought wanting to hear it himself. "There was something I wanted to tell you soon after we broke up, but never did. Something I ended up never telling anyone." She sighed again but this time it was uneven. "I...found out..." she breathed in deep again, "I was pregnant..and..." her voice became uneven, "I was going to tell you but I-"

"Aborted it?" he cut in.

"What? No!" she lifted her hand to brush hair out of her face and dropped it down quickly when she felt it shaking and jerked her head to move it instead. "I, had a miscarriage," she said looking down sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" he shouted, angry.

She looked up at him showing anger herself, "when? When was I suppose to tell you, House? When you were checked into a hotel screwing every hooker you could find? When you got married? Or...no, I know! After you rammed your car through my house!" she spat out.

He scowled at her, "when did the miscarriage happen? How did it happen?"

"I..." her voice dropped in tone again, no longer screaming at him. "I was actually still pregnant at that time..almost the whole time we were both still at the hospital. I found out not too long before," her gaze shifted between the space in between them on the mattress and his face. "When I wanted you to talk to me, when I wanted to have lunch, I was going to tell you about the pregnancy then."

"And the miscarriage?"

She looked down, "after you did what you did," she said meekly. "I think with all the stress I was going through..." she drifted off, knowing she didn't have to finish.

He didn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. He stared at her stomach, feeling sick that the one thing she wanted for so long, was given to her by him, but, taken away from her because of his violent outburst. "Cuddy, I..." he stopped. Realizing whatever he were to say wouldn't make anything any better. His eyes traveled up to meet hers. "What the hell are you doing with me after I did that to you?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know!" she said in a strained voice, not being able to control the emotions that were pouring out of her. "I wanted to tell you so badly when I found out..but you..." tears came streaming down and she took both palms and rubbed her eyes with them. "But you were so far gone..I...couldn't. I just," she inhaled and her lip got sucked into her mouth and fell back when she exhaled, "a part of me was so excited...because despite what happened with us, I thought, if I talked to you..if I could get you to open up about how you felt, then I could tell you how I felt and then...I would tell you. I thought we could work it out. I was hoping we could..because, I still loved you. I do still love you...that's why I'm with you!" she cried through a laugh answering his question and wiped her tears from her right cheek. "I was so happy that the time I was able to become pregnant was from you," she smiled, and looked at him as he looked back at her with pain in his eyes. "Remember when I was having you do injections when I was trying to get pregnant?" He nodded, and stayed silent, "and I asked after you said that it should be from someone you trust and I asked someone like you..and you said no, someone you like?" she paused to take a breath, and left House in shock because she remembered that conversation so vividly. "I wanted it to be you, House! And, I finally got it..." she kept her eyes focused on him but her vision was so blurred by her tears she couldn't see his reaction to that. She rubbed her eyes and caught a glimpse of sadness for a second before her tears caused her vision to blur again.

"Oh, House," she continued. "I'm so sorry I'm laying this all on you right now. I didn't want to tell you like this with the patient you just had to deal with and," she looked down where she knew the pill bottle was but could barely see it, "and everything...its just when you told me to just tell you...I just..." she took a breath, trying to steady herself. "I was going to tell you, eventually..but..." she started crying, not being able to say any more.

House jogged himself out of his frozen state and sat up and scooted himself over to her and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into his hold and he felt her tears on his bare chest as she continued to cry. He lowered his chin on the top of her head, feeling her arms drape around him, pulling at his back to try and bring him closer. "Cuddy, I'm so sorry," he said softly. He sighed, imagining what could have been if they didn't break up. He figured their child if it came to be would be around two by now, depending on how far along she was when she lost it. He didn't say anything else. He sat there holding her, never loosening his hold as she cried into him...


	46. Chapter 46

Side note to readers: Even though I have sent pretty much all of you replies to reviews at one point or another, there are some of you who I haven't because I can't. So, for the usual ones who always seem to be reading and reviewing, like Alex, Huddygirl, Abby, and so forth, (I picked you guys because you are frequent, but I do include you all in this)... thanks for sticking with me, and all my stories. Just wanted to take that moment to show my appreciation. :) Now that I've said that, on to the next chapter...

House woke up to an empty bed and thought back to the events of the night before. When he predicted she was hiding something from him, he had no idea it would be about a miscarriage. He didn't have the faintest idea of how to fix things and when he expressed it, she said she didn't want him to. All she needed was him right there with her.

So he held onto her for as long as she wanted. He was sure she fell asleep from time to time with her rhythmic breathing but, he didn't move until she told him to. She asked if they could lay on the bed and he scooted down from their sitting position with her and they stared into each others eyes without speaking. He had so many questions left unanswered that he wanted to ask but knew it wasn't the time, so he stayed silent and held her gaze, occasionally wiping away a lone tear that fell from her right eye and landed on the bridge of her nose. He leaned in and gave her light kisses on her cheeks and one on her mouth, which he felt her smile against his lips.

After a couple hours of laying comfortably with her, he started to feel himself dozing off and her hands cupped his face and called his name. He opened his eyes with a struggle and when he did, he saw her smile softly at him and leaned in and kissed him, saying she just wanted to say good night. He mumbled it back but couldn't make the words clear enough and felt her slide in closer to him, resting against his chest and he laid his left arm around her side.

That was the last thing he remembered and now he was alone. He assumed she wouldn't stay the night when she came over but a part of him thought she would still be there after what she confessed. He turned his head to look at the pillow she occupied and swung from laying on his back to his stomach and placed his left hand on the indent that her head left. He winced at the pain in his right thigh and pushed himself into sitting position and reached for his Vicodin bottle. He popped the top and dumped three pills in his right palm when a piece of paper under the same pillow he just had his hand on was sticking out and recognized the handwriting of the note that was scribbled onto it as Cuddy's. He looked down at his pills, placed the bottle down on the nightstand and reached for it with his left hand. It read:

"House,

Please don't think I'm trying to nag you when I say this but, I know you need the Vicodin, and I'm not going to try to talk you out of it if you think it helps. But please, please, don't abuse it. I don't want you to have to go back to Mayfield, and I don't want your health to decline. I need you, House. Now that I have you back, and after you were there for me last night the way I needed you to be...the way no one else could be, the thought of something happening to you if you fall back into a self-destructive mode scares me more than anything. It's not just you that you are destructing anymore. It's me too. I don't want to go back down that road with you. Please be responsible about your intake. I'll see you later at the hospital.

Love you, Cuddy"

House read it a second time, this time taking in sentence by sentence, hearing the pain, the pleading in each one, desperate that it will get through to him. His gaze lingered on "Love you, Cuddy" after he placed it on the mattress next to him and looked into his palm where the three Vicodin pills stared up at him. He closed his hand around them, grabbed the pill bottle with his left hand that he placed on the nightstand and slid two back in the bottle and just took one instead.

He squeezed his eyes shut while he rubbed his leg waiting for it to kick in. When it did, he stopped rubbing and reached for his cane that was up against the wall that was closest to him and used it to get to the bathroom for a shower to get ready to go to the hospital...


	47. Chapter 47

House walked through the lobby a half hour later and saw no signs of Cuddy anywhere in his passing. He kept heading towards the elevator reminding himself that their relationship is still unknown by the staff of the hospital so stuck to his 'relieved he is walking in unnoticed and not given a patient' persona and took the elevator up to his floor.

He tossed his stuff onto his lounge chair when he entered his office and saw his team in the adjoined room engrossed in a conversation. He limped in to listen without them knowing, but his sneakiness was cut short when Chase spotted him and said hi. House grunted a hi back and took a seat at the head of the table and saw they all had open files in front of them for a new patient they were given. "Who gave this to you?" he asked, taking the copy away from Park.

"Cuddy did, a little under an hour ago," Taub informed him.

House lowered the file back onto the desk and Park took it back from him. "Cuddy?"

"Yeah, that's who I said, wasn't it?" Taub answered sarcastically which House overlooked.

"How did she seem?"

Chase looked at House confused. "Why do you care?" he asked suspiciously.

House widened his eyes in shock. "Why do I care? If she's in a good mood then I know I can get away with doing nothing; if she's in a bad mood then I have to find somewhere to hide while you guys fix whatever is wrong with," he took Park's file again. "Andy Swanson."

"Oh," Chase said but still showing suspicion. "She seemed...okay."

House tried to keep his look neutral and nodded. "Okay, good. So," he grabbed his cane and limped to the white board and yanked the top off of one of his markers. "Let's start this differential."

Cuddy stood against her sink of the bathroom in her office and dabbed at her eyes, having locked herself in there for the last half hour to avoid anyone seeing her break down. She felt so stupid. She got to the hospital earlier than usual, trying to occupy her mind with work and it seemed to help until she got a patient for House that she ran up to his team. He wasn't there yet, which she wasn't expecting him to be with it being 8:30 in the morning, but not seeing him made her feel far from him. She wanted to see him, she wanted to look into his eyes and see the caring in them that she saw the night before, the same way she wanted to wake him up before she slid out of his hold a half hour after he fell asleep to leave. Instead, she saw his team, and his empty chair.

She sighed and shook her head, letting out a laugh at how dependent she became on him in the last few days. Now even more that her secret was out, but, she never imagined needing the support of the grumpy, sarcastic, drug addict of a brilliant doctor that she knew for half of her life. Of course as of recent, he was a lot more to her than that. But, she never thought she'd be crying over wanting him close to her physically when it was something so innocent as just not having arrived to work yet, back when she first hired him. Hell, back when she knew him in college, she never expected this.

She heard the sound of her office door open and knew she had to go out there and face whoever it was. She turned to look herself over in the mirror and wiped all the wet smudges she found on her cheeks and and brushed her right hand threw her hair. She nodded at her reflection, satisfied with her fix up and opened the door while looking down and took a step into a body. She looked up and saw House looking at her.

"Can I have a bathroom in my office? I don't think its fair that I don't have one to hide in." She let out a laugh and smiled brightly at him. He lowered his chin to his chest but his eyes stayed on her. "You okay?" he asked, his voice sounding concerned.

"Yeah," she answered still smiling. I'm okay." He looked at her skeptically while raising his right eyebrow and stepped away to give her room to walk out of the bathroom. "When did you get here?" she asked him as she made her way back to her desk and sat down, feeling a sense of ease that she hadn't felt since she got there.

He narrowed his eyes while looking up towards the ceiling when he turned around to face her. "Twenty minutes ago. I just sent my team to do tests on the patient you gave them this morning. So, I came down here to find you."

She smiled at him, "it's good to see you."

"Yeah, well-" he rolled his eyes as his pager went off. She looked down at it as he yanked it free of his right jean pocket. He scowled down at the screen.

"You have to go, don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered frustrated, and shoved it back to where it was a second ago.

"Go, I'll be fine."

His eyes lingered on her. "Okay," he shifted himself to limp to the door feeling her watching him and he turned back after he opened the door. "If you need me for anything...and, I don't mean to give me another patient," he snapped, "I'll be in my office."

Cuddy watched him exit her office and turn to leave the Clinic with a smile, feeling like she could now take on the day knowing he was close by.

House was standing in his office behind his desk playing with a yo-yo when Cuddy walked in three hours after he left from seeing her. She scanned the adjoining room as he pulled the string off of his finger and set the yo-yo onto his desk and look a seat, and sat up straight in his chair to hear what she had to say as she moved over to the chair on the right to face him. "What's going on?" he asked her when he saw the nervousness in her facial expression and body language.

"I uh," she pushed her hair away that was blocking her vision from her right eye while looking down and away, avoiding looking at him. She sighed, "I..." she met his gaze and saw a questionable look staring back at her. "I've been thinking...about...us..." she started to move her hands as she spoke which told him how nervous she was feeling and as if sensing she was giving it away, she shoved her hands down into her lap before continuing. She closed her mouth and exhaled, narrowing her eyes afraid to go any further. "I think I want to try again."

He looked at her confused. "But...isn't that what this is? Haven't we been trying us again? Or was that not you?"

"That's not what I mean...I want to try..." she glanced down at her stomach and back at him, "again." His body fell backward into his chair. His gaze focused on the surface of his desk and his left hand moved up towards his face and his fingers grazed the right side of his scruff as he thought. "House?" she asked nervously. His eyebrows lifted, acknowledging hearing her, and his eyes followed a second later. "House, what are thinking?"

"House," their glances both turned to the sound of Adams' voice coming from his doorway. "Andy Swanson wants to talk to you."

"Can it wait five minutes?" he asked her annoyed. The awkward expression on her face gave him his answer. He sighed and grabbed his cane and got up to follow her out and when he reached the doorway with Adams already ten paces in front of him, he turned to look at Cuddy with a shocked look and left...


	48. Chapter 48

House opened the door to Wilson's office, closed it behind him and took a seat on his couch quietly while Wilson watched him from his desk. "House," he said when he saw his friend continue to stare straight ahead as though he walked into an empty room with no one to speak to. When House didn't answer he tried again. "House, is there something you want to talk about?"

He blinked and turned his head to face Wilson as if seeing him for the first time. "I..." he was at a loss for words, and he knew he showed it by the expression on Wilson's face. He tried again. "I was told..." He shook his head and looked away from him. He wanted to tell him everything but didn't know how, and furthermore, didn't even know where to start. Instead of trying and failing each time, he stood up and exited his office.

House sat at his piano with his hands pressed down on the keys they were on, in position to play but wasn't. He stared at the keys with his eyes blurred out of focus not seeing what was in front of him anymore. Instead, he was back at his desk, and Cuddy was telling him that she wanted to try again. He lifted his left hand off the piano to pick up the glass he had sitting on the top and gulped down the rest of the burboun that was in it. He put the empty glass down and narrowed his eyes on it and poured more into it from the bottle that sat next to the it. He picked the glass back up and started to drink from it when a knock on the door got his attention. His eyes drifted towards the front door and placed the glass down after he was satisfied with the size of the gulp he took. He grabbed his cane that rested against the piano and took it with him and limped over to the door to open it.

"Hey," he said with a head nod when he saw Cuddy on the other side and opened the door wider, stepping out of her way to walk through.

"Hey?" she asked when she turned and saw him close the door.

He sighed, "yeah," he shrugged. She watched him limp to his couch, looking depressed but caught a glimpse of the bottle of his piano that was half empty and his deamnor was explained.

"I..haven't seen you since..." she didn't finish as she went to the couch herself and sat on the middle cushion next to him who opted for the right cushion.

"Cuddy," he started and turned to look at her. "Did you mean what you said?"

She pressed her lips together and looked at him sadly, "of course I did. You don't think I want to try again with you?"

"Do you really know what that entails? All the things, all the quirks that you have always hated about me, could be inflicted upon the kid if we did. You run the risk of having a kid who hates everyone, thinks they are better than most people, has one friend in the world, who by the way, I couldn't even tell what you said to me because no one knows about us! If, something tragic happens they can-"

"House..stop," she interrupted putting her right hand up to stop him and landed it on his thigh. "You think that would bother me? House, I want you to be the father! I know some of your characteristics will be there. I want them to be there!"

"You say that but those are all the things you don't like about me! How can you sit there and tell me that you want to have a kid with me who have some of my personality traits that you've yelled at me constantly to change about myself?"

Cuddy sighed, "that's different," she said starting to get irritated with his resistance.

"How, Cuddy?" he asked desperately. It was then that Cuddy realized he wasn't telling her these things to be a jerk or push her away. He was making sure she thought of all these things before she goes further into something and regrets it later and blames him for her unhappiness.

"House," she started softly, and grabbed his right hand in both of hers. "I know all of this you are telling me. I've thought it all over. But you, are still the one I pick. I know we haven't always been on best terms with each other...and I know its too much to hope for or ask for us to never disagree or fight again, but, dammit, House," she sighed, her eyes looking deeply into his, "there is no one else like you. Even when you were the biggest ass you could be, its who you are. And you are like that because you are brutally honest with people. You tell people how you see it, and I know, you're telling me what you just told me because..that's how you see this. You're being you. You're laying it all out there to make sure I don't do anything rash before I think about everything there is to think about, even if that means I walk away from you and it causes you unhappiness. What you are doing is trying to save me from unhappiness, because as much as you act like you don't care, you're saying all this because you do. That's why, it has to be you. You think I don't want that quality in someone else but, I do. I love that about you."

House grew quiet and looked straight ahead. "I'm terrible with kids."

"House," she said hesitantly, "are you trying to tell me you don't want to do this?" she asked cautiously, trying to hide her sadness that was overwhelming her with the idea of him saying no.

He heard it in her voice and it killed him to see the expression on her face to match it. "I'm telling you that I'm terrible with kids, because I am. Not because-"

"But you're not, House," she said pleading. "Look how you are with Rachel. She loves you! You're better than you think," she paused and went on. "You don't think it would make you feel any more attached if it were half you and half me? You think it wouldn't make any kind of difference?"

She stared at him without blinking, staring at him, waiting for a reaction to what she said. He was silent which left her nervous. "If we are thinking of doing this...we have to tell the hospital about us and not be a secret anymore. There's no way I can go through something like this and not talk to Wilson about it. Then we can start trying. If you want," he told her turning his head and saw a smile across her face.

"Okay. We'll tell people tomorrow," he nodded and she cupped his face in both hands and kissed him.

"It's getting late," he stated when she pulled away. "I was going to get to bed soon before you came so-"

"I don't want to go home."

He gazed into her eyes questionably. "You were planning on staying here? What about Rachel?"

"My sister has her for the night. I called her to get her before I came over here."

"Because you were so sure I'd agree and let you stay over," he said sarcastically as he grabbed his cane to lean on and stood with Cuddy getting up with him.

"No. But I imagined it would take all night to get you to agree, so I needed to know she was being watched," she told him with a smirk.

He exhaled a laugh and smiled at her and lingered for a couple seconds, staring into her eyes before he turned around to go to his bedroom with Cuddy at his left and she swung her right arm around his back. "So, how's your patient doing?" she asked trying to make conversation.

"Dead."

"What?" she asked surprised, looking up at him while she stopped walking with him.

"To me...he's getting discharged tomorrow. He's fine."

She smiled and leaned back into him and continued to walk down the hall with him to his bedroom...


	49. Chapter 49

House wandered back into Wilson's office early the next morning which sent Wilson into a state of confusion. "It's 9:00 in the morning. First off, what are you doing awake, and second, what are you doing here?"

"I was woken up," House answered, plopping down onto Wilson's couch and stretched his legs out in front of him after dropping his cane to the floor.

"Ah, so, you've committed murder to whomever woke you, and you've come to me for help to lift the body to bury it where no one will ever find it, is that it?"

House smirked, remembering how he was woken up. Cuddy stayed the night and was used to waking up much earlier than House, so, this morning was no different. He vaguely remembered feeling her rub her right hand lazily up and down his bare chest and stomach which made him stir a bit, but wasn't enough to fully wake him up. So, she shifted herself up to him and kissed him lightly on his lips repeatedly until she felt the kisses back. She opened her eyes and pulled away to see that his opened and looked back at her.

She smirked at him and threw her right leg around him and left kisses all the way down starting from his chin, to his neck, chest and stomach, until she reached the seam of his pajama pants. She scooted her body down, dug her left hand into his pants and pulled him out. He watched as she did all of this and started stroking him and took his tip into her mouth and twirled her tongue around it, hearing him panting in need then took the rest into her mouth.

House was reliving the moment so vividly, he nearly forgot he was sitting in Wilson's office until he called his name. He gave him a scowl in having interrupted his memory, but was brought back to the conversation he wanted to have with him.

"So, Cuddy and I are having sex again," he blurted out. He paused and examined the stunned look on Wilson's face and decided to go further. "She also wants a baby...with me," he lifted his left palm up to his chest. Wilson was speechless, barely comprehending what he just heard. House stood to leave and limped across the office to the door but stopped before opening it, looked back at Wilson who was still staring at the couch that House just vacated. "I told her I wanted to tell people about us before trying for the baby. So, I wanted you to hear it from me...before you overhear the other kids talking about it during recess." House left Wilson with his own thoughts and went to his office to meet with his team.

Wilson went down to Cuddy's office a half hour later having reached the point of movement, wanting to see if what he heard was true. "Hey Wilson," Cuddy said cheerfully when he entered and looked up from her paperwork.

"Oh God, it's true," he said more to himself then her and dropped his body into the chair next to her couch in shock.

"What's true?" she said questionably, furrowing her brow with a hint of amusement wrapped in.

"You are having sex with him again," he said stunned looking at her coffee table.

"With House?" His glance having found hers, with his expression having shown even more shock at how casually she said it told her he wasn't as thrilled about their choice as she secretly hoped. He had always been the one to pull for them to be together and this reaction from him was discomforting. "Do you...think it was a stupid idea for us to move so forward so quickly?" she asked hesitantly.

"The sex? Well, that, I'm actually surprised that hasn't happened yet. Despite everything you have gone through with each other you've always been like animals in heat...the worst kind of torturous heat when around each other. So, I'm shocked it took this long," he told her more in a tone that was more himself. "But...a baby?"

Cuddy sat back in her chair and looked down awkwardly, "he told you about that."

"It's true then? All of it? When you confessed to the sex I assumed that it was true but.." he said, not finishing.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone. I just want our relationship to be out right now, not what we're trying to do. Also, there's more to the story as to why we decided on it...I...decided on it," she corrected. "And I told him I decided and well..."she looked up and saw an eager expression, wanting an explanation. "I'm sorry, Wilson, I can't tell you all of it yet. I'm not ready. And by the looks of that questionable look on your face, he left that for me if I wanted to tell. But, right now, I don't want to. However, yes, we are trying," she furrowed her brow again. "Or at least, we talked about..trying.." she thought back to the blow job she woke him up with knowing that did nothing for them as far as trying for a baby went but, she loves the way he gets during one, she couldn't help herself. She smiled while thinking back to the sounds of his groaning.

"Cuddy, you do realize this is House you asked, don't you?"

She was pulled out of her thought, "Yeah, and you sound exactly like him by asking that." She smiled and let out a laugh. "The truth is, Wilson, I love him. As much as I thought I hated him all these years I knew him because of all the things that make him who he is, and while going on all those stupid dates with all the stupid boring men I've come across, you excluded," she corrected herself remembering the times years ago they went out a few times although neither of them called them 'dates,' they had to have been. She saw he seemed appreciative of excluding him which told her he did in fact think they were dates, "and me being with someone else, when I was with Lucas...it just...it made me realize that I needed him. I wouldn't be happy unless I was with him," she paused but Wilson stayed quiet, knowing by her expression she wasn't done. "I suppose we weren't always happy all the time when we were a couple..we tried. Then, we broke up, and well...but the not seeing him, trying to convince myself I hated him, after I realized I loved him, which for what he did, made it easy, but, also I hated him because what he did forced me to get him out of my life. That's what I hated him the most about," she sighed. "Now being back...I want to be closer to him. I want this to happen. I want a baby with House." She smiled softly, which was the indication that her rant was over.

Wilson's eyes widened, taking everything in and used both hands to help push himself up from planting them on the arm rests of the chair and lifting his body up. "If that's what the two of you want, then..who am I stand in your way? But, Cuddy," he looked thoughtful at the floor, then back at her. "I'd hate to see this tear the two of you apart if you're not equally invested in this. So, make sure you are truly ready for this," he put his hands up in surrender in case she argued. "I'm not trying to talk you out of it..I'm saying, this is a big thing. Rushing it, rushing House into anything as big as this...he might be fine about it now. But, I just don't want it to blow up into something that pushes the two of you further away. So please, make sure you both really do want this at this stage of your relationship."

Without saying anything else, Wilson let himself out and Cuddy stared at her door that she saw him disappear from and bit the bottom of her right lip thinking over what Wilson just told her, then got up to go to House's office...


	50. Chapter 50

Cuddy found House sitting at his desk with a large cup of coffee next to him from the cafeteria and she walked over to the left seat across from his desk, and sat, relieved that he was alone. He kept his eye on the screen, not knowing it was her until she spoke.

"House, I need to ask you something."

He shifted in his position to face her and gave her a curious look, "about what?"

"I...don't know if what we're doing right now is something we should be doing now," she said awkwardly.

"You mean working? Because I would like to go home so if you think we shouldn't be then," he rolled his chair away from the desk to free himself.

"House," he froze and looked at her. "That's not what I mean," she said in her irritated boss voice, as he rolled his chair back in and she quickly changed back to girlfriend voice. "I don't think we should rush into this baby thing. Maybe we should be a couple longer, then take it from there."

House shrugged, "okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say about it is 'okay?'" Cuddy's voice raised.

He sat back in his chair and looked confused, "what do you want me to say? 'No, I don't accept that. I'm going to screw your brains out every time I get the chance until this happens, I don't care if you want to have one or not.' Is that what you want to hear?"

"No! At least sound like you want to have a baby! That it's not just me who wanted it to happen!"

"You are the one who brought it up. So...you were the one who put it out there..I wasn't the one who said it! I was busy wrapping my mind around the damn miscarriage!"

"Um, should we...come back?" Taub asked awkwardly.

House and Cuddy both looked towards the door, startled to hear a voice, and saw House's whole team near his door. Cuddy turned away from them cowering in her chair in embarrassment. House closed his eyes with a sigh, wishing he noticed them before his outburst. He opened his eyes and saw them all staring, waiting awkwardly to be told what to do when House spoke calmly to them. "Go to the Clinic and do my hours for me. I'll be there to get you when I can." They nodded and turned to leave, with all of their glances lingering on Cuddy's back, full of concern. House waited until Chase left, being the last one out and closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry," House said meekly, staring at the surface of his desk, not meeting Cuddy's gaze. "I didn't mean for them to hear that."

"The miscarriage is bothering you?" Cuddy asked, accepting his apology.

"You think it wouldn't? Shit, Cuddy, I'm the reason the miscarriage happened! You think that didn't screw with my head?"

Cuddy sighed, her expression full of sadness, "Wilson was right. If I pushed you to continue with this whole- baby thing- it would have blown up in my face and it would have pushed you away."

"Wilson? You told Wilson about the miscarriage?"

"No, I told him about the baby thing, which you told him first, so, I didn't do anything wrong!" she snapped getting defensive but calmed down when she saw the scowl on his face reacting to her raised tone, and it made her realize that she was the only one getting worked up. He just asked a simple question. "He wanted to make sure that I wasn't pushing you into agreeing. That you weren't just saying yes to make me happy, when really, you weren't as into the idea as I am." She analyzed his face as he took in what she said and his silence told her that Wilson was right. He was just trying to keep her happy. "House, I do love you, and I do want this with you...but, we'll do it when it's right for both of us. I don't want us to screw things up this time."

He nodded, with a hint of relieve in hearing those words from her. "Okay."

He watched her smile at him as she stood to leave and turned around before she reached for the door. "You want to come stay the night at my place tonight? Rachel will want to see you. Since, we're making us known here, I don't see why we have to hide it from her anymore."

He smiled with a chuckle, "okay, sure, what time?"

She wrinkled her nose, "7:30?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there. Should I eat first?"

"No...I'll feed you," she turned to open the door and poked her head around both corners, wanting to tell him something else before she left but made sure it will only be heard by him. "House," she said, facing him and watched as he looked away from his computer back at her. "I know...we might not be doing the baby thing for a while, but...that doesn't mean you still can't screw my brains out whenever you get the chance," she said with a smirk, thinking back to what he said earlier.

He grinned mischievously at her, "I have some time now."

She tilted her head, letting out a laugh, "you have Clinic hours to do. I'll see you tonight." His smile lingered as he watched her exit his office and walk down the hall with her hips swaying more than usual for his benefit...


	51. Chapter 51

House limped through Cuddy's path to her front door after parking his motorcycle on her curb and knocked on the door with the hook of his cane. He squinted one eye, listening for noise on the other side of the door and heard little feet running, which his instincts told him to look down. Rachel threw open the door beaming up at his serious expression he gave her. "Hi House!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"You don't ask who it is before you answer the door? It might not have been me you know? Then you would have let in a stranger...who would steal all your toys," he told her as he limped passed her inside the house, dropping his jacket on the table in the entryway.

"I knew it was you by the way you knocked!" she screamed back. "I didn't need to ask!"

"Yeah, well, next time I won't knock that way...and you better ask!" he called out over his shoulder, hearing her running to catch up with him after she shut the door and went into the kitchen with him to look for Cuddy who was standing over the stove, turned it off and looked over at House smiling and saw Rachel standing at his side, not wanting to move until he did.

"I let him in Mommy!"

"I see that, Honey, go wash up before we eat." Cuddy watched as Rachel rushed down the hall but came back at the same speed and grabbed hold of House's left leg as a hug and then scampered back into the hall to obey what Cuddy told her. She smiled as Rachel disappeared and House came limping into the kitchen to stand next to her. He bent down and greeted her with a kiss. "I told you she missed you," Cuddy told him when they parted.

"I just gave you my best quick kiss and you were thinking of the kid?" he asked in surprise. He took a step away to sit down in defeat when he felt a tug at his shirt that brought him back to her and she hooked her left arm around his neck and gave him a hard open mouth kiss with her tongue teasing the tip of his and plunged deep into his mouth and twirled around twice and pulled away before Rachel came back in to see them. He took a second to compose himself, "okay so that was the best quick kiss...a tease, but, not something I regret," they smiled seductively at each other and House turned away to sit at the table when he heard Rachel re-enter the kitchen.

"House!" Rachel shouted to get his attention when he sat down.

"What is it kid?" he asked looking at her from across the table where she chose to sit.

"Did you miss coming over when you were away?" she asked eagerly.

He raised his left eyebrow at her avoiding her question. "Why are you acting like you haven't seen me in years? I saw you not that long ago. Don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember! But what I mean is did you miss coming to our house? You've never been to this one yet!" her body jerked with the emphasis of the word 'yet.'

"Actually," House started in the same tone he uses on his team right before he's about to insult them which caused Cuddy to swing her head around and look at him nervously. "I've been here before. You weren't home, you're Mommy sent you away to your Aunt's place."

"House!" Cuddy screamed out, angrily which she saw he ignored, keeping his gaze on Rachel, watching her reaction.

"Why would Mommy do that?" Rachel challenged, and Cuddy saw that she had the same intensity on her face as he did.

"She wanted me all to herself," House answered casually, leaning back in his chair.

"You're lying. You were never here."

House sat back up and leaned forward and impressed that Rachel never showed any signs of backing down. "You just went to the bathroom, that's the first door to the right, your bedroom is next but on the left, your Mom's room is at the far end."

Rachel looked away from House over to Cuddy. "Why did you have me leave, Mommy?" she asked Cuddy sounding hurt.

Cuddy glared at House while setting his plate of food in front of him and did the same with Rachel, "we needed to talk and catch up, you know, grown up stuff," House smirked at that while diving into his food with his fork. "But, you're here now because we're done with all that now." House frowned slightly, not liking the sound of that and felt Cuddy's glare on him which he disliked even more, feeling as though it made his interpretation true.

"Okay," Rachel said in a sigh, letting go of the night she missed out on.

They didn't talk much during dinner, except the silent communication between Rachel and House. She kept a close eye on House across from her who knew she was watching so threw her an occasional distorted face that sent her into giggles. Cuddy quietly observed the two of them together with a smile for as long as it went on. After their plates were nearly cleared Rachel seemed to be growing tired before their eyes. Her lids were drooping lower and lower after each blink and Cuddy told her it was time for bed. She resisted, not wanting to have to go to bed before them. "You're not missing out on anything, honey, we're going to bed too." As if that sealed it, Rachel succumbed to Cuddy's hold when she lifted her out of her seat and carried her to her room to put her to sleep.

While Cuddy was occupied, House put all the plates in the sink and started rinsing them so they will be easier to wash later until she came back in. "House, come on, leave them," she told him, grabbing his left hand into her right and dragged him behind her to follow where she was going. She reached for his cane where he left it and brought it with them to her bedroom.

Cuddy let go of House's hand when they reached her bedroom, closed her door and walked to her closet to grab something to change into while House took his socks and shoes off and just laid in her bed under her covers dressed as is. A couple minutes later Cuddy came back in from having slipped into the bathroom to change that is connected to her bedroom and laid under the covers next to him.

She shifted her head onto the pillow that she laid on and looked at him, "do you want to talk about how you feel towards the miscarriage?"

"No," he answered flatly, looking at the ceiling.

"Do you think you'll ever want to talk about it?" she pressed on.

He inhaled and thought that over before giving her an answer. "I don't know."

She shifted her head away from looking at him and looked at the ceiling. "Are we kidding ourselves with this relationship?"

That got his attention to look at her, "you're asking me this now? I thought the whole point of today and tonight coming here on a night Rachel was here was to move forward. And now that we took all those steps you want to go backward? That sounds like the kind of thing I would do," he shifted his gaze back to the ceiling after he saw that's where her attention stayed.

"I guess I'm just trying to beat you to it," she said softly.

His head turned back towards her, "are you waiting for me to do it? Is this your way of telling me you want out?" This time he kept his eye on her.

She turned to face him, having felt his glance, "no, it's not what I want. I told you how I feel about this...us.." she drifted off not entirely sure where she wanted the conversation to go now that she started it and had his attention. "You aren't telling me you love me," she added softly before he could get a word in.

"Do you really need to hear it that badly? It didn't work out for us too well last time, did it? And anyway, I told you I never stopped when you came to see me when I was brought in after hitting my head...that's what started this whole thing to begin with for us to try and be more then boss-employee. So, I don't know why you have to have me say it to you again."

"But, look how many fights we've had since then. I like to hear it...you show it, why can't you say it?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

"Exactly, I show it. You don't need to hear it when I show you I care."

"You can't even tell me that you're showing me you love me? You have to use the word 'care'...why is that? The only reason I can think of is that you don't. That you were just lying to me when you said you never stopped as one of your games to see how far this will go. The same way you used to borrow money from Wilson to see how much you can get from him. If that's the case maybe this was a bad idea, and maybe you should leave."

"Oh come on, Cuddy! Now you're just being ridiculous!" he shifted from laying down to his side, using his left elbow to prop him up. "You think I would be here..doing all this spending time with you...agreeing to having a baby with you..if I didn't love you?"

"I don't know, House!" she screamed back. "You manipulate to get what you want. All the time! How do I know you're not doing all this just to get sex?"

He scowled at her for being so stubborn. "I guess you don't do you?" he dropped his elbow and flopped his body around to have his back to her.

"You can be a real bastard sometimes," she told his back.

"And you can be a real bitch," he snapped back without missing a beat.

Her gaze landed on his hand that started rubbing his thigh. "You need your pills?"

"I'm fine," he answered coldly, she heard strain in his voice trying to fight through the pain. She hated that he had the ability to pull at all her emotions at once. That she can be angry at him one minute like she just was, and be overly concerned about him the next. She shifted her body over to her end of the bed to get up. She left the bedroom in search for his pills and found them in his jacket pocket and saw that there seemed to be a lot still in there. She sighed, closing her eyes thinking of when she asked him in the note she left to take them responsibly, and by the looks of how many he still had he was. His actions were showing he loved her. "Dammit, House," she mumbled to herself in a whisper, wishing he would have just said it and not have caused her to get mad at him.

She walked back into her bedroom and closed the door behind her and stopped at his side of the bed to face him. She saw pain in his expression as he continued to rub and she opened the bottle for him and took out two pills. He took them from her palm and sat up and popped them in his mouth and laid back down. "Better?"

"I will be in a minute," he answered, and closed his eyes in anticipation.

She kept her eye on him for a few seconds before she walked around the bed back to her side, enjoying the sight of him. All that he said was true, he was there, and being who he is, and how he is, in that moment of watching him as he waited for his pills to set in, seemed like enough. She knew he loved her, and that alone made her feel more at ease then a few minutes before.

House felt the movement of the bed as she got back in and he turned onto his back. They laid next to each other in silence both staring at the same spot on the ceiling without knowing it.

A few minutes went by and House turned his body again, this time from laying on his back to on top of Cuddy. "You think she's asleep yet?" he asked with a grin, like their argument never happened.

"Oh, so you still think you're having sex tonight after what you said to her tonight? And, how you just were to me?" she retorted but showed no signs of pushing him off of her.

"You're really going to hold that against me?" he whined and bent his head down and gave her an open mouth kiss on the right side of her neck, caressing her skin with his tongue. He felt her left arm wrap around him, her hand landing on the middle of his back, her nails digging in reacting to the feel of what he was doing and knew he won so instead of continuing talking, he slid his mouth down to the center of her neck and gave her the same kind of kiss.

Her breathing was getting louder and he felt her legs slide apart from under him. He felt as though something was still in between them, something that wasn't allowing her to give him full access in between her legs. He threw the blankets off of them, feeling they were in the way, and he bent his left leg for balance and slipped his hands lower to feel around for the obstruction and determined it the bottom of the over-sized shirt she chose to sleep in, thinking the baggier the shirt, the more he would stay away. If anything it just made him want her more. He visualized what was underneath it and needed it.

He pushed the shirt up and felt her lift her body slightly off the mattress so he could pull it up without much struggle and he met her gaze that was fixed on him seductively, ready for him as he worked the shirt above her head with her arms up to help him. He threw it to his right and kissed her. She wrapped her legs around him, frowning into his kiss when she felt fabric still on him. As if knowing what she was thinking by the change in the feel of her return to his kiss he broke it and yanked his pants down and pulled his underwear down with them and tossed them in the same direction he did her shirt. When he positioned himself to be face to face with her again she grabbed the sides of his shirt he still had on and she took it off of him.

He bent down to kiss her again and she wrapped her arms around his back and he lowered himself to kiss her neck and reached behind him to unwrap her arms. She looked down at him in confusion but he was busy kissing her so never saw the expression. She laid her head down onto her pillow and felt him move lower and lower. He lingered on her breasts, sucking on each one, not leaving them without kissing them both and reached her stomach. When he did she heard him shifting his body, grabbed her underwear that were still on and slowly slid them off then grabbed both her legs and bent them up and apart, and slid back up to her and started to thrust inside.

He kept his lips locked with hers while he moved faster and faster inside of her to try and muffle the noises coming from them both as they got closer to climax. They both moaned into each others mouths and House slumped down onto Cuddy to catch his breath before he turned over to his side of the bed. When he did, Cuddy curled up into a ball next to him and stretched her left arm across his stomach.

She looked down at his thigh and thought about the pain he was in. "Is your leg feeling any better?"

He shrugged, "sure."

She frowned, "lets switch sides."

"What?" he asked while he turned his head to look at her.

"Lets switch sides, I want to massage it. I have been taking those classes...I just started them and I want to try out what I've learned." She pushed her body weight up by pressing her right hand down on the mattress and straddled him to slide to the other side but he grabbed her hips to hold her there instead. She smiled at him and bent down to kiss him and ended it, despite his need for it to continue. She landed on the other side of him with his hold still around her so she wouldn't fall as her hands pushed on his side to get him to scoot over to where she was laying.

"Ow!" he whined at her force against his side.

"Move over!" she insisted.

He extended his left hand and grabbed part of the sheet to use to help pull himself over and reached the pillow she was using before the switch. "House," she said after she gently wrapped her hands around his thigh and watched him close his eyes with her touch.

"Yeah?"

"I don't feel like we've talked enough about having a baby and the miscarriage," she said softly.

His eyes popped open and his head turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"They are big things and I think we should talk more about it then we have. I've been thinking of what Wilson said about rushing into things that are big, and it blowing up...I know he was just talking about the baby at the time only because he doesn't know about the miscarriage, and then him saying to make sure its what we both want at this stage-"

"But, we talked about it, we agreed to wait."

"House, we need to talk more. Otherwise, Wilson's right about us. If it's not this, then something else will come along that we won't talk about and it'll blow up just like he thought with this. And, we can't talk long at the hospital because one of us always gets interrupted-" she noticed since his last comment his eyes wandered off of her over to something else and looked at where he was looking and saw that he was looking at her breasts that were still exposed. "House!"

"What?" he asked loudly in defense meeting her gaze.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Yeah, yeah," his eyes dropped back to where they were, "Wilson's right about us, we don't talk.." he drifted, enjoying how her breasts moved with the rhythm of her massaging his leg.

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!" she shouted angrily.

He frowned as she let go of his leg and pulled the blankets up around her to cover herself. "Okay, fine," his eyes locked with hers and his softened, "we're not going to sleep tonight are we?"

"I want to make sure we are on the same page with everything," she said desperately.

He sighed, knowing she was right, "okay, then what do you want to start with?"

"I want to know how you really feel about the miscarriage."...


	52. Chapter 52

House bent down and covered himself from the waist down while throwing her a look of 'if I can't look neither can you,' and his gaze shifted to a more serious one as his eyes stayed on her, trying to find the words to answer her question. "The way I feel about the miscarriage..." he continued to search his mind for how to phrase it. "Shit, do we have to start with this?"

She sighed and looked away from him. "No, I guess we don't have to tonight," she said softly, knowing he was having a hard time expressing himself and was afraid to push him so far he would run away before they got any further.

He scowled, upset with himself for making her look sad. "It was my fault you had it!" he blurted out. She looked at him surprised, but stayed quiet. "Sure, okay, it was my fault you were pregnant in the first place, and I'm sorry for that," he saw the sadness come back and he squeezed his eyes shut knowing that was a dumb thing to say. "I know you wanted to get pregnant, and you said you wanted it to be with me...I don't mean I'm sorry I gave you that..I..." he sighed heavily, frustrated with himself for not being wired to be able to have conversations like these, like an intellectual man ought to be able to have, instead of sounding like a babbling moron. "The timing of it was all wrong. I'm not sorry about the pregnancy but I am sorry about.." his gaze dropped down to her stomach.

"House, I don't blame you for that. I-"

"You should! It was because of all the stress I put you through that did it! You said so yourself that-"

"I know," she said softly and placed her right hand on his chest to get him to stop yelling and felt his heart racing. "House," she said concerned, looking at where she was touching him. "House, it wasn't all your fault. I was the one who kept the pregnancy to myself-"

He scoffed, "yeah, you already told me why you didn't tell me about that. Because I was too busy-"

"House!" she shouted, getting angry at him for placing all the blame onto himself. "That was my decision to not tell you during all those times. Yes, your self- destruction is why I didn't. I wasn't lying about that. But, I was hoping...I..." now Cuddy was struggling to find the right words. She sighed before she went on, "I was probably doing the damage to myself by holding all that anger in towards you, and by not telling you. I should have lashed out and yelled at you for being a self-destructive moron. But instead, I chose distance. You chose destruction. Those combined caused the miscarriage. It wasn't all you."

She searched his face that was now looking past her for what he was thinking but he left no indication. No relief or continued blame. "So that's what you truly believe? That we were equally at fault for what happened?"

"That is what I believe."

His gaze fell back upon her, "then why try it again?"

That hit her worse then anything he had ever said in all their stupid fights since she came back. "What do you mean?" she asked fearful for the answer.

"If we were both the ones to screw it up, what's to say we won't screw it up again?" She bit the inside of her cheek to hold in the emotions that took over by those words but it was too late. He was getting blurred from the tears that were welling up in her eyes and she shifted her body to have her back to him so he wouldn't see. He hated himself for making her sad. "Cuddy," he said softly, placing his left hand on her back and scooted his body over to her and spooned her when he got close enough. "It's just a question. I'm not shutting the door on the idea."

"I know," she said through tears, her voice strained with emotion. She shifted back around carefully to not break his hold on her and he saw her tears streaming down and she wiped them away with her right hand, seeing the pain in his eyes for what he caused. "I know you're not, but, what if you're right? What if we do everything right, and it still doesn't take?"

He exhaled with his mouth closed and removed his hand from holding her to brush her hair away from her face. His hand traveled to her neck and he dug his face in between hers and the pillow, signalling to her that he wanted to hug her. She lifted her head off of the pillow and his took her place as she rested her head on to his, with her left ear touching his right. Both their bodies were still bare and there was something comforting in the way he held her so close without it leading to sex. Neither of them were thinking about it, they were just both trying to comfort one another. "Cuddy, back when I was doing injections for you...you said that you wanted it to be me...why didn't you ever ask?"

She let out a laugh and wrapped her right arm tightly around him. "You never would have said yes."

"You don't know that," he answered so quietly she almost didn't hear it.

She loosened her grip on him and pushed away slightly to meet his gaze and looked at him with shock. "What are you telling me, House?"

"I'm saying if you asked me-"

"No," she said to stop him from saying what she thought he was going to. "You never wanted to be a father. We weren't a thing back then. I wanted it to be you but I-"

"Never thought I'd have the ability to care for another human being other than myself," he snapped.

"No, that's not it. I..." she shook her head in disbelief. "Okay. You want to know the truth?"

"This hasn't been the truth so far? Are you secretly in love with Wilson?"

She scowled at him for trying to make a joke in the middle of what they were talking about and continued when she saw he responded with turning serious again. "When I came to thank you...I must have told you this..." he kept his gaze on her which told her she may have been wrong. She looked away from him, down to his chest. "When I came down to thank you, I was going to ask you then. But...I just couldn't," she looked back up at him. "I walked away, out of your office and never gave it a second thought to ask."

"You should have."

"House...are you saying...you would have agreed?" she barely got the last word out.

"I'm saying I would have thought seriously about it if you did, and who knows, I may have. I gave you hell back then but..I didn't like your choices you had to select from and if you really wanted to see it through, I would have done it just to save you from having a kid that was socially awkward or," she gave him a skeptical look, "bad example. A kid who..laughs when he's nervous, or..what were the other gems you had lined up?" she smiled at him, "point is.. if you told me back then that you trusted me, that you liked me and wanted me over those guys..." he looked away from her and thought about what a big deal a baby is, "I may have left you with all the responsibility but.." he glanced at her again, with a less serious expression, "you were pretty much prepared to do that anyway, right?" he asked with a smirk.

She hit his chest playfully and turned her back to him again which he found his position to hold her again once she settled, leaving her wondering how much truth was in what he said. "You're a liar and a jerk," she told him but not in anger.

He rested his chin on her exposed shoulder. "Maybe, but, I guess you'll never know the truth about what I would have said back then if you asked will you? Because I'm such a jerk," he paused, "and a liar, I'd probably lie to you and agree only to pull out at the last minute." He lifted his chin to look at her side view, "and yes, I mean that exactly how it sounds," he rested his chin back where it was, and Cuddy took notice of his voice changing to sounding tired. "If you wanted any of my swimmers it wouldn't be handed over in a cup. I'd insist on doing it the fun way or not at all." She smiled and chucked her deep-throat chuckle that made him grip on to her tighter and slid his hand from her side that was against the mattress over to her stomach and rested there. "Someday, I'll make a little deposit in here. And we'll just see what happens," he said sleepily. "Can we...sleep now?" he asked starting to sound mumbled.

She lifted his hand from her stomach and kissed it then placed it back, "yeah. We can talk more later," she stared at the wall thinking over what he said she should have done back then and started imagining what her life would have been like if she did ask, and he had said yes. She inhaled and let it out slowly enjoying the moment of feeling safe in his hold. "House?"

"Mmmm?"

"I love you."

"Mmm, love you too," he answered through a mumble, but clear enough for her to make it out. She smiled to herself and turned to face him. She traced his face with her right pointer finger and hooked his chin and leaned in and gave him a soft kiss which she felt he responded with what little strength he had left. She laid her head back onto her pillow and ran her hand through his hair, slid her hand down to his back, held him tightly, and wrapped her leg over his hip and pressed her body against his and fell asleep...


	53. Chapter 53

Cuddy woke up and extended her arm to feel House next to her but opened her eyes and saw an empty side of the bed. She looked around her room for him but didn't see him, then over at the bathroom door that she thought she might see closed but saw wide open. She frowned while throwing the blankets off of herself, looking down feeling a draft, forgetting she fell asleep with nothing on and walked around the other side of her bed where she remembered House threw her shirt after he took it off of her.

She slipped it over her head and grabbed her underwear and stuck one leg in at a time and pulled them up. She gave one last look over and took notice of his clothes gone also. She knew he had to have put them on before leaving the room but seeing them not there just left her feeling alone. She sighed, wishing she woke up when he did to see him before he left, or maybe talk him into staying before he got the chance to leave. She turned her doorknob to open her door and rubbed the right side of her face with her hand while walking towards Rachel's room to wake her up.

She saw her door was open but she didn't remember doing that when she tucked her in. Cuddy always made a point of closing her door, especially on nights that House stayed, and poked her head in with confusion. Her heart beat faster in her chest when she saw an empty bed with messed up blankets. "Rachel?" she asked panicked.

"In here, Mommy!" she screamed from the kitchen.

Cuddy leaned against the doorway and sighed, putting her hand to her chest and walked in the direction of her daughter's voice. She saw her sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal with a glass of orange juice next to her. "Rachel, did you get all that on your own?"

"No. House got it!" she answered cheerfully with a smile. Cuddy smiled and looked around for him. "He's gone, Mommy," Rachel continued, when she saw her look around.

"Gone?"

"Yeah. He said he had to go to work or..." Rachel squinted her eye thinking, and Cuddy was amazed how much she reminded her of House when she did that, "or you would be mad at him for not saving people's lives and I would never see him here again." Rachel frowned, "he had to go, Mommy. I want to see him again!"

"Oh, honey," Cuddy said, walking over to her and put her arm around her shoulders for comfort. "You know I'd let him come back to see you," she said trying to reassure her.

"But," she looked away from her cereal bowl up at her, "you didn't let him come back last time. Was that because he wasn't saving lives?"

Cuddy's hand left her shoulders and ran it through Rachel's hair, "no, that was because of something else. But don't worry, that won't happen again," she told her, hoping that was the truth. Rachel accepted that as an answer and dove back into her cereal with a smile on her face.

Cuddy waited until she was done eating, told her to get dressed and brought her to school. She reached the hospital an hour later knowing House had to have been there by now. Even if he were to stop at his place to shower and change clothes, that gave him enough time to do all that and get there in plenty of time.

She went to her office, slipped out of her jacket, and placed her briefcase on her desk. Before settling in, she cut through the Clinic and lobby to reach the elevator to go to his floor. She wanted to see him before she started the day and thank him for feeding Rachel before he left. The elevator doors slid apart and she walked through the hallway looking at her feet as she got closer with a smile on her face that she couldn't manage to wipe off, until she looked through the glass wall to his room that was adjoined to his office and saw he sat there surrounded by his team. She frowned, not knowing if he told them yet about their relationship, so knew she couldn't be obvious until she knew for sure. All they discussed was Wilson knowing.

"That's crap! You can't claim you know all the types of guys that are out there when you-" House stopped his analyzing Park's behavior when Cuddy walked in. His body language changed to wanting to hide, which answered what she wondered a minute ago. His team didn't know yet. "Dr. Cuddy," he announced, turning his head away from looking at the faces sitting at the table where he sat to face her and she saw a soft expression that he flashed at her before his team caught on, and went back to scanning the table but still spoke to her. "You here to agree with me on what I say about Park, or, are you here to give these guys something to do while I take a nap?" he swung his head back in her direction, "I didn't get as much sleep as I wanted last night..I was up, well..pleasing a certain someone before I slept so-"

"Oh God, do you have to talk about your hookers?" Adams chimed in. "It's bad enough you've flaunted them around here for interviews before, but now you have to tell us and your boss when you 'please them?'" she asked with disgust. House threw her an innocent look, "when have I ever-?"

"Flaunt them?" Cuddy interrupted, sternly.

House's head whipped back around, "it was way before you came back here," he told her.

"Interviews?" she crossed her arms over her chest, "for what exactly?" he cowered in his seat, knowing that having the likes of Park and Adams on his team, even if he lied to try and get out of his situation, they would fink on him. "I..." He felt relief flood over him when he saw the door open and a familiar face enter. "Oh look! My long lost dirty boy has come back," House announced with a smirk as Foreman walked in.

"Dirty; funny, 'cause I'm black."

"That was the connection. What do you need? Money? I'm sorry if you're looking to stay, Park took your room so..." he looked around, "I don't think I can squeeze you in anywhere."

Foreman raised his right eyebrow at him skeptically. "You seem different. You seem almost...happy."

House grinned at him, "you always were the smartest one," he said pointing his left pointer finger at him.

"Hey!" Chase butted in, taking offense.

House turned his head away from Foreman to look at Chase. "Oh you know it's true," he swung his head back to Foreman with a wide grin. "Mommy and Daddy have gotten back together!" he announced in fake excitement to go along with his parent act.

"Really?" he asked still skeptical, then looked over at Cuddy who stood next to his chair without recoiling in anger. "Really?" he asked her in surprise.

Cuddy leaned her hip into House, knowing she wanted to go back to what they were discussing before he came in but knew it wasn't the time, and grabbed the back of House's head with her right hand and tangled her fingers inside his hair, "really," she said in all seriousness.

House's grin grew at the surprise on Foreman's face and looked over at Chase whose mouth fell agape at the news. "See, that's what I mean by smarter. He knew something was going on after being here for a couple seconds. I've been with you all morning!"

"Yeah, but, she only just came in!" he retorted in his defense.

"Doesn't count. He sensed something different about me not her!"

Chase frowned and House got bored and looked back at Foreman. "Seriously, what do you want?"

He inhaled and shifted awkwardly, "Iiii, need your team. We were about to operate on a guy, thinking we knew what was wrong but...another symptom came up. We don't know what he has."

House blinked hard in surprise. "So, you want just my team? You don't want me?"

"No."

"Fooooorrrreeemaaaann," he said in a hurt tone, with a fake cry, "I...took you under my wing for soooo long and this," he bit his lip and put his hand up to his mouth after wiping away an invisible tear for a dramatic effect, "I just can't-"

He rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn't let it go, "fine, I can use your help too," he answered reluctantly as he felt the file he was holding being snatched away from him by House who landed so hard back into his chair, he rubbed his thigh having hurt it in the process.

House grinned the more he read the chart, "oh this is good, Foreman. This is really good," he snapped the file shut and moved his head, signalling his team to stand up. He pushed himself out of his chair when he saw they were starting to and swung around to face Cuddy. "I'm gonna, be with him," he used the file to point at Foreman, "in case you want to know that," he stood all the way up, with his cane in hand but kept his eye on her, "see you tonight?"

She nodded, when she saw him limp towards the hallway, still looking at her for an answer, "your place." He grinned while lingering with Foreman, waiting for the rest of his team to filter out. Cuddy waited until they passed before she walked out, and saw Taub and Park pass her and an awkward Adams pass but turned to face her, "if, I had known it was you, Dr. Cuddy I never would have said that," she told her, with Cuddy knowing it was about her hooker comment. Cuddy smiled, knowing it wasn't her fault, "it's fine, Adams."

"Hey!" House screamed, poking his head through the doorway, leaving enough space for Taub to walk through who was passing him, "leave her alone, she's mine! Get your ass over here, Adams!" Cuddy watched as Adams rushed over, relieved the awkward moment with Cuddy was over, and Cuddy smiled at what House just said about her as she walked out of the room a few feet behind them and turned to go in the opposite direction...


	54. Chapter 54

House was laying in his tub soaking his leg with his eyes closed when he heard a faint knock on the front door. He lifted his head from the wall he had it leaned against and opened his eyes, knowing what fist made that noise. He grabbed his leg with his right hand and stood up out of the tub, grabbed the towel he had on the toilet seat and wrapped it around himself, holding it together around his hip while he used his cane to help him limp to the door. He heard the knock repeat and used his right hand, still with his cane in his hand to open it and revealed Cuddy who looked startled by the wet, dripping House in front of her.

"What were you doing?" she asked, staying where she was even though the door was open.

"I wanted to see if I fit in the toilet for a little swim, turned out, I can." He saw her eyebrow arch at him, and he turned serious. "I was soaking my leg. I didn't know what time you were coming over, otherwise I would have-"

"It's my fault, I didn't tell you. I can't stay for too long though, Rachel can only be at my sister's until 9 tonight."

"How long does that give us? A couple hours?"

"Yeah," she stared into his blue eyes, feeling overwhelmed by how much she missed looking into them. "You go soak your leg a little longer. I'll be back with food." He nodded and started to close the door and she extended her arm to stop it and he opened it back with a confused look. She took a step inside, his eyes following her movement as she got closer to him and she cupped his face in her hands, feeling his scruff that was wet in some areas. "You don't think I'm going to leave without a kiss do you?" she said with a grin.

He smirked with a chuckle as an answer, and threw his cane to the ground and wrapped his right arm around and passed her and she heard the door slam behind her as he bent down to have his lips meet hers. His right hand landed on her lower back when their lips met slightly open, and their tongues both ready to escape their own mouths and enter into each others. She moaned into his mouth and he let go of his towel, dropping it on the floor to wrap his other arm around her. Thinking of his leg, she guided him to sit on the top edge of the couch. He let her lead him and stopped when he felt it behind him and she widened her stance feeling his bare legs in between hers. Their breath came more quickly as their tongues fought harder against each other and Cuddy heard the sound of a growl and pulled away. "Is that your stomach?" she asked catching her breath.

"Yeah, yeah, it wants food, so what?" he leaned in for more and she pushed against his chest fighting her own instincts to continue.

"I'll go get us some food."

He exhaled in frustration and limped over to scoop his towel up from the floor to wrap it around himself. He heard her sigh in frustration herself and he looked over with confusion once he pulled the towel around and held the ends together. "What is it?"

"My jacket is all wet now," she whined. She unbuttoned the buttons that were closed and slipped out of it that was long enough to hide what she was wearing but now that it was off, it revealed a tight skirt and a blouse so low his eyes felt like they were going to bulge out of his head just by the sight, thinking any little movement by her in the wrong way will send her breasts flying out for anyone to see. "I guess its not too cold yet. I can go without it," she responded, not regretting pressing up against his wet body which put her in the situation in the first place.

"You got dressed like that to go out?" he asked shocked but, his eyes stayed on her enjoying what he was seeing.

"I wasn't planning on letting people see me like this. I dressed this way to come to see you. There's a difference. But, as it happens, I will be going out like this," she turned towards the door to leave.

"Wait," he said to stop her. She looked over at him and saw him grab his cane off of the floor and took it with him towards his bedroom and came back with his leather jacket that he held in his left hand, having secured his towel by bunching it on the side where it connected and tucked it under for his hip to hold and extended his arm out to her. "Put this on," he said.

She arched her right eyebrow at him when taking it. "House, do you not want people to look at me dressed like this? Are you...jealous?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"Just put it on and shut up," he said avoiding the question. She smiled at him and obeyed, breathing in deeply and grabbed the side of it and brought it up to her face, "what is it?" he asked curiously.

"It smells like you," she said happily.

"I'd be surprised if it didn't. I've had it long enough." He watched as she connected the zipper and zipped it up.

"Should I leave the door unlocked?"

He shook his head no and limped over to the desk next to his bookshelf and over to her when he picked up an object that he held in his palm with his fingers wrapped around it, so she couldn't tell what it was. "Put out your hand."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Just do it!" he snapped. She turned her left hand over and showed it to him. "Take this and use it when you come back."

She felt something cold exchange from his hand to hers and looked down when he lowered his hand and saw a key. "Is this your copy?"

"No," he answered, stomping his cane on the ground and headed back to the bathroom.

"Is it your spare?"

"Sure," he turned his head to look at her, "call it what you want."

"House, is this my copy of your apartment key?" she called out to him having gotten halfway through his hallway.

"Stomach's still growling!" he shouted over his shoulder.

She smiled and looked down at it, knowing by his avoidance of answering that it was, and held it up to her chest feeling closer to him then she ever has before and left to get them dinner...


	55. Chapter 55

She came back forty minutes later and let herself in. "House!" she called out when she placed the pizza she opted to get for them onto the coffee table and didn't hear him answer. "House!" she tried again but still heard nothing. She stood still, listening for any noise in the apartment but didn't hear anything at all. She thought back to if she saw his motorcycle out front which after a couple seconds of thinking back, she remembered she did. She gave the living room a confused look as she unzipped and slipped out of his jacket and tossed it onto the couch.

She walked through the hallway to poke her head into the bathroom to see if he was still in there and saw it empty, so turned to go into his bedroom, the only room she didn't check. "House," she said in a whining tone at the sight of him with pajama pants on, no shirt, and face down in the middle of his bed. "House, get up," she said while walking over to him. "Hey, wake up," she sat at his left and shook him by laying her hand on his back.

"Mmmm sleep," he mumbled into the pillow.

She smiled at him and laid her body draped across his back, with her left cheek pressed up against him. "House, wake up, I only have less than an hour left before I have to go," she paused, waiting for a response but got none. "I have food." She let out a scream when she felt his body turn abruptly, and both his hands grabbed her arms and pulled her up to him. She smiled at his big blue eyes that stared intently into hers. "Why are you so tired?"

"Because, there's this boss that I have that makes me have sex with her whenever she gets the chance," he announced while turning his body, forcing her to lay on her back, with him landing on top of her.

"Well, he never listens to me at work, so its refreshing that I can get him to do something that pleases me," she answered with a smile.

"Oh," he responded with a smirk, "so that's how this works now? I can get away with doing nothing at the hospital as long as I keep mounting you whenever is most convenient?"

"That's not what I said!"

"But, that's what I heard," he leaned his head down and kissed her neck.

Her eyes fluttered shut but tried to fight it, "House, c'mon, there's food, lets eat first before it gets cold."

"What did you get?" he asked, landing on a different part of her neck to kiss.

"Pizza."

"Pizzas good cold," he answered, placing his left hand on her cleavage and his right slipped underneath her skirt, caressing her upper inner thighs, with his knuckles pushing against her in between both of them and watched as she inhaled deeply to his touch. "But, maybe you're right. We should eat," he said while removing both hands and slid off of her and then off the bed.

"What?" she asked, her eyes opening in slight disorientation.

"I'm agreeing with you, we should eat first," he grinned, knowing he made her want him.

"But-"

"C'mon, Cuddy, you don't have all night, you said so yourself," he called out over his shoulder after grabbing his cane and limped out of his bedroom and down the hall.

Cuddy laid on his bed for a minute longer, still feeling twinges through her body from what he started to do. She sighed out of frustration and stomped into the living room, and saw him hunched over the open pizza box, shoving a piece in his mouth for what looked like the third bite. "I hate you," she snapped, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch.

"No you don't," he answered. "You love me, you told me so not that long ago."

She narrowed her eyes on his face which looked back at her grinning, "right now, I hate you," she pulled her legs up close to her, not caring how short her skirt was or how much of it exposed her, in her mind, she wasn't going to let him anywhere near her for the night after what he pulled on her. She saw his eyes lower to where she felt a draft and smirked, pleased that he seemed to want her. Her smirk went away and her eyes narrowed on him again when she saw him look up at her.

"Oh come on," he said, tossing the half eaten piece back in the box, "you really think I'd send you home all hot and bothered for me?" he waved his arm, motioning for her to come closer to him. "Come here, Cuddy, come on."

"No," she retorted, standing her ground. "I'm not all hot and bothered for you," she snapped.

He exhaled a laugh, "you so are! Look at you! When you came in here you were hanging all over me, wanting me to wake up, now you're trying to pierce me to death with your stares because I stopped doing what you wanted me to do."

"I'm hungry," she retorted, leaning forward to grab a piece and went back to her corner of the couch.

"Oh, okay, my mistake," he answered sarcastically, and grabbed the piece he threw down a second ago to finish.

They ate in silence, Cuddy working on the piece she chose while House grabbed a second. "House, what do you think you'd be doing right now if we...if I, never came back?" she asked, watching him for an answer.

He swallowed the pizza in his mouth, "I'd be doing this. Having pizza with some woman. Probably a hooker."

"I'm serious!"

He let out a laugh, "so am I."

"You don't think that's a little...sad?" she asked with concern.

He shrugged, "well, that's just how things are for me. If I'm not here with one of my exes, then, it tends to be a hooker."

"One of your exes?"

"Yeah," he said, holding her gaze then continued, "you remember how...I tried to get back with Stacy a while back?"

"Right," Cuddy answered while looking down, "is that what this is? You just, having sex with an ex because you can? Because its familiar?"

He stared into her eyes, waiting to answer which made Cuddy's heart beat faster, regretting the question, "is that what you think I'm doing?"

"No...I hope it's not," she answered, meekly.

He inhaled, "its not. Is that what you're doing? Sleeping with an ex because its familiar?"

"No...House, you're my boyfriend!"

"Am I?"

"You don't think you are?"

"I don't know. I went to your place, had sex, tried to have sex again, eventually did, and, well...but, you can have sex with people without it meaning anything."

"House," she was shocked by what she just heard, "how could you think it means nothing? Of course you're my boyfriend!"

"A boyfriend who...you hate, right?"

She let out a laugh, and threw her piece of pizza she had been holding but no longer eating, "well that's only because you got me all hot and bothered for you."

"I knew you were lying!" he wagged his finger at her and slid over to where she was, "come on, let me fix that for you, before you run out of time."

She surrendered to his pull at her legs to straighten her out, out of her sitting position to laying down and pushed her legs apart and nudged his way in between. His lips met hers, tasting the pizza she ate and used his right hand to free himself from his pajama pants and slid them down to his knees. He pushed her skirt up and pulled her panties down and saw that she was ready for him.

He pushed them down a little further and he shifted himself out of the way as she kicked them free from around her legs and pulled him forward by hooking both her legs around him.

She closed her eyes and felt him enter inside of her. "Oh God, House," she blindly pulled at his bare back to bring him closer to her, to pull him down into her. She felt him moving inside of her, starting a slow steady rhythm that was driving all the nerves in her body crazy. Her hands slid up from his back to his neck and brought his head forward and next to hers. He moaned into her ear with the sudden pull and she felt his stubble on her cheek brushing against her with his movements. "House...fas...faster..." her hands slid back down to his back and her nails dug into his skin as he grabbed hold of the arm rest around her head for leverage and thrust harder.

Her head was hitting the couch with each movement, both their moans got louder and in sync. He responded to hers by keeping the pace faster and harder until he knew all it would take was one more. He pulled back so far he was practically out when he shoved inside of her as hard as he could as she let out a scream and he collapsed on top of her slowly letting out his last moan, panting into the couch, with his head having fallen to her right.

"Oh..House," she said in between breaths, tightening her hold on him, kissing the right side of his neck and tangled her fingers from both hands into his hair. She felt his breath on her neck as he tried to steady it and shifted his position, triggering a moan from each of them.

"House?"

"Yeah?" he asked in between breaths.

She took two deep breaths, still trying to steady her own breathing, "I don't want to go."

"Is it time?"

"Yeah," she answered sadly.

"Okay," he took another deep breath to steady himself and slid out of her. "I don't want your sister to hate me for anything else...if...I have the boyfriend title again."

Cuddy smiled, hearing him say that, but quickly faded when the thought of leaving his place became real. She laid there and watched him pull up his pants while looking at her stomach and bent down and fixed her skirt. His eyes drifted up and found hers, extending his left hand, "come on." She took his hand in hers and he pulled her into sitting position then shifted his stance and held both her hands and lifted them to help her stand. They stood a half an inch away from one another, and their eyes locked. The right side of his mouth curved into a smile, and brushed her hair back, bending down to kiss her.

He ended it a couple seconds later, with Cuddy still silent. "Go on, get out of here, I'll see you tomorrow," he said casually, knowing if she were to linger any longer than she was, he'd start trying to convince her to stay despite knowing she had to go.

She slipped her arms around him and pressed her right cheek against his bare chest. "I don't hate you, House."

He dipped his face into her hair and took a long breath, taking the scent in, "I know. I didn't buy that for a second."

She slid her arms away, kissed his chest, and without any other words exchanged between the two of them, she grabbed her things and left...


	56. Chapter 56

Cuddy walked into Wilson's office and went straight to his couch and sat silently.

"You do know you walked into my office and not House's, right?"

She turned her head to face him, "are you saying you want me to leave?"

"I'm...not saying that at all. I'm more confused...as to why you are here and not in there," he used his pen to point towards the shared patio which on the other side was House's office, "where I know House is," he finished.

She sighed, "I'm here to talk to you."

"Oh, okay, what about?"

"House...we have been having a lot of sex lately and," Wilson shifted uncomfortably in his chair but stayed quiet, "right before we did it last night-"

"Okkaaaay, Cuddy, can we cut to what you need to talk to me about? And please don't say its your sex life."

"What? Oh, no. I'm just saying," she sighed and started talking with her hands. "We do all these...things..these couple things, which I thought he understood we were a couple...I mean we were talking babies, and all this but still, he needed to be told he was my boyfriend instead of-"

"Uh, Cuddy, why are you using past tense?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you just said 'were' a couple, and 'was' your boyfriend...shouldn't you be saying 'are a couple' or, 'is your boyfriend?" His eyes widened, "did you come in here to tell me that you are breaking up with him?" he paused, and started to sound and look panicked, "please don't tell me you are and ask me to keep it from him. He has this weird mind thing where he knows what I know no matter how much I-"

"That's not what I'm here for. And...I didn't mean the past tense thing..it just...happened," she thought for a second if there was meaning behind it but pushed the thought away. "I'm here because well, you know House the best out of everyone and, well, I just want to-"

"Hey Wilson! So tomorrow I-" House said cheerfully as he interrupted what Cuddy was saying by throwing the door open and stopped short when he made his way to the couch to sit and saw it was occupied by Cuddy. He narrowed his eyes on her, "what are you doing here?"

"Nothing, I-"

"Wilson, what is she doing here?" House asked, shifting to look at him thinking he will get a different answer.

"I was just about to find that out myself. She just came in a minute ago."

He looked baffled, "she's been in here a whole minute and you're just now about to find out what she's here about?"

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?" Cuddy asked House angry at his demeanor. Instead of answering House gave a parting look to Wilson, and took a step back and out of the office and closed the door. Cuddy and Wilson exchanged confused glances and Cuddy got up from the couch and left the office to catch up with him. "House!" she called out when she saw him limp over to the elevator and stabbed the button with the tip of his cane for it to arrive at his floor. "What the hell was that about?"

Without answering, House stepped into the elevator which opened the doors. "Why don't you tell me," he spat out, seeing her walk in with him.

Cuddy cornered House to the back right of the elevator wall. "What is wrong with you?" she shouted after slamming the button with her fist that stops the elevator.

"Nothing is wrong with me! I'm fine. Or at least, I thought I was before I caught you in Wilson's office!"

"What the hell do you think we were doing in there? Planning a get away? Do you think I'm secretly sleeping with him behind your back?"

House's face flushed full of anger. "I didn't think you were but now I have to think that because why would you say it unless you were thinking it?"

"Oh my God, House, really? You really think I would do that to you? After everything we've been through together-"

"Fine..maybe you aren't sleeping with-"

"Maybe?" she shouted in disbelief.

"What the hell were you talking to him about?" he challenged, having lowered his face to be an inch from hers.

"Since when can't I talk to my friend without being forced to tell you what we were talking about?"

"Since when is what you guys talk about such a big secret?"

Cuddy huffed, knowing by not answering she was making things worse. "I was talking to Wilson about us," she said softly.

"Well then," he leaned forward into her getting closer, which confused her as to what he was doing but saw his left arm reach around her and press the button that got the elevator moving again and hit the level floor he needed. "I would hate to interfere in that conversation...since," he paused and shrugged, "you obviously don't want to talk to ME about us." His eyes left her and went up to the numbers that lit up and saw they reached his floor he wanted and limped around and passed her, "hope you enjoy your little chat."

Cuddy sighed, watching House get further away as the doors slid closed, dividing the two of them.

* * *

House's eyes lifted from his keys his fingers were making contact with on his piano to Cuddy who unlocked the front door to his apartment and closed it behind her. His eyes fell back down and continued to play.

"You're still not going to say anything to me? I didn't see you at all at the hospital after the elevator and now that I'm here, at ten at night, having all this time to yourself since you got home to think about how you overreacted, you're going to pretend that I'm not here and continue to say nothing?"

House sighed, never missing a note in his song. "I didn't ask you to stop by, and I wasn't overreacting. I still think if you really wanted to talk to me and not Wilson..." he drifted, almost missing a key by hitting the one next to it but hit the right one after and continued playing and talking, "you would have, instead of going back to talk to him the minute we parted from the elevator. And you wouldn't have waited all day to do it, either."

Cuddy sighed, "I didn't want to wait all day to come talk to you, but the way you stormed off, I thought I'd give you some space. And I told you, I was talking to Wilson about us. I wanted to get his opinion on what he thought about how you were acting about things."

"And you didn't think to ask me? You had to go straight to him," he commented, his playing continued.

Cuddy took a second to think before answering. "Maybe that was the wrong thing to do. But, a part of me was afraid to ask you, or talk to you directly because I was afraid of what you would say. If I asked Wilson and he said what I feared from you, I thought...I don't know," she shrugged and continued, "I thought I could argue my side and somehow he would take it back and change his answer."

"You know...I'm also capable of having a conversation just like Wilson. I might have changed my answer also if you gave me the chance to whatever you were asking him about me," he looked up from his piano but kept his fingers playing. "I thought we were doing okay. What were you so worried to hear me say?"

She wanted to tell him, she knew he was right with everything he just said. She should have come to him and that would have made them avoid this whole day of them ignoring each other. But, it was the ignoring forever she was worried about. "It was nothing," she answered.

His face showed sadness and tried to hide it from her by looking down at his piano. He felt her standing there watching him, waiting for something more to happen. He could feel the room grow with tension and wished she would go away and take the feeling with her. He heard her heels click on his floor, making the conscious effort to keep his eyes on his hands the closer she got. He looked up when he heard the sound of a key land on top of his piano. "You're giving it back?" he asked, his eyes traveling back to her, knowing it was the key to his place.

She walked to the front door before answering and turned to face him again. "I don't see any reason to keep it. If you can't even look at me, then why keep something like a key to your place? Unless, you don't want us to drift apart. Unless you talk to me about what your feeling about what happened today...and just feel in general. If you talk to me instead of playing that damn thing like I'm not here, then maybe I'll keep it."

He looked back down at his piano and heard her sigh heavily and opened the door to leave. "You tell Wilson more than you tell me," he blurted out to keep her there.

Cuddy turned to face him again and closed the door. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did you pick him over me to tell when you planned to adopt? You had me do the injections, I was the only one that knew about that and never told anyone, why did you turn to him and not me?"

"What? I told you when I was considering it."

"No, not recently. Years ago, before you got Rachel. You told him but not me. If I hadn't been following Wilson that day when he met with you, I never would have known."

Cuddy stepped away from the door and over to the couch and sat down. "House, I told him and not you because..." she looked around trying to find the words, "he was better with that kind of stuff then you were."

"You never gave me the chance!"

She scoffed, "and you would have been better? Is that what you're telling me?"

House looked down, knowing she made the right call with telling Wilson, but, it still hurt him that he wasn't included when he just assumed he'd be the guy if she ever decided on that route because of the damn injections that she trusted him with. "No."

Her tone dropped, treading lightly on what she was saying, "has that been bugging you all this time? That was years ago, House," she looked at him sympathetically, but he wasn't looking at her to see it.

"Maybe you should go. I'm tired, goodnight, Cuddy," he told her, lifting his fingers off the keys and grabbed his cane to leave his piano. She stood when he limped passed her and headed towards the hallway.

She walked around the couch and stood silently watching him get closer to his bedroom. "House," she called out desperately, trying to get him to turn back around to continue their talk. Instead, he kept going and closed his bedroom door behind him after he entered. She sighed and walked over to the front door to leave but looked in the direction of the hall one last time and saw the closed bedroom door. A chill ran through her body, feeling like all the progress they made just slipped away...


	57. Chapter 57

Cuddy stared blankly at the surface of her desk with nothing on it to look at, still thinking of how the night before ended. She wanted to know how long the adoption thing with Wilson had been bothering him. She wished he had at least given her an answer. But, she felt like she already knew what the answer was. His not answering told her that it had been on his mind this whole time.

She knew she pushed too hard going to Wilson to talk about House. She doesn't fault Wilson in this mess, and doubted House did either, but in this moment, in this point in the relationship that she was trying to form with House, she was frustrated that Wilson knew answers to his thoughts that she didn't. She wanted to know him as well as he did. She shook her head, to try and get that train of thought out. Wilson has done nothing wrong.

She sighed heavily and leaned her head back resting on the back of her chair with her eyes closed and stayed that way until she heard noise coming from the Clinic that was more than usual. She evened her head and opened her eyes to see what it was. The Clinic looked unusually busy, the noise being answered by the sounds of upset patients who have been waiting for a while. She stood up to go see what she can do to help until she caught sight of House standing near the Pharmacy. Her new targeted reasoning to go out there became him.

She was about to call out his name to get his attention but stopped to watch what he was doing. A pharmacist handed him a bottle of pills, and he made the same motion he had time and time again during the day that she was so accustomed to see him do before they were a couple the first time. But now, after everything they went through, in the past and recently, it pained her to watch him dump pills into his palm and popped them down his throat to take them with urgency. "Is that Vicodin?" she asked as she walked up to him.

He turned to face her after a hard swallow. "What else would it be?"

"How many did you just take?" she asked, not being able to mask the concern in her tone.

"Does it matter?" he retorted, starting to limp away after slipping the bottle into his right jean pocket and looked annoyed at seeing her following him.

"It does when you're one of my best doctors and you put your health at risk with no regard to how it effects other people," she snapped back, easily keeping up with his pace through the Clinic and into the lobby.

He stopped short and glared at her, "nice. All I am to you now is your hospital's best doctor?"

"No. But, you left me no choice but to make you that to me," she snapped.

They reached the elevator and she stood there with him at his right. "I didn't leave you no choice," he mumbled back and turned his head to look at her. "If you remember, I was happy."

"Yeah, and let the simplest thing set you off and run away," she said annoyed. They entered the elevator when the doors opened.

"If I were waiting for this so called simplest thing, as you claim I was...wouldn't you think it would be the miscarriage, or...I don't know...talk of having babies that would have been the ones to make me run?" He let the question hang in the thick air of the small elevator that they shared only with each other but to Cuddy, it felt like it was so packed in with people she couldn't move. Another thing he was right about. He didn't run during those times. "Are you really going to follow me to my office? I have doctoring to do, you know."

"I...have to see Wilson about a patient," she lied. She really did want to follow him but now that he called her on it, she had to think of something to say and Wilson seemed like the easy choice, although in the situation they were in now, she regretting the second she said it, knowing it was the worst.

"Of course you do," he answered sarcastically while watching the lights change with the floors.

She hit the button to stop the elevator again, knowing they were reaching the floor soon but she wasn't done with him and swiveled around to be face to face with him. "What do you want me to do to prove to you its you I want and not Wilson, House? You want me to tear off all my clothes and screw you right here so everyone can hear and see us leaving together knowing it was us making all the noise? Or can you actually take my word for it and know that I'm telling you the truth when I tell you I choose you?" she shouted.

He didn't say anything back. He stared her down, and his eyes traveled down to her chest and watched it move with the rhythm of her hard breathing while trying to steady it from the anger that was building up in her. She was upset that he leered so freely at her like they weren't arguing at all. His eyes moved up to hers as though sensing her feelings. "No. That's not what I want," he commented.

Their eyes stayed on one another, searching for what each were feeling without having to say. He had to have known she made a mistake, she thought. She wanted so badly to take all her actions that she did the day before back. She wanted his arms draped around her, his kisses all over every inch of her, she wanted to be let back in. She was about to tell him all this when he took out his pill bottle and popped another pill in his mouth, all without breaking his eye contact with her. She felt hurt that he was going against what she asked him to do about taking Vicodin responsibly, and doing it right in front of her. He slipped the bottle back in his pocket, used his cane to step around her to face the doors and hit the button to activate the elevator and the button to the floor before his to get off before her.

She stayed facing the wall but turned her head to her right. "House," she called out. He stayed silent but knew he was listening so continued. "I do love you."

The sound of the elevator doors opening came before his answer. He stomped his cane on the ground to take a step out. "I know," he answered softly while limping towards the hallway, and the doors closed, separating the two of them...


	58. Chapter 58

"It's been a while since I've seen you, Greg. Is there a reason you came back here now?" Nolan asked House when he came into the office and made himself comfortable.

"I missed your smile."

"Is that all?" he went on.

"Don't sound too heartbroken. I haven't been going to those stupid couple...group sessions, whatever you want to call them with Cuddy and Scott either."

"Is there a reason for that?"

"Yeeeaaah," House answered, wide eyed with a hint of sarcasm, "too many people were dying."

"And they aren't now?"

"Are we going to go back and forth like this this for the rest of my time here?" he asked, now irritated.

"We could...unless, there is something else you have in mind that you want to talk about." Nolan leaned back in his chair and made himself comfortable.

House knew the look he was getting. Nolan was showing him his 'I know there is and I've pushed you to the breaking point' look. He scowled at him, angry at himself that he felt compelled to respond to that look every time. "It's Cuddy," House said, waiting for a reaction before he said anymore.

"What did she do? Or, the better question, what did you do?" Nolan asked with full interest.

House ignored what he just heard and responded his own way. "We..." He hesitated, knowing he'd have to start from the beginning and tell him about their relationship that they started. "We have sort of, been seeing each other."

Nolan's eyes widened, "you are a couple again," he stated.

"Yeah, I guess, we were."

"Were? What happened?"

House took a deep breath, "she went to talk to Wilson about me...which, is fine when we weren't a couple. But, now that we are...or, were..."

"They are friends, aren't they? Why is she talking to Wilson bothering you so much that it broke you two up?" Nolan asked confused.

"She was talking to him about me!" he repeated with a shout.

"Well, in all fairness to Cuddy, there had to be a reason she went to him."

House narrowed his eyes on Nolan, "she said she wanted to see what he thought I feel about things...or, whatever."

"And you know this, how?"

"Because she told me."

"Why couldn't you answer the questions she had for you?"

"She never gave me a chance! She went straight to him! I saw her the night before...we screwed..she went home. That was that. The next morning I get to the hospital, go to Wilson's office to tell him something and she's sitting there already talking to him. I didn't see or talk to her since she left my place."

Nolan thought over what he was just told before responding, and inhaled when he had a question, and furrowed his brow at House. "Now, you say that she went in there to talk to Wilson...about you," House nodded in agreement. "How do you know she went in there to talk about you? She had to have told you at some point to know, right?"

"Yeah, she came over my place later and told me."

"And did you answer her questions and talk to her when she did?"

House grew silent, knowing where this conversation was being led. "No, I told her I was tired and left the room." Nolan smirked at him and let out a small chuckle which angered House even more. "What?" he shouted.

"You tell her to leave when she comes to you and you're upset that she goes to Wilson to talk about you? If this relationship you are trying to build with her has any chance of working you have to not just...have sex, but also talk to one another. Otherwise, things will be left unsaid, you'll get mad at her for whatever reason you find, she'll get mad at you for whatever reason she finds, which instead of being avoided by talking to one another...you, will spiral out of control like you have a tendency of doing, and do something stupid...and quite possibly end up right back in Mayfield, or, jail, for something you did to her. And she'll leave, all over again. Do you want that to happen, Greg?"

"No," he answered through his teeth while glaring at Nolan.

"Then...talk to her. Call her up, invite her over, and talk. Maybe things will work out with the two of you right away, maybe it will take some time. But, start with talking. Listen to her questions and answer them. I know you don't open up that easily, I know its hard for you, but I know you care deeply for Cuddy. So, let her back in. I want you to see me more also. I don't want you to just come in whenever you get the chance, or feel like it. You come here once a week. I'm sure Cuddy will be fine with it if you tell her. So, don't use your patients as an excuse. You have a team, if you are really worried, take your phone off silent. If you get a call from them, you can take it," he paused to see if House had anything to say about what he told him and when he saw that he continued to stare intently at him, he went on. "If you two have come this far-"

"There's more I haven't told you," House interrupted.

"That's fine, we can talk about all the other stuff next time you come here. For now, focus on talking to her. You have come along way Greg, and its not going to be easy. But, if you try really hard, you two can finally find your way back to good."

House nodded, looked at the time on his wristwatch and saw his time with him was up. "Okay, I'll talk to her," he said and stood up and left.

* * *

A/N- Hey you guys, so, this is going to be the last chapter of this part of the series. To those of you who want to continue to follow the story (which I hope is all of you!) I'll be posting the first chapter to the part four installment of "Fixing What Was Broken" series, (this one you're reading right now) so keep a look out for it! I haven't decided on a name yet, but, hopefully when I finish writing it, I'll have come up with one and post it as soon as its done. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with this series so far...there's more to come! :)


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